Always such mixed emotions

[Ihaatemyself]

Is it possible to be greatly influenced by the emotions of others?

 

I have posted about my ridiculous situation previously, not much has changed. He still wont talk to me properly and i have a feeling that its because he thinks if he distances himself from me it will push me back towards my husband and he wont feel so bad that things are not good between us, i have now found myself unhappy in my relationship and distanced by my affair. I know, my own doing and karma is coming in to deal with things.

 

Oddly though yesterday, after pretty much no intimacy between us, my affair and I made love. Not the hard sex it has been since Christmas, he held my hair and kissed me softly and made love to me? I went with it and thoroughly enjoyed it but it has left me even more confused than I was before.

 

I had decided that things were just not as they had been, nor were they going to return. I couldnt be the heavy going lover who applies pressure so id left him to it if that was how he wanted it to be.

 

I feel i have no grounds for fighting as i will never live up to his wife. I am in a very confused state about it all and what he is playing at really. Today he cut me off on the phone, we were discussing business not pleasure to take a call from him wife.

 

I feel rubbish now.

 

We have a works night out tomorrow and I am deeply worried about the truths he might tell me after a few glasses.

 

I wish i knew what was going on either way. I have given the opportunity to end it but he says thats not what he wants.

 

AHH!

[Wiseman2]

Don't both of you have to take calls from your spouses?

he thinks if he distances himself from me it will push me back towards my husband .Oddly though yesterday, after pretty much no intimacy between us, my affair and I made love. I feel i have no grounds for fighting as i will never live up to his wife.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I read through your previous posts and it really sounds like you are being used.

 

I'm not here to judge affairs, I guess sometimes people want to use each other. That happens.

 

But it seems very clear that you want more, whereas he wants you to be available.

 

It's really time to walk away.

[yatsue]

Umm...yeah no one on here is going to give you advice on how to cheat better on your respective partners. Do the right thing. Be straight up. Let your husband know of what you do behind closed doors with another man and let him have the chance to make a decision on how to proceed with your relationship. The affair guy is no good.

[j.man]

Man that sounds awful. Wishing you the best in your lies and deceit working out for you.