Is there a chance?

[bullsfanjulia]

So about 4 months after my ex broke up with me he finally texted me. If you have read any of my older posts I kept wondering if he would. I kept saying that I had an intuitive feeling that things aren't over between us because I really feel like he is my soul mate. I've been on other dates, and had some hookups with people. I'm not sure if he saw me posting about them so he felt jealous? He still follows me.

 

Well anyway, he texted me that he still loves me and thinks about me all the time, that the situation is really hard and he feels terrible for hurting me because I don't deserve that. I pretty much replied that I love him too but he needs to forgive himself for hurting me because I forgave him and it never changed the way I felt about him. It felt really good to tell him that. We had been texting about how we felt back and forth for about 3 weeks but in very vey slow replies -I think we both sent about 4 'messages each, mine being the last.

 

I really do love him and now I know that he loves me too, but he said that being in an LDR is so hard when he is trying to work on himself.

 

He also said he wishes he met me at a healthier time in his life. or if he was already living in Chicago

 

Do you think eventually there's hope for him and I being together? I have been moving on with my life and I'm not sad about our break up anymore but I am still very much in love with him, I think that if two people love each other and are meant to be they'll find their way back to each other but it's just so hard to tell. help!

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he misses you but has reiterated that he doesn't want a LDR and would rather 'work on himself'.

 

It doesn't sound like he's looking for reconciliation if he said this 6786470]He also said he wishes he met me at a healthier time in his life. or if he was already living in Chicago

[itsbannapple]

I have been through something like this. I do agree that if both of you are in love, you'll return into eachothers lives for some reason. How long were you together for? Also if he wants to work on himself first, I think you should let him do thay before every getting involved with him again. I went through that with my boyfriend. I was u healthy mentally and wasn't ready to be with him but somewhat felt forced into the relationship and it made me spiral downwards. If your ex works on himself (and you also work on yourself) I think there can be a hance you guys could be back together in a much happier and healthier way. As for the LDR, that is hard to deal with. You never can tell what the other person is doing while they are so far away from you. If he is a trusting person and never had cheated or lied about something serious like that, then you should be fine. I hope it works out for you guys.

[greta96]

It sounds like he only wanted to alleviate his guilty conscience by getting your forgiveness for having hurt you, and also he may have wanted to make sure you're still hung up on him, as many exes tend to do. They don't really want you to move on that easily, and even though they don't want the relationship back, they prefer to believe you're still there pining away for them. It's an ego thing, not necessarily related to feelings. That's why it's usually a good idea not to be so quick to forgive someone who wronged us, and more importantly, not to ever let them know they still have us where they want. Unless they come right out and say they made a mistake by letting you go and ask for another chance, that is.

 

He doesn't sound like he changed his stance on the breakup, but now he probably feels absolved of the guilt and more free to move on. And now he knows that should things not work out with others, you're still there to potentially fall back on. In a way, I'm afraid you just made his moving on process easier.

 

I don't know if you two will get back together or not, anything is possible of course, but I wouldn't count on what happened to be a sign that a reconciliation is in the cards. Continue your moving on process, and live your life as a single person, if you meet someone else you like by all means give him a chance and see where it goes. Don't read too much into your ex's breadcrumbs, and under no circumstances put your life on hold waiting for him to change his mind. If it's meant to be it will be, even if you are long moved on.