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We Will Never Meet...


youdontknowme

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Hello,

 

I have gotten very close to a girl who is almost perfect for me. We've been talking for about 2 months properly and this evening we sorta let our hearts out and started talking about starting an online relationship. There is one problem... she has social anxiety making the possibility of us meeting "impossible". In her words, she will never meet me. I think we're close enough for me to admit I love her and I'm feeling really down and confused as to what I do.

 

I know she would still be up for a relationship and I want it so much too but what is the point if it's going to go nowhere... I'm unsure what to do - if I committed properly do you think there's a chance it would be possible? We only live a few hours drive from each other but she is so certain she could never meet me.

 

We're both 16.

 

Thanks...

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My dear fellow, this isn't going to work. You dont know her. You haven't even met her and it doesnt sound like you will. You cant love someone you haven't actually met in person, spent time with, gotten to know. An online relationship is not a relationship at all. You cant commit to someone you just dont know. If she has social anxiety she needs to get some help with it or she's going to have a very sad, miserable life.

 

It's fine to be friends, but for a girlfriend, you need to look in your own area and find a girl you can see, hang out with, go places with, get to know! At 16 you are just getting going on your dating years and what you are proposing is not the way to do it.

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To be honest at 16 you should be dating real life girls. Agree she may be catfishing. An online relationship is not a "proper relationship".

 

Work on your social anxiety that leads you to pursue stuff like this. Work out, get in shape, get new clothes, a good haircut. Join some groups and clubs in school, volunteer. Meet real live people in real life.

I'm quite anxious she could be a catfish. I've never heard her voice and only seen pictures of her. I asked to voice call once before but she says she has social anxiety so I'm unsure what to do.
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Hey. Listen, I think some of the comments were a bit harsh. There is truth to them, but don't let it make you feel down. Now I know how you feel, I really do. But I do think that in order for this to work, you'll have to see her in real life. I agree that there's a difference in dating online and in real life, a person can act completely different behind a screen. Also it's a fact that when you're crushing on someone, it's kind of a fantasy, it's like you've created in your head the perfect person, and gave that character the face of the person you're crushing on. And that is definitely magnified when you have feelings for someone you met online but never in person. Only later can you move on from this phase in the relationship, and that's when you find out what the person really stands for, the good and the bad, and only then can love really form.

To sum up, I don't encourage you to give up right away just because those comments make you sound like a stupid teen, you're not. You're just living the moment as you should. But do understand you can't compromise on an online relationship, it will not work. What also wouldn't work is pressuring her, she'll have to take care of her problems in order for you guys to work It out. So maybe hang in there for just a little while longer, try to meet in the middle and work out a way, and if that can't happen then yes, drop it. It'll be hard but for your own good.

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Have you ever spoken to her, live on webcam/FaceTime?

 

If not, then you really have no clue who you are talking to. It could be a married man, for all you know. Please don't waste your time on this, OP. There's no point.

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