NC begins 5 months after breakup

[foofightingguy]

I am new to this forum and want to share my story, any comment or suggestion is greatly appreciated.

 

Me (32) and her (26) dated for 1.5 years, it was a love at first sight kind of start between me and her, we couldn't stop texting and spending time with each other since. Everything was pretty much all I ever wanted given my past relationships. I have heard stories of her partying a lot before she met me, but for the whole 1.5 years she was a dedicated girl friend. I never thought I could meet someone to have so much fun with and travel. We can almost speak to each other in 4 languages too (that is rare right?). The idea of being with her and one day have a family had definitely crossed my mind multiple times.

 

The dynamic of the relationship changed a little when her parents moved back into the city to start a slightly bigger restaurant. She quit her job to help out for a year or two and moved back in with her family.

 

Everything was still great as she would come over after work, and sometimes I would go to the restaurant and even help out. She's met my parents a few times and I can say her parents liked me as well.

 

However, the stress was piling on her since. In college she had wanted to pursuit NGO field but that road didn't work out for her. She then started working and hoped to have her own business someday. But I guess it was hard to come up with great ideas for a new business. Her helping out with the family pretty much resets her career and she's back to square one. Her parents had high expectation for her too so that was another source of stress as she worked and lived with them.

 

It's not like we never fought before, but we started fighting a lot more, and over small things that were kind of silly. I am a logic first kind of person so I guess women don't really like it. She just wanted me to comfort her more and me calm down first more during fights. I didn't do well there.

 

I guess she had slowly begin to feel maybe I wasn't the right guy for her.

 

We actually broke up briefly in the middle of the relationship but we got right back together in weeks because we missed each other so badly. This time it was different, I guess she felt like we tried and it didn't work so we should both move on. She wanted to focus on herself and figure out her career first. If we were meant to be, we will find our way back to each together she says.

 

Following the break up, we would still talk almost everyday, met up maybe 1-2 times a week and were still intimate.

However, as time went by, it slowly faded from her end while my affection for her had not and sometimes I would talk about getting back together or get emotional.

 

Since end of last year, she has decided to pursuit the NGO path again. So I guess in her mind, we will be apart anyways, the idea of getting back together was probably slim.

 

She went back to her home town with her family the whole of January and we only talked once (I caught a bad cold and she found out). She came back and wanted to meet and talk and we did. It was her telling me she had moved on and I should as well. We slept together again and she told me goodbye.

 

I was pretty hurt so I removed everything from social media and the next day sent her an closure email thanking her for all the good times. May it be timing or we weren't meant to be. My NC officially started, about 5 months after we broke up.

 

Since she might be leaving the country if she was lucky enough to find a NGO spot somewhere, she said she's not looking to be in any serious relationship now (but you know, can't really trust these words as anything can happen). I think she's back to her old partying ways. She's pretty and energetic and has a large network of friends so I'm sure there's no shortage of guys chasing her.

 

I know NC is for me to heal, but it has been hard not to think about her or check up on her.

In the back of my head I still hope our paths will cross and maybe spark it up again. But I guess that kind of thinking is not healthy.

 

I'm torn everyday trying to find myself again at the same time missing her...

 

She did send me an email wishing me happy birthday one week into NC, and she also said, in brackets, in the email "I'll respond to your very sincere email someday when I'm ready".

She was referring to the closure email I sent when I started NC.

 

As of right now, NC is about 1 month and 1 week.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately you weren't on the same page. You wanted a family, future, etc and she want to do this NGO thing

and party and be free. "I need to find myself" is a common excuse to break up when goals are this varied.

 

Stay no contact so you can move forward and heal. Delete and block her from all messaging and social media.

 

Do not send "get your ex back" or 'closure' letters. It keeps you hanging with the usual vague, lame response like this 6771241] she also said, in brackets, in the email "I'll respond to your very sincere email someday when I'm ready". She was referring to the closure email I sent when I started NC.