help im so confused.

[Knight2001]

hi,

i've posted on here before about my toxic relationship.

im in the middle of a break up, well i dont know if i am or not to be honest.

me and my partner work 350 miles apart. we see each other every other weekend we have seperate houses and after 8 yrs together she is now getting a divorce from her estranged (10 yrs) husband. i used to think the world of her and i never believed that could change. however since christmas we have never stopped arguing (we have always argued a lot) i think in the past 2 months i've seen her about 3 times.

this has been going on for weeks now. she said she wanted a break (unkown duration) from me. i said i did not want a break. however when she insisted i told her she had to get all her stuff away from my house as i dont believe in breaks i think we should have been able to work things through together.

the arguments are about more or less the same thing all the time - she says i have my priorities all wrong as i help my 80yr old mother (garden, give her a lift to church) and i also have 2 daughters who come visit me/us on a saturday evening and she has hinted they should not come so we can spend time together. to be honest i think it's her priorities that are wrong because she only seems concerned about herself WRT our relationship, not thinking about what i want.

now, i dont know if it's because i have put my foot down she is saying i am cruel by doing this and not contacting her.

am i being cruel ? she wanted the break, she has got what she wanted.

i am sick to the back teeth of arguing with her. it's just one thing after another. but am i really being cruel ? it's so sad because i did lover her so much.

[vesper]

hi,

only seems concerned about herself WRT our relationship, not thinking about what i want.

now, i dont know if it's because i have put my foot down she is saying i am cruel by doing this and not contacting her.

am i being cruel ? she wanted the break, she has got what she wanted.

i am sick to the back teeth of arguing with her. it's just one thing after another. but am i really being cruel ? it's so sad because i did lover her so much.

 

What is WRT mean

[Betterwithout]

she said she wanted a break (unkown duration)

 

From where I sit, the words above mean "breakup", as in "I am moving on and don't care to see you anymore".

Be thankful that you maintained separate houses, so it's an easy "break" and doesn't involve legal stuff.

 

No contact is just what you both need so stick to it.

I'm sorry that the person you loved for 8 years is no longer, but it looks like you both aren't doing each other any favors trying to "fight" for your relationship.

 

This is a long time to be with someone, so I suggest counselling so you can heal well from the ordeal.

 

Best of luck.

[Knight2001]

WRT = with regards to

[Wiseman2]

Sorry but there are some red flags here with more emerging. She just now is in the throes of divorce so that will mess with her.

 

Then it's an LDR, right? Then all the arguing for months on end with no resolution. You are right, breaks are limbo-crap so it's either work on it or end it. Yes, go no contact. Don't hold her hand or be the whipping boy through her nasty divorce. Therapists are for that,

 

However this alone would be a deal-breaker for most 6776351] i also have 2 daughters who come visit me/us on a saturday evening and she has hinted they should not come so we can spend time together.