Carlosluca Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 This is the closure I got from my last post, cut along story short I split up with my partner 2 months ago I really hurt him in a way that I'll never understand, after a few weeks I tried to get back together and he was having none of it! Told me to move on and leave me alone but since me leaving him alone he dropped me a few messages giving me a little bit of hope. Anyway I finally asked him to call me last night as I needed some closure on the relationship as I've really hit rock bottom over our split and needed some help and support, because every time I text him I get no rely, well when I came off the phone to him I was shattered into a million pieces!! I poured my heart out to him told him how sorry I was for hurting him and what a horrible person I am to do that to someone, he was still saying the say story he wants to move on and forget about us, but apparently me ending the relationship isn't his problem anymore it's my personality!! I do tend to over react to things and because I was stupid to react to certain things while we was split up that is now his reason why he would never get back with me. He told me he doesn't like me as a person doesn't love me anymore and he's realised he never was happy in our relationship and now he wants someone better! He said a little part of him wants to try cos we had some good times but he can't forget the past and how much hurt I caused him, he said he doesn't want to hear from me cos it brings him down and he's happy now then what he was been together, so he said the only time we could get back together would be years down the line when he's over the hurt. I feel that numb I don't know what to think over that phone call and how someone can stop loving someone after 2 months?? Will he forget the past and maybe try if I give him some space?? Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 No idea what happened but it does sound like it was an absolute deal breaker for him. I'd get the hint and move on also. Sometimes things cannot be forgiven I've had some of these circumstances. I'm sure it still hurts him but we all have our things. Good luck Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Sorry to hear this but that's why no contact is best. This type of post-breakup contact for "closure" usually goes poorly and ends up with more pain and beating each other up with hurt and blame. Just don't do it. I finally asked him to call me last night as I needed some closure on the relationship when I came off the phone to him I was shattered into a million pieces!! he wants to move on and forget about us, but apparently me ending the relationship isn't his problem anymore it's my personality!! He told me he doesn't like me as a person doesn't love me anymore and he's realised he never was happy in our relationship and now he wants someone better! Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Will he forget the past and maybe try if I give him some space?? - Maybe.. after years of space.. he said the only time we could get back together would be years down the line when he's over the hurt So... now YOU have to look into what alll caused this BU. Obviously it sounds like you did some wrong towards him? Underlying reason's on why? This, YOU need to work out. You hurt himm he says. Are YOU aware of this? Are you aware of what he is talking about?? Then YOU now have to work on accepting what is.... and take a good amount of time figuring out how to work on these causes... reason's for your actions/behaviour towards your partner.. you had. No- a matter of 'weeks' is not any time to have 'fixed' anything that caused this BU. Could take months and months.+. so, respectfully back away now.. leave him be to continue on his way to heal from all of this. And start worrying about YOU. Do you need some prof help? Therapy? Link to comment
holistic17 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I'm sorry to hear you are hurting. But you need to listen to what he told you and leave him be. Don't be that needy and desperate woman who messed up and now can't bear to be without that person. I'm not sure what happened for you to break up, but it must have been very hurtful for him. You must respect his decision. I think your focus right now should be why you hurt him in the first place. You also said you'll never understand the way you hurt him.....why not? Perhaps this is your lesson in this whole situation. Learn why you behaved that way. A post break up call is never usually a good idea as you have false hope. But this is definitely your closure and he was honest, although rather harsh, about how he feels. You need time to reflect quietly and then move on with your own life. Link to comment
Carlosluca Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 I'm sorry to hear you are hurting. But you need to listen to what he told you and leave him be. Don't be that needy and desperate woman who messed up and now can't bear to be without that person. I'm not sure what happened for you to break up, but it must have been very hurtful for him. You must respect his decision. I think your focus right now should be why you hurt him in the first place. You also said you'll never understand the way you hurt him.....why not? Perhaps this is your lesson in this whole situation. Learn why you behaved that way. A post break up call is never usually a good idea as you have false hope. But this is definitely your closure and he was honest, although rather harsh, about how he feels. You need time to reflect quietly and then move on with your own life. Thank you for your good advice, I really want to leave him be but it's so hard! Sometimes I text him and feel like I'm getting somewhere, I can't let go of hope thinking time and space will make him miss and want us but he says he's happy when he doesn't hear from me and it's best for him with no contact. Do you think I'm holding on to nothing? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Try to take his word for it and don't do this to yourself. Let go. he says he's happy when he doesn't hear from me and it's best for him with no contact. Do you think I'm holding on to nothing? ] Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 What was your reason for breaking up with him in the first place? Link to comment
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