lck93 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Hi there, my ex and I split up about a month ago now after a 4 year relationship....it's been very stressful as I had to find a new home etc. I have been OK after the initial week and hadn't seen her at all except for today. We had agreed that both of us should see our dog so she had been dropping her to my sisters for the past month but I decided to ask her just to drop her to the house I'm currently in. I felt nothing really when she came but after a while the ache in my chest started again, and after seeing her again when picking our dog up I am really confused and hurting. I don't want to be with her, I know that for sure. I will be seeing her quite often now and I need to get over this, I can't keep falling back into this hurt and confusion every time I see her...cutting her off completely isn't an option we both adore our dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waraqqa Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Why not go back to the previous arrangement of dropping the dog off at your sister's? And why did you change that in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lck93 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 Because it was a lot of hassle, and my nephew has autism and wasn't coping very well with the dog there.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Why did you break up and move out? You say in the same breath you don't want her back but there's an ache in your heart? Even people with children share custody and work things out so either put your emotions aside and just see the dog or let her have the dog or you keep it or get yourself new pets. This dog arrangement will be a giant red flag if you ever decide to move on and date. We had agreed that both of us should see our dog. I felt nothing really when she came but after a while the ache in my chest started again, and after seeing her again when picking our dog up I am really confused and hurting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quidam Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Ur making a lot of fuss for dogs.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Miracle Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Are you using the dog as a thread to keep her in your life? I've had dogs, I know about the attachment. But you can't put your attachment to your dog, or your nephews attachment to your dog, before your happiness and well being. Just get a new dog man, or paper rock scissors for the existing dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lck93 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 Said dog is my retired assistant dog so there's no way I will leave her completely. The ex has said she will go through court for the dog if she has too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lck93 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 No I know I don't want to be with her, it was a toxic relationship she constantly made me feel worthless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lck93 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 She's not just any dog, she's my retired assistance dog who has saved my life on numerous occasions during epileptic fits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 She's not just any dog, she's my retired assistance dog who has saved my life on numerous occasions during epileptic fits. Then I think you have a strong court case. Call her bluff and tell her to go ahead and file. She'll lose interest after she sees how much money it will cost her. What's her claim to the dog? Tell her to stay away from you and your service dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 On what basis? Pay her off. I know, sounds bad but try it. The ex has said she will go through court for the dog if she has too "The Law: Pets as Property Currently, our legal system classifies pets as property right alongside cars and televisions. While it’s safe to say that most "pet parents" would disagree and see their companions as true members of the family, that view has no standing in court. That fact becomes very clear to couples battling over assets in divorce court. In that arena, except in cases where cruelty can be shown, it is proof of ownership that almost always determines custody of the family pet. In determining proof of ownership, a judge will consider the following: Registration and license: The most likely document to be recognized by the court is the initial registration required for the majority of household pets. That document will have the name of the person who registered the pet with the local authorities and paid the associated licensing fees. Remember, signing your name on a registration form carries weight. The registered owner of a pet is responsible for future licensing and vaccinations, as well as any issues of liability that may arise. Veterinary records: The court may also consider veterinary medical records. At your pet’s first visit to the veterinarian, you will be asked to supply the name of the owner. If you are part of a couple, both parties can be listed as owners. If a pet custody battle takes place, having both names listed will show the court that each party showed an interest in the pet’s well-being. From there, the judge will most often look at who paid the majority of the pet’s veterinary bills to help determine legal ownership. Microchip records: Beyond being one of the wisest things a pet parent can do, microchipping also serves as a record of ownership. Just as with veterinary records, both parties can be listed as owners of the pet, which will show an interest in the animal's well-being in the eyes of the court. Pedigree registries: If a couple has a purebred pet, registering him with the American Kennel Club (AKC) or the Cat Fanciers' Association (CFA) or another recognized organization will show who has legal ownership, and both parties can be listed as owners." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Miracle Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 If this is a retired service dog, registered in your name, with life saving virtue, why does your ex have the dog at all? Wiseman just gave you the gold. send your ex a copy of the law regarding pets within a divorce, and get your dog back. Win win for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I'm curious about the dog, too, OP, if you don't mind elaborating, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbbcoop77 Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 I can see having to maintain contact if you have mutual children but not pets..need to figure out the dog ownership and stop this dog sharing nonsense.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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