Dating-Nerves-Confusion

[pinkrose23]

I have been talking to this guy since beginning of January, and we are currently in mid-march... so it's been about two months.

 

He is a year older than me. Very respectful. Works to provide for himself and is very independent.

 

He has cooked for me, taken me to dinner, movies and an arcade. He has bought me a couple of things, so he can (in his words) "spoil me". He seems very genuine.

 

A little about me: I am 23 and never had a boyfriend. Never introduced a guy Timmy family. Never had the question lingering if I was going to date someone.

 

This man asked me to be his girlfriend and be exclusive. I am okay with us being exclusive, but the whole title is just too much for me. I feel like he is a great catch, but I'm just so nervous and in a situation I have never been in before. He asked to be official when we were talking for a month. We have now been talking for two months, and I know he is just waiting on me... what do I do?🙃

 

It's just all new to me.. and I'm so confused.

 

There are little things that bother me, but it's nothing major. It's like how he says a certain word or spells a word wrong. (I'm a grammar nazi). Sometimes I feel like I'm being too picky.

 

I recently heard of the 80/20 rule. What do you guys think about that?

[SherrySher]

It all depends on how you feel about him. Are you comfortable being in a relationship with him? Do you have romantic feelings for him? Have you gotten to know him enough now that you would choose him for a partner?

These are all things only you can answer.

 

As for the little things, there are always going to be flaws in every person we date, it just depends on if you're okay with these flaws or if you can foresee them becoming too much of an issue for you.

 

The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle has a lot of good aspects to it. I feel that it is good to still have other hobbies and a life outside of your relationship, however, I also feel that both partners should be loyal and monogamous. The 80/20 rule can sometimes mention having flings on the side (which I don't agree with at all).

 

I hope you make a decision based on how you feel about this man and if you feel you have a good foundation with him to build a worthwhile relationship.

Good luck.

[Hollyj]

It all depends on how you feel about him. Are you comfortable being in a relationship with him? Do you have romantic feelings for him? Have you gotten to know him enough now that you would choose him for a partner?

These are all things only you can answer.

 

As for the little things, there are always going to be flaws in every person we date, it just depends on if you're okay with these flaws or if you can foresee them becoming too much of an issue for you.

 

The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle has a lot of good aspects to it. I feel that it is good to still have other hobbies and a life outside of your relationship, however, I also feel that both partners should be loyal and monogamous. The 80/20 rule can sometimes mention having flings on the side (which I don't agree with at all).

 

I hope you make a decision based on how you feel about this man and if you feel you have a good foundation with him to build a worthwhile relationship.

Good luck.

 

Really good answer!!!

[Keyman]

The way I see it, you need to decide if you like him enough to be in a relationship with him. If not, then don't get involved with him, let him down nicely and move on. But then, whent he next guy comes along and wants to become exclusive, will you not feel the same?

 

We gain experience by doing things, sometimes repeatedly. And experience helps us to find what we are good at, what we like and what situations are not the best.

 

He seems like a genuine person, caring, attentive. So, this could be a good relationship. But do you like him?

[Gary Snyder]

 

I recently heard of the 80/20 rule.

 

- Which 80/20 rule? There are literally a million of those.

 

Men generally don't spell as well as women, it's a fact. Yes, you are too picky there. You should help him Women also tend to be more detail-oriented than men. Viva la difference!

 

But I think the real issue is either:

 

1) Some young women are not ready for love until the age of 26-27.

 

2) Perhaps he's just not the one.

 

The good news is, since you are not in love, you won't be hurt too badly. You have a long life ahead of you, don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck to you!

[katrina1980]

Agree with other posters, but since you have never experienced this before, more specifically how do you feel when he kisses you? How do you feel when you are having sex, or with physical affection, or do you think about having sex if your not having it yet? Do you look forward (excited) to seeing hm and spending time with him? Does he make you smile when you talk to him or see him or just when you see a txt from him? The answers to these questions will tell you if you like him romantically or as mostly a friend. A man can be a great guy, good job/provider, generous, respectful, loyal, caring but if you don't have that special feeling in your 'solar plexus' than you have a good friend, and people don't date or have romantic relationships with friends.

 

I have never heard of 80/20 but everyone has flaws when it is right between two people, we overlook or just accept those flaws and focus on their positive traits, the traits that caused us to become attracted to them, the trains that make us compatible and happy. When you start thinking about things like 80/20 I don't think it's right, especially after only two months together.