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My boyfriend sometimes feels more like a roommate


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We've been together for five years and we're still really close, but the romance is almost non existant. We never cuddle, if I try to kiss him he'll give me a peck but nothing passionate and we barely have sex. He says he's tired and I understand that, but I'm worried he's not attracted to me anymore. I've brought it up but he gets defensive whenever I say anything is wrong. When we argue he always talks down to me and has these little comments that just bring me down to the dirt and make me feel awful. I know he cares about me and he's a good guy but he lets his anger get the best of him and it feels like we're friends instead of lovers. I can't even talk to him about certain things because he gets so judgmental. It's improved a bit over the years but still a serious problem, I don't know what to do

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We've been together for five years and we're still really close, but the romance is almost non existant. We never cuddle, if I try to kiss him he'll give me a peck but nothing passionate and we barely have sex. He says he's tired and I understand that, but I'm worried he's not attracted to me anymore. I've brought it up but he gets defensive whenever I say anything is wrong. When we argue he always talks down to me and has these little comments that just bring me down to the dirt and make me feel awful. I know he cares about me and he's a good guy but he lets his anger get the best of him and it feels like we're friends instead of lovers. I can't even talk to him about certain things because he gets so judgmental. It's improved a bit over the years but still a serious problem, I don't know what to do

 

This is an improvement?

 

It always strikes me when some one shares a story like this.

 

No sex or affection. He blocks communication. He tears you down and he has anger issues.

 

Yet he's a great guy and you know he cares?

 

How do you know he cares? If you two are acting like roommates, minimal, if no physical contact and he talks down to you,

what exactly does he do that makes you believe he's a good guy that cares?

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Ask yourself where is this going and how do you feel and what your vision for yourself is. If this doesn't line up don't stay out of complacency or dependence.

 

Start getting out more. Take classes. Go out with friends more. Work out and update your hair, clothes, image. Become mysterious. Develop an exit plan.

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This actually makes me wonder why both of my long term girlfriends left me, even a day before they dumped me we were having sex, easily 5 to 10 times a week. They both said they lost feelings for me. Year later I saw one and we had sex she said she didn't miss me but missed the sex.

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The day my BF refuses to talk about lack of intimacy (should that happen) is the day I pack my bags and run to the nearest exit. I got 3 brothers, and I don't need a 4th. There is more negative than positive in your post. If he shuts down or acts abusive when you attempt to communicate with him about difficult topics, I am not sure what you have left in the way of a relationship. Honestly he sounds like he needs a serious wake up call. Like an ultimatum. Talk or walk.

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The day my BF refuses to talk about lack of intimacy (should that happen) is the day I pack my bags and run to the nearest exit. I got 3 brothers, and I don't need a 4th. There is more negative than positive in your post. If he shuts down or acts abusive when you attempt to communicate with him about difficult topics, I am not sure what you have left in the way of a relationship. Honestly he sounds like he needs a serious wake up call. Like an ultimatum. Talk or walk.

 

Amen! Preach!

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