luny911 Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 Hi everyone, I really need some support in this moment of my life. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of friends to talk to or even my family, they wouldn't understand what I'm going through without judging me. First of all I'm not a native english speaker so you will find some mistakes, so sorry in advance. We are both 25 years old. Some common friends introduced us. I have been with this guy for 1 and a half years, things were going really good in the beginning but as often happens, things started to change in the last period, especially in the last 5 months. It was me that had changed: i couldn't feel the energy and the affection I had before, maybe because as I grew knowing him better I knew that he was not the one for me, different interests, different views of things and life. He kept talking about future marriage, house together, kids, all sort of things that i don't see in my immediate future. We have different thoughts about religion, family, way of living life, and most of all we have some difficulties in the sex life, we just don't match for private reasons I'm not going to discuss here. My unsatisfaction grew up more and more, as I was feeling every day more anxious and detatched from him, from all the friends we had in common, i couldnt stand to go to his house anymore at dinner with his family, as i was feeling it as if it was making me more affectionated to his family even more, even though I knew deep inside that this thing couldn't last for any longer... whoever has gone through what i'm going through can understand this, i suppose. But during all of this, i still was confused, i thought that maybe it was just paranoia, maybe it was just depression, it was me, not him, as i couldnt find any flaw in what he was doing, he is such a caring and loving person, i couldnt ask for more, i can't find one thing that he does wrong to me, so i kept telling my self " i can't lose him, i have no reason for it, i would be a mad if i did", so things kept going on with my thoughts like this for the last 5 months. the last straw was when he told me that, for me, for our relationships, he was giving up an important "job" opportunity, which means he doesnt want to go outside of our town anymore for work, but he will remain close, because he says if he leaves, then our relationship would suffer from it. this sent me into a state of full depression and anxiety and also, of course, sense of guilt, because for me he is giving up something important, he cares a lot about us, but meanwhile i have all these thoughts, and now i've reached teh conclusion that our story must come to an end. it has been 10 days that i've been locked up in my room, crying, cause i dont know how to escape this stiuation, everytime i see him is to go to his parents house, or to see friends, its like we never have some times to talk alone, and i just can't bring myself to send the infamous message "we need to talk", cause i imagine that would throw him into a state of panic, and i dont want him to panic or feel bad or sad, but i know this is inevitable. i just have no idea how to introduce the argument or how to express him what i'm feeling, everytime we see each other he is always so sweet and caring and i dont know how to "break" out of the blue with such a strong confession to make, which is i dont love him anymore and we should break up. I just have no idea how to. I've seen him this afternoon, too, i was strongly decided to tell him and be clear and sincere to him, but as soon as he saw me he made this big smile, saying "hi my baby" kissing and hugging, and i couldnt find the strenght to tell him "no , we need to talk" or something like that. I'ts like i'm blocked, i dont know how to react and im so afraid to hurt him a lot. or that he will be angry at me. but just like its' not his fault if i dont love him anymore, its not my fault, either.... it seems like i just "fell out of love".. as stupid as it sounds... Link to comment
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