Exs trying to contact again

[Rising100]

Im really tired of this but I have to ask, I went no contact with the ex I ended things with months ago and I blocked... keeps contacting me, calling, texting.

Also another ex from years ago appeared, she found out my address and number and she keeps blowing up my phone daily.

I made it very clear to both of them I didnt want anything, I was very nice and tried to leave things in good terms. However now I think that might have been wrong.

What drives a woman to keep contacting someone who doesnt want anything, who doesnt listen?

 

Should I have done something bad, like cheated or gotten back at them so they would hate me and not contact me anymore?

[Wiseman2]

They hope to wear you down so that eventually you "see the light" and reconsider. All you can do is 'no thanks, take care' and then block and delete from all devices and social media.

[ParisPaulette]

I would suspect both these women had some sort of instability emotionally in the first place, hence being an ex. Because normal sane people don't continue to try contacting someone who had told them to leave them alone and who never responds. You may want to look into techniques for getting a separate phone or email, one you have only trusted family and friends and your job on, and then let them email or call you all they want on the other line thinking they are still "reaching you" while not giving either a reason to now have to try and find a new number or email on you.

 

So what you do if you haven't already done so is a) send each a text/email (make sure it's not something either of them didn't have until you do that) telling them to stop contact, that you do not want either of them in your life period, end of story. Keep that as proof you told them to leave you alone. b) after that do not respond to anything they say or do with anything, but a restraining order if they escalate to showing up at your place, making threats, or doing any of the things that would constitute having to get a restraining order. Also make sure you keep copies of contact, even if it's just sending their emails or texts to a folder you never look at. It will help build a case showing they were contacting you after you told them not to do so. Check the laws in your area for what would constitute being able of file such IF it's needed.

 

If it's just trying to contact you, but nothing else then treat each like those stupid telemarketing scam companies that offer debt resolution or solar energy panels, keep adding their contacts to your blocked lists, and move forward with your life. And you refuse to have any contact or respond in any way with either of them from here on it, because if you do respond you've just taught them that if they call you 600 times and then you pick up they just have to redouble their efforts to get to 601 times positive you'll respond. Don't do it.

 

Alert friends and family not to talk to either of these two women or give them any information and to keep records to add to any case you have to take out against them IF they have or go to the point of contacting them. Otherwise do what I do with an ex who does that to me periodically trying to reach me from a new number or email and just add it to your blocked list. And move on. In his case he has never made a move to have to come all the way across the country to get at me and he knows better than to contact any of my family or friends, so I just ignore him.

 

No, you should not have cheated or mistreated either woman. Hate can actually fuel and/or send someone who isn't stable over the edge into full blown fatal attraction stalker mode far more than love can. They aren't contacting you because you were a good guy. In the end it's not even really about you, it's about their need for control or something that is out of your hands. Sorry you're going through with it, it sucks I know.