She cancelled our date and I had no time to make other plans

[KMO7970]

I feel so foolish after reading this. How did I become that guy who always buys food for strangers once I meet them off a dating site?

 

Don't feel foolish; it's very kind of you but, as you can see, can also screw you over. I know women who are in the whole online dating thing for a free dinner every now and then, too. Sad but true.

[ParisPaulette]

That used to be the backup plan but my friends are all married with kids now or living in another state.

 

Then it's time to get new backup plans, even if it's just, "If this falls through I am going to do a Netflix run or go see that new movie or try that new bar across town..." kind of a deal. You might meet someone or make a new friend while you're out there too, which is always good.

 

My female friend always tells me that no grown women wants to get dress and make herself all sexy just to meet at a cafe for coffee. lol

 

This not true. If I was interested in a fellow I'd make sure I looked good for coffee, which was my preferred first date. I didn't want someone spending big bucks on me or vice versa when we might end up hating each other or just "Well, that was a waste of time." And a lot of women prefer that for a number of reasons. It's low pressure, it's inexpensive, its' safe in the middle of the day, people are more themselves in a casual setting many times.

 

My first date with my husband, who I asked out for coffee, I made sure I looked good. True I wasn't wearing a slinky dress and heels, but I still made sure I looked effortlessly gorgeous in blue jeans and top I knew brought out the color of my eyes. You do not want to hear how long it too me to do my hair and makeup for that date either, but yeah I made a serious effort. He was a catch and I knew it. And I caught him.

 

Also I like getting dressed up even for the most casual of things. Granted my definition of dressed up is dark jeans and high-heeled boots, but still...coffee dates are good. They're cheap, they're casual, a fellow doesn't have to lay out major funds just to have a girl do one date then it fizzles. Besides, it's coffee and scones or whatever, which is always good. I highly recommend that. Romantic all out dates are for after you've established fully that oh yes, this one is worth pulling out all the stops for.

[sd95]

Don't feel foolish; it's very kind of you but, as you can see, can also screw you over. I know women who are in the whole online dating thing for a free dinner every now and then, too. Sad but true.

 

Which is why that girl probably shot down my cafe suggestion.

[KMO7970]

Then you don't want her anyway!

[Batya33]

I dont like the bar atmosphere since it's too loud and I wouldn't be able to hear what my date is saying. I prefer a more calm atmosphere when meeting someone

 

Many options other than a bar. Think outside the box -the pity party mindset impedes that.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. Hope next week goes better. Send a confirm text that day/or day before with confirmed plans..

 

Standing up last minute = dump and block.

The girl I was scheduled to meet today cancelled on meet through text last night. I suggested we meet at a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, pizza, and salads which was right across from a park but she shot down my suggestion and didn't offer any

[notalady]

Many options other than a bar. Think outside the box -the pity party mindset impedes that.

 

Yes. OP your posts are often about how unfair and sh**ty some things are, and like you're the victim of the situation. Perhaps time to change your mindset a little and think "oh well, stuff like that happens, no point letting it ruin my day, if anything, I'm going to go on and have an even more fantastic time without these things / people!"

 

Also, majority of my online first meets used to be lunch on week day or weekend (so still a meal but just a light meal like a sandwich or sharing a pizza or something), or a dessert/chocolate bar, or a tea house (share a nice pot of tea), the only requirement for me is that the setting is pleasant and good for having a chat one on one. Sometimes a drink after work, if all goes well it might become dinner. Very rarely did I do dinner for a first date though, at least not scheduling for that initially.

 

I always dress nicely but appropriate for whatever the setting the meet is to take place. So obviously dress more casually if it's a day time date, casual can still look very nice. So what your female friend said doesn't make any sense. The women you're meeting should have enough sense to dress for the occasion.

[sd95]

Yes. OP your posts are often about how unfair and sh**ty some things are, and like you're the victim of the situation. Perhaps time to change your mindset a little and think "oh well, stuff like that happens, no point letting it ruin my day, if anything, I'm going to go on and have an even more fantastic time without these things / people!"

 

Also, majority of my online first meets used to be lunch on week day or weekend (so still a meal but just a light meal like a sandwich or sharing a pizza or something), or a dessert/chocolate bar. Sometimes a drink after work, if all goes well it might become dinner. Very rarely did I do dinner for a first date though, at least not scheduling for that initially.

 

I always dress nicely but appropriate for whatever the setting the meet is to take place. So obviously dress more casually if it's a day time date, casual can still look very nice. So what your female friend said doesn't make any sense. The women you're meeting should have enough sense to dress for the occasion.

 

 

No my friend's mindset was since she has on heels it's no need for her to be inside a cafe lol

[notalady]

No my friend's mindset was since she has on heels it's no need for her to be inside a cafe lol

 

Well she only represent one woman. And sounds like a bit of a high maintenance one at that. If that's the kind of woman you're looking for then by all means take that advice lol

[sd95]

Well she only represent one woman. And sounds like a bit of a high maintenance one at that. If that's the kind of woman you're looking for then by all means take that advice lol

 

Oh no, not me lol

[catfeeder]

If it's someone I've never even met, I wouldn't plan a full date with them in the first place. I'd schedule a quick-meet over coffee to check one another out. This is common on dating apps. Rules are that neither can ask the other for a real date on the spot, but either can contact with an invite afterward. If the answer is yes, the other responds, and if it's no, then no response is necessary.

 

This takes squirmy rejection stuff off the table, and it doesn't obligate you to spend time and expense of full dates with people who've turned you off in 5 minutes. You can schedule quick meets between classes or after work, so your prime time is reserved for friends or family or dates with people you really like.

 

Even when you like someone who accepts a real date, I'd always make a Plan B until she've proven to not be a flake. On a scale of 1-10, set your trust meter at a neutral 5 and allow people to earn your trust over time.