AS5835 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Me again. I post here a couple days ago. I broke off ties with my ex after I saw him kissing another woman. He had told me" the day I call you a few times and you do not reply I will know you are not interested and I will call one of my raining day ladies". He had all the previous women contact on his phone. He always made me feel insecure. Always acting as if being with me he was doing me a favor. Always acting like there were many women on his feet. I felt a few months into the relationshipthat he was probably using me to figure out his sex issues. He could not perform. I was very patient ( After he started to feel confident on his performance he started flirting around and treating badly. He also told me A woman should not expect her boyfriend or husban to be faithfull. That man gets bored and if someone comes aling and it's intersting that chances are he will cheat. He also told me that at his firehouse inly two man there never cheat no matter what. I figure he was not one of them. I knew that the fireman is a magnet for women, but I did not know how common it is among them to cheat. Anyways, I know this man was bad for me. What I did not know was how hard and painful it is to move on. Everytime I hear the sirens reminds me of him. Everytime a firetruck goes by reminds me of him. All I want is erase him of my life and instead I find myself crying. I keep myself busy. I go to the gym three times per week. I spend lits of time with my son. I work and try to keep me as busy as possible, yet I am loosing sleep. I can get over this bump. It has been 45 days. Thirty days if no contact and it is getting worse. I wish there were a magic pill to take and forget. Anyone have a suggestion? I do not want to feel this hurt anyomre. I know this man is not loosing a minute of his life thinking of me. I know me walking out is what he wanted and why am I having such a hard time forgetting him. Therapy is not helping. Sounds like the players/bad boys are the hardest ones for one to forget and move on. Sos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 This is alone is a huge red flag to run 5835;6783085]He had told me" the day I call you a few times and you do not reply I will know you are not interested and I will call one of my raining day ladies". he was probably using me to figure out his sex issues. He could not perform. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AS5835 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Yes,you are right. He told me this way after he knew I cared for him. Somewhat 8 months into the relationship. Either way I just want to out of this rut I am in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billie28 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I'm confused. I just had a quick look at your previous posts and it seems there were a few and not sure if the posts have all been about this guy or several guys?? So I will just respond to all I know from this one. And that is that you need to get realistic! You are crying over a jerk. Please slap yourself!! The issue here is why you allowed yourself to be treated so poorly by another? Don't you think you deserve better? If not why not? Everytime you hear a fire truck just say to yourself "I hope the hose works" and have a giggle! He had lied to you about everything! He has told you all the men cheat. Well let me tell you I have met some that do and many more that don't. Forget everything this guy has told you. His statistics are fake! Oh and the girl you saw him kissing has now got to deal with his . Be glad it's not you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I wish there was a pill you could take that would make the pain go away, but unfortunately there's no such thing. You are already doing all the things one needs to do to get over a breakup, the rest is just about being patient and letting time do its thing. As the weeks go by, you will find yourself thinking about him less and less, until he won't be more than a bad memory. But I have to say, what an entitled a$$! Yes firefighters as a concept do appeal to a certain category of women, same ones who go ga-ga over club bouncers, guys in bands, police officers etc. Those women who go for certain men only because of their uniforms are not of the highest quality, and if those men go for them then good riddance, do you really need them? However your guy sounds like an especially arrogant, rude, nasty specimen, and you should have laughed in his face and dumped him the second he uttered these words: "A woman should not expect her boyfriend or husban to be faithfull. That man gets bored and if someone comes aling and it's intersting that chances are he will cheat." Never let anyone talk to you this way! You dodged a bullet here, and I'm sure you'll come to realize this soon. Now you can meet a real man, and put this sorry excuse for a man behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 If you don't get involved with that trash in the first place, there would be no 'getting over' or 'moving on'. Use this time to rethink your filters.Sounds like the players/bad boys are the hardest ones for one to forget and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billie28 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I wish there was a pill you could take that would make the pain go away, but unfortunately there's no such thing. You are already doing all the things one needs to do to get over a breakup, the rest is just about being patient and letting time do its thing. As the weeks go by, you will find yourself thinking about him less and less, until he won't be more than a bad memory. But I have to say, what an entitled a$$! Yes firefighters as a concept do appeal to a certain category of women, same ones who go ga-ga over club bouncers, guys in bands, police officers etc. Those women who go for certain men only because of their uniforms are not of the highest quality, and if those men go for them then good riddance, do you really need them? However your guy sounds like an especially arrogant, rude, nasty specimen, and you should have laughed in his face and dumped him the second he uttered these words: "A woman should not expect her boyfriend or husban to be faithfull. That man gets bored and if someone comes aling and it's intersting that chances are he will cheat." Never let anyone talk to you this way! You dodged a bullet here, and I'm sure you'll come to realize this soon. Now you can meet a real man, and put this sorry excuse for a man behind you. The OP went for this kind of man. Are you inferring that she is of poor quality? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Never made it past the first couple sentence's guy sounds like a jerk. At least you know this. Ever breakup is usually hard. You are better off. Just try to keep yourself busy that's what I do. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 The OP went for this kind of man. Are you inferring that she is of poor quality? Lol Not at all, because I highly doubt she went for him just because he was a firefighter. If you read my post carefully, I said "Those women who go for certain men only because of their uniforms are not of the highest quality". I was talking strictly about those women who go after guys in uniforms or guys in bands - a.k.a. they don't care how they are as people, they only care about the uniforms they wear (uniform fetishists). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AS5835 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Billie28 - Yes, I am speaking about the same DB. I recognize my lack if selfesteen and boundaries. That is why I am taking my therapy serioys and looking fir help. I am at fault for hanging on for too long. I know I was stupid, hoping this guy would change and be the person I met and not the jerk he turned out to be. Billie, this man is cruel and mean. He tried many things with the notion that he wanted the best for me and fir my son. I started wuestiining his motives. I pay for private school fir my son. He tried his best to convince me that I am waisting my miney on private school and I should take my son and put in a public school. Public shool in my area are not even decent and when I said no, he told I have rocks in my head. I volunteer at the Police Department once per week. He teied hard to have me quit saying what I do there is BS. I never knew when he was upset at me. He never showed any signs. He would than punish me. He withold sex and he would also would not come to see me when he knew I had the extra free time. My son lives with me so he would come when my son was spending time with my ex husband. If there were extra time he would not show up. He noticed another guy showed interest on me, so he told me" I accept you with a 12 years old child, but most man will not want a woman with a kid". He presents himself very confident, but I feel he also has selfesteem issues. He is for sure a low ego man. High ego man, secure man do not need to put a woman down to feel good. Talking with him about his past ladies, they are all immigrants and single mothers. His so called ex is Puerto Rican. His parents were Italian decendent. I guess he targets vulnerable women. Women that have not had relationships in a while and women he feels he can controle. I bet this man will never attemp a relationship with a high confident woman. He did not like the fact that I do not depend on a man financially. He kept saying over and over how come I am so good at my job and how well I am financially. He even tried to get me to quit my job and take a job paying half of what I make, saying my job has no status. I am a personal chef. I love what I do. Would not change my career unless for a major reason. When he realized it was not easy to convince me to do what he wanted, he would hurt me with words, but always playing the role that he was doing or saying for my best interest. I know I am weak when comes to my emotional side, but my financial life, my work and my son, no one will mess with. I put my foot down when comes to that. My emotional you are right. I need to step up my boundaries. It is sad. Wiseman2. - He was a entire different man when we met. That is how I end up so emotionally invested. He gave all the attention and was a real gentleman at first. I do not believe women fall in love for a guy that shows right up that he is a total jerk. He is a player. I did not recognize. My mistake. Greta96 - I did not choose this man because he is a Fireman. I have never dated cops or Fireman before. I dated him because he was attractive, handsome, sweet, attentive, and pretended well that he cared about me for a while. When he started showing his true colors I was deep in the mud aldeady. My ex husband is a school teacher. We were married for many years. I knew we were loosing the sparkle and we had a mutual break up. He is a good man and we do not say negative things about each other. There were ups and downs, but a decent man for sure. Mat3939- Thank you. I believe this man needed to figure out what was wrong with his firehose. Suposedly his ex did not want him. They separated and I bet is because he could not perform. I guess I was used to test drive the Extenze. Anyways, this a huge painful but learning experience. I will keep my eyes and ears open for the huge red flags next time and not be another man's doormat. Thank you all for the replies and the support. I do need and so so appreciate. Reading your comments I feel better aldeady. Oh, and comment about the firehose got me laughing hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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