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What have you done to get over someone?


heartacher

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When you've had your heartbroken, you feel like you can't move on and that the ache in your chest will never go away what are the tips,tricks and activities that helped you get on with it?

I know time and being around family and friends helps but I'm looking more for actual physical things that have helped?

Example: sometimes going on a really long walk with music helps me

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I recommend Conscious Uncoupling program by Katherine Woodward Thomas to all my friends, and people I know. I know she later wrote a book, and I can only speak for the tape. Five stars is not enough. For me it was life saving. When you have a deep wound filled with pus, a plaster - as you call "tips and tricks" - will only help dress it, distracting you from its horrible sight. You need to address the cause, and drain the pus (anger, resentment, sadness etc.), cleanse and stitch the wound. And to learn not to fall like that next time.

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What helped me following a heartbreak was "changing the channel". When you begin to think of your ex, switch to something else. Think about anything. This will train your mind so that you don't think of them as much. It certainly helped.

 

Good luck.

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Drink heavily and start smoking again...sigh. Well, that was the big one (12 year marriage). After the last relationship (5 years), I took a healthier approach. I fell into a wonderful routine of going to work, coming home and cooking something new/interesting for myself, while binge watching Netflix (TV in the kitchen) and well, still drinking, but reasonable while I enjoyed myself...lol. On the weekends, if I had my kids, I would plan fun events to take them on. If I didn't have my kids, that's when things would get tricky. I found myself not wanting to leave the house. I had to force myself to go to a coffee shop and just sit and enjoy the environment or drive to the artsy shops area of my city and wander a bit. Wasn't always successful, but kept at it.

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When I broke up with my ex 6 months ago I started running to "get away from myself" I could only do it with pumping dance music that didn't remind me of him!!

But it was good for me because it gave me something to focus on, when I didn't know what to do with myself I just got out there.

I ended up running a half marathon and I can honestly say it really helped.

In fact I should follow my own advice and get back out there! X

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I think just staying busy is key. With work, school, friends, a hobby- submerge yourself into something- anything that brings you some kind of happiness. It's part distraction but also doing these things boost your mood. I've always tried to watch comedies, things that made me laugh, laughing is great- even if its at something dumb like that old Eddie Murphy movie you've see a hundred times that always seems to make you chuckle. Also sunshine, as silly as it is. Being in the sun helped me. Can be hard in the Winter lol but open the curtains, go for a walk, if its warm out sit on the beach (with sunscreen- gotta be safe!) and take in the vitamin D!

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What I noticed has helped me in the past when I actually implement it. Is taking long drives in my car, running, and helping family members. Getting out of self and into others is always a good thing. I find that when I do not do those things and I let my thoughts and sadness get the best of me, I fall in a rut and my heart feels broken all over again. Lately, watching motivational videos on you tube along with the things I mentioned have been helping me these past few days. I also changed up my things in my home, new sheets, organizing, etc. I also have been practicing self mantras lately such as saying to myself and believing "I'm am worthy"

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Moved 450 miles away so it would be impossible to drive by his house on the way to or from work.

 

Changed my number so his new girlfriend couldn't text me pretending to be him.

 

Made new friends and started going places with them.

 

FINALLY deleted and blocked him from Facebook.

 

Realized that the guy was an ass.

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Let's see. Things I've done and my approach. First, they're dead to me. So that means removing them completely from my life. Any physical reminder is donated, boxed up forever, trashed or burned. Second, I enjoy my own company so am not someone who needs someone constantly around to validate my existence. Third, push the limit of my being; physically, mentally and spiritually. I guess I've always been like that but moreso. And finally, FREEDOM! (Wiseman, insert applicable Braveheart image here). I can do what I want, when I want, how I want and with whom I want.

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Great post. Agree these things truly help.

Let's see. Things I've done and my approach. First, they're dead to me. So that means removing them completely from my life. Any physical reminder is donated, boxed up forever, trashed or burned. Second, I enjoy my own company so am not someone who needs someone constantly around to validate my existence. Third, push the limit of my being; physically, mentally and spiritually. I guess I've always been like that but moreso. And finally, FREEDOM! (Wiseman, insert applicable Braveheart image here). I can do what I want, when I want, how I want and with whom I want.

 

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Lifting, reading about human behaviour (which makes you just go "meh" after you see some patterns in missing your ex), doing all kinds of fun stuff.

 

And most importantly acceptance and time. Acceptance in a way that when you're feeling down, you sit and think really hard about why you feel that way.

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I have tossed out most of the things that remind me of him, deleted his number from my phone (haven't blocked yet though...), collected emails from him and filed them away in a separate file so I don't see them sitting in my inbox, working out, spending time with friends and talking through my feelings with them, taught myself to knit and started taking up painting, done a little retail therapy, started trying new things that I've never done before, such as rock climbing and spending a couple hours at a bar with a drink all by myself (haha!), and started dating again too.

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