She acts like I don't exist

[Ies7shay]

My girlfriend broke up with me in August, it wasn't a nice break up. I said somethings to her out of hurt that I shouldn't have said, it's only human, but I apologized to her. In october she blocked me everywhere, Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp,... We were together for one year but it was very intense( she got pregnant in February last year but she didn't want to keep it, at first she was going to keep it a secret from me). I haven't heard from her since october. I ran into her a few times at university but she doesn't even look at me, she pretends like I don't exist.

I have accepted the break up a while ago, we aren't made for each other. But what I don't understand is how she can pretend that I don't exist anymore... A year ago she was pregnant with my child and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts every single day knowing that the person whom you loved with all your heart and for whom you did everything acts like that.

[happyfrank]

Let her live her life and you do the same.

 

It's part of the process of moving on.

 

Good luck to you.

[vesper]

My girlfriend broke up with me in August, it wasn't a nice break up. I said somethings to her out of hurt that I shouldn't have said, it's only human, but I apologized to her. In october she blocked me everywhere, Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp,... We were together for one year but it was very intense( she got pregnant in February last year but she didn't want to keep it, at first she was going to keep it a secret from me). I haven't heard from her since october. I ran into her a few times at university but she doesn't even look at me, she pretends like I don't exist.

I have accepted the break up a while ago, we aren't made for each other. But what I don't understand is how she can pretend that I don't exist anymore... A year ago she was pregnant with my child and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts every single day knowing that the person whom you loved with all your heart and for whom you did everything acts like that.

 

What did she say when you apologized? Did she say she was never going to talk to you again?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. It's best for you to stay no contact and try to avoid her.

 

It was too much, too soon, too intense and too much water under the bridge.

 

She probably wants to forget this whole debacle 7shay;6773169]I said somethings to her out of hurt.she got pregnant in February last year but she didn't want to keep it, at first she was going to keep it a secret from me.

[surfdiva]

"I said somethings to her out of hurt that I shouldn't have said, it's only human, but I apologized to her"

 

Sometimes an apology is just not enough. You're broken up, what do you want her to do? She's avoiding you *because* you're broken up. Move on with your life.

[Ies7shay]

She ended her last text with Good Bye! I guess that says it all

[JoyfulCompany]

Ies7shay,

 

If you want to delve into it... What hurtful thing did you say to her? Maybe it triggered something in her... Did you apologize soon after? Did she accept you apology? And what happened between August and October?

 

But, of course, it's better if you try letting it go. She seems she's made up her mind.

Don't get sentimental over the pregnancy thing. It happened but she clearly didn't want it. It wasn't like you two considered whether to keep it or not together. So maybe the relationship was more important to you than to her.

 

I don't want to sound hurtful but to point out that you're still holding onto something that isn't there and you are only going to hurt yourself further. Don't do that.

Good luck!

[Birdie]

What did you say to her?

[Ies7shay]

Ies7shay,

 

If you want to delve into it... What hurtful thing did you say to her? Maybe it triggered something in her... Did you apologize soon after? Did she accept you apology? And what happened between August and October?

 

But, of course, it's better if you try letting it go. She seems she's made up her mind.

Don't get sentimental over the pregnancy thing. It happened but she clearly didn't want it. It wasn't like you two considered whether to keep it or not together. So maybe the relationship was more important to you than to her.

 

I don't want to sound hurtful but to point out that you're still holding onto something that isn't there and you are only going to hurt yourself further. Don't do that.

Good luck!

 

I said to her that she just waited to end things between us until she knew that she wasn't going to be alone at university( moved to a new city to attend university) and that I felt she just used me to get through her last months at home because she already told me in May that she had doubts about us. But we talked things out back then and everything was back to normal again. But in August I went on a three week vacation and things got worse again. She lives in a building with all college students and when I arrived there things exploded between us. But the next day everything was fine again and she told me how much she loved me and didn't want to lose me. But two days later she broke up with me at a park. I waited at the park for three hours, she broke up with me in five minutes, she told me that she had lost feelings for me and she just left. And since that moment she has turned into another person.

I literally did everything for her. She was a vegan so after a few months I became a vegan too, she got pregnant I supported her all the way through the abortion, I did everything she asked. But I always had the feeling that I was always "giving" in our relationship.

[Ies7shay]

What did you say to her?

 

Check my reply to joyfulcompany

[JoyfulCompany]

I see. So nothing really mean or too agressive that might've scared her... Nothing unforgivable...

And, who knows, maybe you were even close to the truth with your comment, if she already questioned your relationship and changed her heart when she got into another environment.

 

But, enough assuming! This only confirms you should stay strong, in no contact and start moving on.

Whenever you miss her, remind yourself of these horrific cold-blooded few hours in the park you went through. It's over. And it's over for good.

The girl you loved and claimed loved you back doesn't exist anymore. But a lot of other potential ones do exist!

 

And, probably yet another issue... Don't change who you are because of someone else. It's okay to pick on a good external influence but never do it just to better suit someone.

And if there's a next time you catch yourself as the only one who is giving to the relationship, don't ignore it and get out sooner.

You may need to work on your confidence overall.

[Ies7shay]

I see. So nothing really mean or too agressive that might've scared her... Nothing unforgivable...

And, who knows, maybe you were even close to the truth with your comment, if she already questioned your relationship and changed her heart when she got into another environment.

 

But, enough assuming! This only confirms you should stay strong, in no contact and start moving on.

Whenever you miss her, remind yourself of these horrific cold-blooded few hours in the park you went through. It's over. And it's over for good.

The girl you loved and claimed loved you back doesn't exist anymore. But a lot of other potential ones do exist!

 

And, probably yet another issue... Don't change who you are because of someone else. It's okay to pick on a good external influence but never do it just to better suit someone.

And if there's a next time you catch yourself as the only one who is giving to the relationship, don't ignore it and get out sooner.

You may need to work on your confidence overall.

 

The day before she broke up with me she wanted to be alone and gave me a kiss on the cheek when I went to my place. That same night she went out with her new friends. But before she went out I bought roses and dropped those of at her front door(she lives at that 12th Floor so I took the stairs instead of the elevator so that I wouldn't bump into her). I got a thank you text and she said that we would talk the next day. When I look back at it she had already made up her mind that day...

 

Everyone says that I can only blame myself one thing and that's that I tried way to hard for her and I have never been able to be completely myself around her.

[Ies7shay]

Sorry to hear this. It's best for you to stay no contact and try to avoid her.

 

It was too much, too soon, too intense and too much water under the bridge.

 

She probably wants to forget this whole debacle

 

I found out a few weeks ago that she already had an abortion in 2015... And she told me that before she met me she had taken a lot of morning after pills...

[JoyfulCompany]

Everyone says that I can only blame myself one thing and that's that I tried way to hard for her and I have never been able to be completely myself around her.

 

There you go! That's something to work on.

 

 

I found out a few weeks ago that she already had an abortion in 2015... And she told me that before she met me she had taken a lot of morning after pills...

 

Ugh! I don't even want to comment on that.

Ies7shay, from now on, please, always use protection for both your heart and your... thing (if you haven't).

[Ies7shay]

There you go! That's something to work on.

 

 

 

 

Ugh! I don't even want to comment on that.

Ies7shay, from now on, please, always use protection for both your heart and your... thing (if you haven't).

 

I always use protection for my "thing" Hahahha

I know that it's going to take a while before I will be able to open my heart again.

[MissCanuck]

Unfortunately, this is not unusual after a break-up.

 

She probably recognizes that you are still into her so she doesn't engage with you. She doesn't want to give you any false hope, in other words. It's also possible that she is seeing someone else and doesn't want to jeopardize that by opening a line of communication with you.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, though. It's for the best that she avoids you; I don't think you'd be able to move on if you two were in any contact. And as JoyfulCompany suggests - do wrap it up in the future! This girl was clearly having a lot of unprotected sex prior to you, so I hope you have been tested as well.

[Ies7shay]

Unfortunately, this is not unusual after a break-up.

 

She probably recognizes that you are still into her so she doesn't engage with you. She doesn't want to give you any false hope, in other words. It's also possible that she is seeing someone else and doesn't want to jeopardize that by opening a line of communication with you.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, though. It's for the best that she avoids you; I don't think you'd be able to move on if you two were in any contact. And as JoyfulCompany suggests - do wrap it up in the future! This girl was clearly having a lot of unprotected sex prior to you, so I hope you have been tested as well.

 

I always had safe sex with her. She doesn't take birth control.

 

I don't want to be in a relationship with her any more, that would be unhealthy. But we were also best friends and I just want us to act normal when we ran into each other.

[hyden]

Ugh! I don't even want to comment on that.

Ies7shay, from now on, please, always use protection for both your heart and your... thing (if you haven't).

 

Clearly he hasn't, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. And I love the negative light he tries to put her in while taking no responsibility for birth control himself. Delightful.

[Ies7shay]

Clearly he hasn't, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. And I love the negative light he tries to put her in while taking no responsibility for birth control himself. Delightful.

 

Hey I always used a condom but those aren't 100%. It's not like I could force her into taking birth control!

[MissCanuck]

Hey I always used a condom but those aren't 100%. It's not like I could force her into taking birth control!

 

So the condom broke?

[boltnrun]

Her ignoring you is actually kinder.

 

What if she said she wanted to stay "friends"? Would it bother you at all if you two were "friends" and she introduced you to the new guy she's dating (hypothetically)? Would it bother you at all if she talked to you about dates she went on or new guys she's hanging out with? Because, you know, those are things that friends do!

 

Or worse, what if she texted you every so often when she was bored, said things like she missed you, then disappeared for a couple of weeks?

 

Those things would be mean.

 

Nope, no contact is the best way to go.

 

Accept that you two aren't "friends". Then, make new friends or spend time with the ones you currently have.

[Ies7shay]

So the condom broke?

 

Yes, it was just bad luck.

[Ies7shay]

Her ignoring you is actually kinder.

 

What if she said she wanted to stay "friends"? Would it bother you at all if you two were "friends" and she introduced you to the new guy she's dating (hypothetically)? Would it bother you at all if she talked to you about dates she went on or new guys she's hanging out with? Because, you know, those are things that friends do!

 

Or worse, what if she texted you every so often when she was bored, said things like she missed you, then disappeared for a couple of weeks?

 

Those things would be mean.

 

Nope, no contact is the best way to go.

 

Accept that you two aren't "friends". Then, make new friends or spend time with the ones you currently have.

 

When we broke up she told me that she wanted to stay friends. I have no feelings for her I just miss her as my friend. I only want her to be happy.

[boltnrun]

People ALWAYS say they want to "stay friends" because they think it softens the blow of the breakup. Seldom do they truly mean it.

 

I mean, what happens with either of you start dating or get a new partner? Are you supposed to expect your new girlfriend or her new boyfriend to be cool with you being friends and hanging out with your ex?

 

And if you just want her to be happy, what indication has she given you that she's unhappy? Maybe she's doing just fine.

[Wiseman2]

It's her way to heal and move forward. How did you realize "we aren't made for each other"?

I have accepted the break up a while ago