I lost my best friend

[ConfusedHere1]

5 (?) years of friendship down the drain. I only just expressed the depth of my feeling toward him when he gets a new girlfriend.

 

He called me yesterday out of what was probably obligation. He doesn't miss me. If he did, he would have made time to call me sooner. We hadn't spoken in 3 weeks.

 

He kept trying to soften the blow. That he wasn't sure if he should have gotten into a relationship so quickly, because apparently the new girl is really needy with his attention and they have been having stupid fights about space and whatnot.

 

Whatever.

 

I'd be more inclined to believe you if I didn't see you post something on Facebook and tag "Katie" in it that basically says you two are happy together. And if you hadn't told me that you met her family already?!

 

He said he missed me multiple times and it was good to hear from me and he knows I have been going through some things lately and he wanted to hop on a plane and fly here to see me but it probably wasn't a good idea.

 

He said if it weren't for me, he would have killed himself years ago.

 

I couldn't talk. I said we probably shouldn't talk anymore; that it would be weird for all parties involved.

 

He kept trying to keep me on the phone by telling me stuff.

 

He asked if I would keep his phone number, or if I wanted him to message me or let me message him first if I wanted to talk.

 

Stop.

 

Just stop.

 

I had to unfriend him on Facebook. I couldn't stand to see them together.

 

I deleted his phone number. Again.

 

I don't know if we will ever talk again, and it scares me.

 

He was the only person in the world I cared about. The only one I could talk to about anything.

 

What am I going to do without him?

 

I want to die.

[Wiseman2]

Now that he's in a relationship, he may not want that much contact.

[greta96]

This is what usually happens when people stay in each other's lives under the pretense of friendship, when the reality is that they want much more than that. Eventually the party that doesn't feel romantically towards the other gets into relationships/gets married, cuts contact for obvious reasons, and hearts get broken.

 

You clearly have feelings for this guy, other than platonic friendship. So, since he doesn't feel the same way, it's best for you to cut ties, at least until you find yourself in a relationship of your own, and over the feelings you have for this guy.

 

You will live without him, it's just a matter of getting used to not having him in your life. It is painfully obvious that you'd been relying too heavily on him, while he went on living his life, meeting people and now started a relationship. You must learn that the only person you can rely on 100% is yourself, nobody can be there for you 24/7. You need to make yourself happy, and not depend on anyone else for it.

 

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because now you can leave this "friendship" aside and focus on you. You may talk to him again, you may not. And once you're happy with your life without him in it, it won't even matter.

[Badboi629]

life is so strange we always gave importance to our spouses, relationship partners but never to the friends who stand beside us help us and cry with us during difficult time, they are the one who always wants us to be happy and protected and taken advantage of, i don't care if I'm in a relationship or marriage I'm always going to be there for my friends and even have our own occassional boys night out, hit the bars the sports stadium, hit the casino's, you cannot disown your own friends because of a lady or a dude, friendship is actually real love, because with our friends we laugh get drunk with and do stupid but fun things that we would never do with someone else....

 

 

anyways i had a friend like that when he was single he was always down to chill and hang out but the minute he would get a girlfriend he would MIA, but than i went MIA forever so let him be with her you don't need friends like that plenty of good friends out there waiting to meet you = awww friendship rules

[Badboi629]

i did say friendship is real love, so doing all those things with him you might have fallen in love with him - Damn

[Andrina]

Extremely close male/female friendships are common when young, but rarely remain that close throughout a lifetime. The dynamic is different in male/female friendships, and when a person enters into a romance with someone, their partner won't usually like it that their bf/gf is in an intense friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Casual friends are different, but pouring a lot of emotional energy, time, and regular communication and outings that a best friendship involves, isn't very healthy for the primary couple. I know I'd never date a guy who had a female best friend.

 

Change is hard, but just realizing friendships evolve, change, grow, end, and is a normal part of life. You can't even predict if a same sex friendship will last a lifetime because life is complicated and sometimes people move away or they get caught up in other priorities. Time to move on. New adventures await you. It's okay to mourn the end of the friendship for a little while, but don't become bitter and end up with a negative attitude for too long. It'll distort your expression and keep people away. Take care.