Kim87 Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Well 7 days ago I lost the love of my life on my 30th birthday because he has had enough of my drinking. He told me so many times to get help and I didn't. Him leaving has given me the wake up call I need to stop drinking and get help. I just want him back and I don't know what to do? I haven't seen him since.He said he wants space and time to think ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billie28 Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 You have a choice to make. Him or alcohol. How much do you drink? Is it about how much or how often or how you behave when drinking?? If he needs space,you need to give it? Have you changed anything yet? It will take a long time for you to convince him of changed habits. I'm guessing at least 3 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim87 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 I have chosen him not alcohol, but I've only done this after he's left me. He gave me plenty of chances and said its me or the wine. It's about how I behave when I'm drinking, I'm a horrible drunk. I'm so scared that I have pushed him away forever. I asked him for time to prove to him that he means more to me than wine and he said he will see how I go in a few weeks. Im so confused. We had a great relationship the only thing we fought about was my drinking. 😞 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 He said he wants space and time to think ? Respect his wishes and give him all the time he needs/wants. In the meantime, get help for your drinking problem ad sort yourself out as you'll carry this with you into all future relationships which will more likely than not, end badly for you every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRawTruth Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I'm just curious: Did you think he was lying when he said he wasn't gonna deal with your drinking? Nobody wants to feel like their feelings or words aren't taken seriously by the person they love that's supposed to love them BACK. By your own admission, he gave you multiple chances to shape up and you didn't. That tells me (AND him) that you pretty much blew him off, until you lost him. Now all of a sudden you wanna quit. How do you think that makes him feel? "Why couldn't you stop BEFORE I broke up with you?" is probably what he's wondering. All you can do now is tell him you UNDERSTAND why he left, and give him his space. Him saying "we'll see how things go" is a sign that you still have a TINY bit of a chance, so DON'T BLOW IT! Stop drinking RIGHT NOW. If you can't, get HELP for it. But do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get a handle on your drinking if he really means that much to you. If he sees you changing, he MIGHT give you another shot. Don't make him regret it by slipping back into old habits just because he came back though. That's the ULTIMATE sign of disrespect and taking someone for granted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 If you respect him and want him back leave him alone and clean yourself up. Maybe down the line if it's meant to be your paths will cross again. Calling him now will only push him further away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJJ64 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Dear Kim, The very same thing happened in my relationship Thanksgiving weekend. I've known all my adult life I had a problem, but refused to admit I was an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic! Once I became clear headed I called a friend who I knew was in a recovery program and I asked him if I could join him. By God's grace, the fellowship of this recovery program, and the steps I work, I have not had alcohol since November 26, 2016. I have not seen my boyfriend since that horrible weekend in November. He may be there for me when I feel I'm solid in my recovery, or he may not be there. I will be ok either way. As deeply as it has hurt not to be with him, I have got to take care of me right now. We talk occasionally and he has told me he is not closed the door. I try to limit conversations with him and focus only on me. It's not easy, but the good news is I feel wonderful and I have made new friends. The shame is slowly starting to leave and my self-love is starting to return. I praise God for this. I know you are hurting too, but there is a solution! If you want it, you can have it! I see my boyfriend's ultimatum as a true gift to me. He may have been put in my life simply to make me see that I truly am in alcoholic. Take care and I will be praying for you! Emily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liraele Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 If you respect him and want him back leave him alone and clean yourself up. Maybe down the line if it's meant to be your paths will cross again. Calling him now will only push him further away. ^^^ This. And, more importantly, do it for yourself. You may already be too late to salvage the relationship, but you can turn your behavior around for your own benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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