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Desperately need second opinions.


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Hi everyone

Okay, so in just going to launch straight into it.

I met this guy a week ago and I fell hard and fast. He was totally my type, and by that I mean ambitious, funny, witty and mature. Or so I thought.

He sought me out every evening that we were in the same place, sat next to me and got to know me. I laughed more than I had ever laughed before and we just clicked. We were on the same page about a lot of stuff and by the third night (yes, it was soon, I know) I knew that I wanted to date this guy.

So a few things that he did to make me think he liked me back:

- Sought me out (as mentioned above)

- Tried to get to know more about me

- We had inside jokes like within the first few hours of knowing each other

- On the second night, he took my number (even though it was for a very dumb reason) and sent me a picture of himself 'by mistake' and was quite cheeky about it

-On that same night, he waited for close to an hour for me to get a ride home (after offering to drive me and me refusing), even though he had somewhere way more important to be and he was very late.

I know it sounds like very little, but it was honestly like my heart had found a home...

And now... Maybe he was just being really friendly?


So the night of the 3rd I sent him a picture of myself (nothing gross, just a selfie) by mistake. A legitimate mistake as I meant to send it to a friend with the same name. And when he saw it, he told me it would make a new profile picture for him.

I thought he was being sarcastic, but others told me he definitely liked me.


So day 4: I was nervous to see him after the picture mistake. But again, he came over, sat beside me and just started talking... It was so so natural and so normal and I was really falling for him hard...


It got weird though, when he took my phone and downloaded tinder. I didn't really get that.


We got into a discussion about it and he said he doesn't think it's bad to find a relationship over tinder. He also said how he doesn't go for typical beauty and is more interested in a girl for her personality and he would know he was attracted to a girl from talking to her and figuring out the kind of person that she is (I am not a beauty at all, but I did make him smile and laugh and I really thought he was talking about me...)


But that was that and when I got home I found him on tinder too and swiped right obviously and texted him flirtatiously to tell him that it was a nice photo. And his response was "So I see you're swiping..."


Again, thought nothing of it and because I had fallen so hard, I decided to go for it. All in.


So I told him I like him. Not that I want to date him or anything like that. Just that I like him.


And he immediately told me he only thought of me as a friend and he's sorry because he's still not over his ex and he doesn't feel the same about me.


I was crushed. I am crushed. I fell so hard and I know it was stupid, but I did.


The way he spoke and what he wanted out of life was so similar to what I wanted and my thought processes... I thought he was into me...


He said we should still be friends but I know I'm only doing that because I can't get over this shred of hope that he may still like me...


Now for the bad stuff:

-We met at pre-wedding functions and I told him I like him after the wedding.

-He has intense commitment issues

-He texted a girl (typical beauty, which he said he wasn't into) whom he had spent like 5 minutes talking to and who thought he was weird. I'm guessing he liked her because he literally took every stalker step towards finding her.


So my question is...

Did I read into this too much? Was he not dropping hints? Did I just tell him too soon and because he's scared of commitment he ran? Did he play me?


I still really really like him and it hurts so much to know I'm not good enough for him and that the other girl was (she was very beautiful)..



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All of that over someone you didn't know existed a week ago?


He is probably at these events single for the first time as recently out of a relationship and latched on to another obvious single for someone to hang out with.


He is clearly not interested and even told you so.

This has nothing to do with committment issues.


Stop thinking beyond the obvious.


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He was friendly and flirty so no you didn't read anything into his actions. BUT that doesn't mean he was into you even though it looked to be true. Some people act this way and don't think of the consequences.


You didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't meant to be.


You did let your feet float off the ground a little to much though so try and stay more grounded next time but certainly keep an open mind and heart.



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Some people can be friendly and flirty but not mean anything by it, it sounds like this was the case.


Next time around, try to not get attached so easily or put too much into assuming. Take things more slow and don't invest your feelings until you know the other person definitely is feeling the same.

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Wow I appreciate the replies.

So firstly, um, yes, all this over someone I didn't know existed a week ago... Sorry for having feelings?

And I'm not trying to find meaning in every little thing... This has nothing to do with him and I'd never continue to pursue him. It's me trying to figure out what I did BEFORE he told me he wasn't over his ex. But thanks.

Thank you to everyone that responded kindly

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