Cam21 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I have been with my fiancé for about 3 years now. We just got engaged 3 months ago and we have lived together for 2 years. We just bought our first house last year at this time. Like any couple we have had our fair share of arguments both having our own faults hers being controllive and stubborn and mine with controlling my temper when arguing. Any arguements are always over something stupid but it's part of growing up. Recently we had a big argument last weekend and didn't talk for two days. She had been acting different and I asked her if anything was going on and she said no but something was different. One night I checked her phone because I knew something wasn't right and she had been talking to a guy. When I asked her she was mad I looked on her phone but I told her it was wrong to do that behind my back especially since we are engaged. After that she told me she wanted some space and a breather. I asked her to clarify that but she just says time to hang with friends. She has been texting this guy still but when I confronted her about it she says they are just friends and nothing physical but they have never been friends while we were dating. I told her it doesn't have to be physical to be cheating. He is just a friend of a friend she may have met. She says there is nothing to worry about and she told him she was engaged but I don't know what to believe anymore. It really hurt my feelings because she shouldn't be texting random guys while we were engaged. Now I just haven't been able to fully trust her now and I get red flags when she hops on the phone. It just feels different now and she swears she loves but then said maybe she wasn't ready to be engaged yet she still wears the ring everywhere. But she also says there is nothing to worry about and she tells this person she is engaged but I don't know if I believe that. I haven't felt right since and I feel like this will mess it all up. I love her with all my heart but I just can't tell with her anymore, she hasn't been affectionate like normal, she says my snoring keeps her up so she sleeps in the other room and I just feel the distance with this tension we have already. We still have been doing things together eating dinner, tv, etc but I'm just feeling loss and hurt with nobody to talk to. Iv never talked to anyone behind her back and it hurt me bad when she did that Any advice is appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I would call off the engagement and even risk breaking-up. You know she's not acting in the best interests of a now "engaged woman" she's acting like she's still a single woman. Unless her behavior changes, I wouldn't be walking up the aisle with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seanryder Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I think she's lining up your replacement. Sorry to be so blunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I think she's lining up your replacement. Sorry to be so blunt. I have to agree. This guy ain't her "Friend". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Agree it sounds like she's not ready to be engaged no less get married. How old is she? It would be best to see a doctor about the snoring and get a good physical. Also get a referral to therapy about the anger, temper and controlling issues. Also work on self improvement and building confidence in yourself. Work out, get in shape, get new clothes, a new haircut. Start going out more with friends and family. Develop interests outside the relationship including hobbies, volunteering, joining clubs, groups, etc. Reinvent yourself inside and out. Get out of this rut and roommate-zone by doing the above for yourself as well as going on dates and reintroducing the romance. Do not marry this woman without premarital therapy. It will go over communication, boundaries, fidelity, conflict resolution, sex and affection, in-laws, finances, etc. What are most of your arguments about? Work on these things. Her chatting with guys and your snooping are bad signs that you both need intervention before marrying.We just got engaged 3 months ago and we have lived together for 2 years. mine with controlling my temper when arguing.she hasn't been affectionate like normal, she says my snoring keeps her up so she sleeps in the other room and I just feel the distance with this tension we have already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam21 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 I'm 24 and she is 27. I do go the gym a lot and we have our personal hobbies but the only time I get angered is with her during arguments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.