coffee66 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 hello everyone,im new here so excuse me if i posted this in the wrong section im having some problems lately with my 10 month old relationship i've been dating a shy beautiful and loving girlfriend so far,it's been going great,i mean we were fighting every once in a while but even during the fight we both knew that we're gonna fix this soon until lately,we've talked about those kissing scenes (she's on a dramatic school,or at least i believe that's how its called)and she was trying to convice me about this i honestly want her to follow any career she wants,but this....this is a problem,it's not about lack of trust or anything,i just cant be with her knowing that something like this will happen it ruins my nights just thinking about it,im getting sad and angry at the same time just thinking about it,i even felt something like hate for her,even thinking about it,it's crazy so i've been trying to find solutions so both sides can be happy,but i couldnt i know you might be calling me selfish or whatever,but this is a huge problem for me,i've been trying to convice myself that its ok but it's not i was thinking of breaking up with her now that's it early so i wont make it hard for her in the future where we'll be more connected and it might be harder for her (she's very sensitive) i believe that's the right thing to do instead of forcing her not to take scenes like that any idea/advice will be highly appreciated Link to comment
gebaird Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I agree ending it now would be better than forcing her not to take scenes like that. Manipulative and coercive behavior is never justified, no matter the motivation. However, ending it isn't the only option. You could try to work through your issues with it. I think anyone would be uncomfortable with this kind of thing -- that's why most people don't date actresses. But since your in this position already, perhaps therapy could help you understand what is causing the jealousy to come up so violently. It's not so much about who she kisses on set, but who she comes home to at the end of the day. Link to comment
Dahl Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 How old are you both? I'm with gebaird. Particularly as an actor will experience a number of intimate exchanges in pursuit of their craft and those scenes will go a lot deeper than kissing. Please don't let your personal hang ups and insecurities bully her from pursuing her career passion. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Unfortunately, breaking up with her is the best option in you situation. You realized what you can not accept and it's a deal breaker. No point in dragging it on knowing that you couldn't accept those kissing scenes. The relationship is just going to end up in a downward spiral because you will just keep fighting about that subject over and over again. That's why it's called "dating" to get to know one another and see what's a deal breaker. Link to comment
greta96 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 You're right, the only course of action that makes sense for both of you is to break up now, because you two are fundamentally incompatible. It wouldn't be fair of you to expect her not to pursue her career, if acting is her passion and that's what she wants to do, and it wouldn't be fair to you to stay in a relationship where you're not ok with your partner's job. Acting comes with kissing co-stars, that's a given. Even if she wanted, she wouldn't be able to refuse doing certain scenes, or she wouldn't be given parts. She would have to choose between pleasing you and pleasing herself by fulfilling her dream and doing what she wants to do professionally, and that's just not a fair choice to her. She needs to be with someone who can understand and accept everything that her job entitles, and you're not it. That's why most actors marry other actors, because they can understand each other. And you need to be with someone who has a regular job that doesn't involve kissing others. I'd say let her go, it's definitely the best thing to do in your situation. Link to comment
sotiredofit Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Yeah, I would never let a guy's insecurity hold me back from my dream. You're being insecure and immature. Either work on that in therapy, or be prepared to lose her should you choose to try to influence her because you can't handle stuff she has to do for her job. I'm an actress, btw. It's part of your job. She's not gonna go anywhere with it, if she tells directors she refuses to do kissing. Link to comment
coffee66 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 How old are you both? I'm with gebaird. Particularly as an actor will experience a number of intimate exchanges in pursuit of their craft and those scenes will go a lot deeper than kissing. Please don't let your personal hang ups and insecurities bully her from pursuing her career passion. im 22 she is 20 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 You can't stop her from doing her job/schooling and all that it entails. You are incompatible because of your opinion and issues with this. End it before it gets ugly.we've talked about those kissing scenes.,i just cant be with her knowing that something like this will happen. it ruins my nights just thinking about it,im getting sad and angry at the same time just thinking about it,i even felt something like hate for her,even thinking about it,it's crazy Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 He's stupid Who's stupid? I think it's only going to get worse when she moves onto love scenes. If you can't handle kissing, it's only going to get worse. Link to comment
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