Can't listen to songs or watch movies anymore

[Whatcanyoudo]

As the title says I can't bare to watch movies or listen to songs that remind me of my ex. For example, I really want to watch Danish girl but a month before we broke up my ex went to see it with her friends so I can't bring myself to watch it. It's not just that anything with a love theme, I find painful to watch.

 

Listening to music that reminds me of her hurts. This also includes songs we've never shared- just the lyrics of the songs are enough to remind of her or I think she'd love this song.

 

But the thing is we broke up 8 months ago now and I still haven't got over it. Surely I should have got over it by now?

[Wiseman2]

Try to rewrite your memory book. Start getting on dating apps and meeting women. Star dating, laughing, having fun living life again. Soon a song will be a just a song and a move will be just a film.

[Bob2526]

Wiseman is very wise and always gives good advice. Always appreciate your posts. I also had issues with this. It's been three months since my break up and I can't find myself to watch the same shows we used to watch together. There are movies she has seen that I wanted to watch as well but still haven't gotten around to it. My friends and family tell me that's strange but I don't think it is. I have been watching other new movies and new shows I never thought I'd watch and I actually enjoy them. I'm actually coming around to finally start watching my old shows. I still have a Birthday present she bought me that I have yet to use and my friends also think that's strange.

 

Just wanted to ask if you are still in contact with her or follow her social media?

[johnnydanger]

I had similar issues with certain music in the past. I overcame it by just trying to think of other positive things, and not focusing on my issue but trying to visualize the artist or the message without making it about me. Try it, it's not that hard.

[jstudio]

That has been one of the major hurdles for me, especially because I am an avid movie buff. I find myself getting completely annoyed by romantic comedies to the point where I get upset. It's weird. We get these random triggers, and I have faith that it will go away. I hope so.

[Matt3939]

This is the exact reason you shouldn't get mad at watching a crappy movie or show your partner wants to watch. If you break up there's no way you are going to watch it. Eample sex in the city urg!

[Waraqqa]

It's been months since my break up, but I still experience the same. I almost stopped enjoying music, actually.

Same with movies or anything slightly romantic. It just reminds me how awesome our beginning was, how we were getting close, all our dates, when I meant so much to him and he was into me.

 

Can't even watch John Oliver, b/c he likes him.

[LondonMan33]

It's been months since my break up, but I still experience the same. I almost stopped enjoying music, actually.

Same with movies or anything slightly romantic. It just reminds me how awesome our beginning was, how we were getting close, all our dates, when I meant so much to him and he was into me.

 

Can't even watch John Oliver, b/c he likes him.

 

 

 

Its amazing how in everyday life a song is just a song you either like or dont like and maybe tap your feet or hands too,then the day comes your heart is broken and with some songs every word that is sung means so much its scary . Its like these words are all about me and how I am feeling right now and what went wrong between us etc . I know exactly what the OP Means, we all go through this. I am now,

[ShatteredMan]

This will go away in time. I had an issue with one or two songs that would come on the radio and trigger an anxiety attack. The funny thing was, I didn't even like the songs to begin with.

 

If you're into rock, start listening to instrumental music without vocals. I revisited my old Joe Satriani albums, for example.

 

Along with dumping most of my social media outlets, I started listening all new artists and actually I started liking jazz. This is a big step from a guy who lived in the worlds of blues/classic rock/metal since I was a kid. Its not for everyone, but nobody's singing on most of Miles Davis' and John Coltrane's albums....maybe that's the key?

 

Fast forward six months later, I heard someone doing one of the songs at a bar that once triggered my emotional breakdowns. I was fine.

[Whatcanyoudo]

The song closer by chainsmokers came out a week after we broke up. And I find it painful to listen to because it's the kinda song I imagined we'd both enjoy and it could have well have become our song. Anyway my younger brother plays it all the time and it hurts, I feel like removing it off his phone. But for a while the song was everywhere. It sucks that I can't enjoy the song when it's my kinda song and very catchy.

 

As for rom coms, I now detest movies where the guy gets the girl back in the end cos it never really happens in real life. If only it was that easy.

[Whatcanyoudo]

Try to rewrite your memory book. Start getting on dating apps and meeting women. Star dating, laughing, having fun living life again. Soon a song will be a just a song and a move will be just a film.

 

I think my loneliness is what makes me miss her the most. I'm a very reserved person and have suffered from social anxiety all my life , making me withdrawn and socially awkward. She was patient with me and understood me. It's almost impossible to find another girl like that. I got lucky with her. I'm too shy to approach girls etc.