break up or suffer?

[popeyeman]

im a 19 year old male and have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. We started dating in highschool and since then been together and go to the same uni. i used to walk her home everyday after school for a year and a half no matter what and really enjoyed it.

When we were together i once kissed an other girl and felt terrible about it and never saw that girl after that and never told my gf about it cause i really liked her and didnt want to lose her. But that girl kept on trying to get to her and tell her what happened even tho she knew that it was a mistake but she kept on trying to screw me over and my gf asked me about this and i told her its just bull and we moved past it.

About 4 months ago we broke up cause she didnt like how i was spending time with my brother alot and not seeing her as much. i was going through depression and i enjoyed my brothers company so spend alot of time with him and she ended up breaking up with me and i thought it was normal 2 or 3 day break up but 2 weeks passed and i didnt hear anything from her since she was the one who initiated it and then one day i see her with a guy making out and that guy turns out to be a friend of mine that i didnt really speak to as much anymore and i got angry and confronted them and she told me to leave and that guy had the audacity to tell me to leave and she stood by him and i just felt like and wanted to hit him but i left and i tried to contact her and she avoided me alot and was spending alot of time with that guy and i used to wait for her outside her place to get back and that guy would drop her and they would do things in the car and i just felt like absolute but i guess i love her too much and didnt let me bother it. i spoke to her couple of times to get back but all she said was i love you but you dont make me feel happy or special and dont give me enough attention and that guy does and she didnt get back. I got really depressed and quit my job and just sat at home and smoked 24/7 (i used to smoke casually around 1 or 2 smokes a month). I was slowly starting to get better and started seeing other people even though i didnt enjoy it cause im more of a relationship person but just to get over her i saw couple of females but didnt really get anywhere with any of them. A month later, she came outside my house and was telling me how she misses me and that we should give it another go and i was weak enough to fall for it and we have been together since then. i also confessed about the time i kissed another girl and she was really upset and didnt talk to me for a week but after a while she got over it since it was more than a year ago and a mistake.

Now i cant get over what i had seen between her and the other dude. that other dude was 28 years old and was filthy rich and i actually introduced them both to eachother since my gf isnt very good at making friends and always complains how she doesnt have any decent friends so i thought id introduce her to my mutual friends.

She has alway been very stubborn and selfish and tends to blame me for everyhting and recently she crashed her car and has been really upset about it and i ve been really nice to her and even offered to sell my car so she has enough money for her to purchase a new car and i have already sold my phone and using a cheaper phone so i can help her out financially but she keeps getting mad at me for little things like why i am not studying and playing games or why did i show up half an hour late to see her or if i said something.

i sleep at hers about 6 days a week, she lives with her parents btw. Im sort of a lazy guy and not very perfect whereas she likes everything to be perfect and that puts me under a lot of pressure and sometimes it gets oo much for me like if i forget to fix the bed in the morning, she would be really mad or if im wearing the same shirt the next day or my beard is a bit grown or i dont do ncie things for her every night. we have been together for 3 years and it does bother me cause she's really bossy and everytime i keep thinking about that guy cause i remember her being very nice to him and not so much to me and i get really upset and cant quite smoking ( which she also hates and gets mad at me for doing).

Im a good looking guy and come from a middle easetrn background so my family is a bit religious and doesnt support my relationship but i go against them to ve with her cause i just really like her but she just makes me feel really frustrated most of the times and i dont know what i should do. i have tried to talk to her but she gets offended and mad by every little thing like if i swear or not agree with her on something. i have lost alot of friends and family relations cause of her but i dont know if i am doing the right thing or not. Everything just feels bad and makes me fall deeper into depression.

i know its a long piece of text but any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[melancholy123]

Break it into paragraphs with spaces between them would be a start.

 

She sounds too high maintenance for you and any other guy as well as controlling and demanding. Do you really want to be with someone like that? You might be happier if you split up for good and found a more pleasant person.

[popeyeman]

Haha yeah sorry didn't realise it

Yeah I've told her to cut me some slack since she's really hard to deal with but she doesn't get it

She's hooked up with couple of guys but I'm the first a tusly boyfriend and I've to deal with all the she has to offer no matter what and it has stressed me out so much