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So, I will attempt to make a long story as short and concise as possible.

 

I've been dating this guy for about four months, and we have been an exclusive couple for around a month and a half. A few days ago, I received a message from his ex-girlfriend complete with screenshots of a conversation they had had earlier that day that were suggestive and extremely flirtatious. He went as far as to tell her he needed a night with her. So, I confronted him and he said he was just trying to keep her happy, and that she had approached him. I was very happy with him until this point, and I let him know I needed some time to figure out exactly what I needed to do and what I wanted. The next day, I texted my best friend (male), and asked him to meet me for drinks to get his thoughts on the whole thing.

 

After explaining the situation and talking for a bit, I had decided to give my boyfriend another chance, though even up to this point I have not gotten back together with him or said goodbye for good. After talking about the boyfriend problem with my best friend, we hung out for a bit, and drank our normal amount and were both feeling pretty good. My best friend and I had a somewhat romantic relationship when we first met a while back, and I have had feelings for him ever since, and to be honest fell in love with him over time. However, when he entered a relationship with another girl I took a step back and our relationship proceeded to enter a brother-sister territory (still extremely close, very intimate, but not physical).

 

So, as the night progressed he asked me if I had ever thought about us. I was honest with him and told him I had, but I knew it wasn't possible because he is taken. He then proceeded to tell me he thinks of me constantly and wishes he were in a relationship with me. He said if he had known that I wanted to be with him things would be vastly different, and he wouldn't be with his current girlfriend. We then talked about the period when we first met, and how it just kind of flipped into something else. He was getting over a relationship at the time and I didn't want to be the rebound. Finally we took a cab back to our neighborhood (we live close to each other).

 

On the way home in the cab he reached over and put his hand on my leg. I put my hand on his and moved it away reminding him he has a girlfriend. He seemed very upset by this, but I don't want to be the home-wrecker. When we got out of the cab, he said Let's go, expecting me to go home with him. I told him I was going to my house, but he pulled me in for a kiss and told me all he could think about was having me beside him. I broke the kiss and went home. We then had a conversation over text in which he said he wants a lot. I said we want the impossible, and his question was Is it? I told him I was at peace with where our relationship is, and he responded letting me know he isn't. I went to sleep at this point.

 

I've seen him a few times since, and it's a little awkward. I texted him the next day asking for some space, which he agreed to. However, the space hasn't happened because I don't want space between he and I. I love him in a way I've never really loved anyone before, and in an ideal world we would be together. So now I'm left with some questions:

 

Was this just a drunk interaction? Was it just alcohol talking, or a real and honest conversation we had?

I know this won't wreck our friendship, because we are super strong friends. The question now is where do we go from here?

I've told him we need to have a talk where alcohol isn't really involved, but so far we haven't set aside time to do so.

 

I've also taken some space from the guy I've been seeing while I try to figure this out. So much has happened in the matter of just a few days.

 

What are your thoughts?

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To me it stands out that at first I thought this post was going to be about your current boyfriend and how he acted with his ex. But 3/4th of the post is about your old love that never really had the chance. I dont think you and your current boyfriends have a good foundation to build on if he needs a night with his ex and you kiss "the one who got away".

 

So my advice would be to end the current relationship first. You seem like a girl who wants to have straight lines, which I personally find great. So for your own well being and self perception stick to that. That also means that I think you should make some demands to your old friend. Tell him that if he truly wants to be with you, he has to end it with his current gf first. Then you and him can try to see eachother when both are single and with a clean slate. Maybe go on a vacation to see if you actually have the chemistry that you both feel right now when its the forbidden and impossible love.

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Drop both guys. They are potential cheaters i.e. NOT relationship material. As for your 'best friend', he tried to take advantage of your trust and vulnerable state of mind to lure you into a messy situation. Not much of a friend and quite a selfish move... Blaming alcohol for his lack of integrity doesn't sound like a good idea imo. Past behaviour is indication of future behaviour...

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Neither of these men are worth it and both are quite clearly cheaters.

You are trying to turn a big fantasy romance with this "friend" but it does sound as though he was trying to take advantage, never mind that he didn't care to cheat on his own gf. He wanted to get laid, it wasn't about feelings.

 

You are not choosing the best men here, you're choosing ones with very low morals and standards and it will bite you in the butt sooner or later.

I would go for option three...the man you've not met yet who is single and not a cheater...with these two goof balls, its sounds like nothing but a mess.

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All people think the same way...."they are cheating with me because they love me sooooo much and want me sooooo much. I am so special to them that they can't help themselves"...but then they are shocked when they get the person and are the one dating them and eventually find them having a hot and steamy situation with someone else while you're elsewhere thinking everything is okay.

 

If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you.

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"So, as the night progressed he asked me if I had ever thought about us. I was honest with him and told him I had, but I knew it wasn't possible because he is taken. He then proceeded to tell me he thinks of me constantly and wishes he were in a relationship with me."

 

Aren't they funny when they say this? As if we were born yesterday and are unable to figure out that if they really wished they were in relationships with us, they would be! It's so simple, and yet so many people hide behind these words and try to find meaning and hope in them...

Your 'friend' is an a$$ who tried to take advantage of you and use you to cheat on his girlfriend, because he knew you had feelings for him and you were drunk. Even if he was to end things with his girlfriend, would you trust him? After all, you just saw how easy it is for him to cheat.

 

As for the other one, I would pass on him too. Like another poster said, none of these guys is a good option, there are better men out there.

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Really? You're struggling, dealing with TWO of them??

 

I thought your both involved right now?

 

And why would you go beyond those boundaries of 'friendship' with your 'guy friend'? And risk losing what you have- forever?

 

As mentioned.. deal with the one you've got already.

 

If he's acting out this way re: and ex.. walk away. I'm sure your suspicions will always be present.. and I would be too!

 

Keep your distance from now on with both of them! One's crooked and the 'friend' isn't available either.

 

Find someone out there who IS mature and ready to be involved.. not these... losers.

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