Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [21 F] Moving from dating phase to relationship

[Braytc]

Hi everyone, Lately I've been dating a girl for about a month now. She's told me multiple times what I mean to her, and I've told her what she means to me. We both are really into eachother physically and she's a little shy but pretty much on the emotional connection side.

I'm just a little confused , as to we are moving out of the dating phase and into an actual relationship. Telling our parents about one another, she came to my house to spend the night once but none of my parents were home, and kind of texting on a daily basis.

To the ladies mostly out there, I just found it really strange, or maybe im over thinking it, that when i commented on one of her instagram photos with some love emojis, she removed it. I texted her asking her why, and she said this:

 

**"I'm not ready to make it public between us yet"

 

**i said something like "i cant compliment you? I want us to be proud of eachother ya know"

 

**She said "Yeah, but i dont want it to be out yet and dont want people to think you're thirsty"

 

 

Is this something girls usually do? They don't really want the public knowing about our relationship starting up? Of course every girl is different and she is a little different from others, but it's just kinda been eating away at me.

She mentioned in the car she told her family about me that she's seeing but is a little too early yet for me to be meeting anyone because she feels until everything is completely permanent she wants to make sure the relationship will stay before she starts letting people REALLY know about us.

It's just felt weird to me lately. Thanks for your help

 

tl;dr

Girl I dated for not too long, me and her pretty much are calling eachother girlfriend/boyfriend and moving into a relationship, but she isn't completely letting her family/public see me and her together yet. She also has been getting really quiet in texting eachother for some reason. She calls me her baby, yet has been barely texting me with her initiating the text or giving some one word answers to things that arent sometimes. Maybe i'm just being paranoid or worked up for no reason. Let me know what you think is going on. Thanks!

[gebaird]

My high school girlfriend was a lot like this. She loved me, but was just really concerned about her image and what other people thought of her. In retrospect, I shouldn't have made it into a big deal. What matters is that the time you spend with each other is enjoyable.

[Braytc]

My high school girlfriend was a lot like this. She loved me, but was just really concerned about her image and what other people thought of her. In retrospect, I shouldn't have made it into a big deal. What matters is that the time you spend with each other is enjoyable.

 

Appreciate it. It just feels weird. She maybe is just a really different girl but it just feels like she's holding back feelings or something. I can't tell

[limichelle]

Maybe she has had boyfriends come and go and announced it each time only then to change the status back to single?

 

I could see something like that, where she wants to make sure what you have is more solid.

 

I guess with her parents same situation they have seen boyfriends come and go.

 

I think it was rude saying it made you seem thirsty.

 

I guess it comes down to if you like being kept a secret for now?

 

Lisa

[Braytc]

Maybe she has had boyfriends come and go and announced it each time only then to change the status back to single?

 

I could see something like that, where she wants to make sure what you have is more solid.

 

I guess with her parents same situation they have seen boyfriends come and go.

 

I think it was rude saying it made you seem thirsty.

 

I guess it comes down to if you like being kept a secret for now?

 

Lisa

 

That's kind of how i am looking at it. She told me straight up when we were first meeting how she had a really bad borderline abusive relationship with a guy last summer and it really made it hard for her to trust anyone completely and that she needs to take things slow. That's what she said to me when we first started.

 

I don't think she ment it in a rude way, i just wasn't expecting it lol. She said "i dont want people thinking you're thirsty" as in 99% of the people on her page dont know we are going out so she doesn't want me to look like im just some random guy. Not sure exactly but that's how i interpret that.

 

I don't mind being a secret for now, but eventually i want to be able to be proud of eachother and be able for people to see me and for my people to see her.

[justshine1]

I think if your excited about someone you show it. Like who doesn't wanna show it when they are happy?

 

In my experience if I acted that way, it was because either I wasnt that interested or embarrassed of the person and wanted to hide them.

[Braytc]

I think if your excited about someone you show it. Like who doesn't wanna show it when they are happy?

 

In my experience if I acted that way, it was because either I wasnt that interested or embarrassed of the person and wanted to hide them.

 

 

I wouldve ruled in if she wasnt interested a while ago. Its a month later and she still texts me and we kiss every time we go out. And she came over and spent the night with me very physically. Shes told me how she feels , now all the sudden this question arose to me and just kind of shocked me. She even said she wants to take things slow. Im now thinking what she said she ment , as in she doesnt want to get her family and friends all excited and asking questions about her new boyfriend (me) just to be disappointed in the end, just incase anything were to happen since its only been a month

[jujusamples]

My advice is not do so much analyzing and do more communicating!

 

To me, it's only been a month, she probably just wants to take it slow. I myself take some time to put it out there when I'm in a new relationship. My reasoning is simple, once friends and family knows about the relationship, they start giving unsolicited advice. They also make judgments and random comments. This will impact your relationship, especially if it's a new relationship.

 

I've had one relationship blown out of proportion because of this. After that, I actually like to keep it on the down low in the initial stages. Especially the first few months. I want the judgement of the relationship to be my own and I do not want anyone's opinion on it. I know friends and family just wants what's best for you, but they don't realize they are just making some bad judgments sometimes. You are in the relationship, not them so no one will know it better than the 2 people in it.

 

So, maybe your gf is in the same thinking as me. It doesn't necessary mean she wants another man or she's dating someone else. She probably just want to get to know you and enjoy what you have right now. She wants to build a stronger foundation so if people judge or give bad advice, she will know you better than what they tell you. Trust me, what your friends and family have to say WILL impact your relationship if the foundation is not strong.

 

Again, do more communicating and less analyzing. Ask her, why does she want to keep it a secret? Then tell her how YOU feel about keeping it a secret.

[Braytc]

My advice is not do so much analyzing and do more communicating!

 

To me, it's only been a month, she probably just wants to take it slow. I myself take some time to put it out there when I'm in a new relationship. My reasoning is simple, once friends and family knows about the relationship, they start giving unsolicited advice. They also make judgments and random comments. This will impact your relationship, especially if it's a new relationship.

 

I've had one relationship blown out of proportion because of this. After that, I actually like to keep it on the down low in the initial stages. Especially the first few months. I want the judgement of the relationship to be my own and I do not want anyone's opinion on it. I know friends and family just wants what's best for you, but they don't realize they are just making some bad judgments sometimes. You are in the relationship, not them so no one will know it better than the 2 people in it.

 

So, maybe your gf is in the same thinking as me. It doesn't necessary mean she wants another man or she's dating someone else. She probably just want to get to know you and enjoy what you have right now. She wants to build a stronger foundation so if people judge or give bad advice, she will know you better than what they tell you. Trust me, what your friends and family have to say WILL impact your relationship if the foundation is not strong.

 

Again, do more communicating and less analyzing. Ask her, why does she want to keep it a secret? Then tell her how YOU feel about keeping it a secret.

 

Really appreciate your time you took to give me your advice! Like i said, I did ask her why, and she gave me that answer , "i'm just not ready for it to be public yet. Just incase something would somehow happen and we would all the sudden stop talking to eachother, i dont want everyone seeing we break up. I want to make sure everything is for sure permanent before i start letting people put a face to the name of the guy i'm seeing"

[Braytc]

My advice is not do so much analyzing and do more communicating!

 

To me, it's only been a month, she probably just wants to take it slow. I myself take some time to put it out there when I'm in a new relationship. My reasoning is simple, once friends and family knows about the relationship, they start giving unsolicited advice. They also make judgments and random comments. This will impact your relationship, especially if it's a new relationship.

 

I've had one relationship blown out of proportion because of this. After that, I actually like to keep it on the down low in the initial stages. Especially the first few months. I want the judgement of the relationship to be my own and I do not want anyone's opinion on it. I know friends and family just wants what's best for you, but they don't realize they are just making some bad judgments sometimes. You are in the relationship, not them so no one will know it better than the 2 people in it.

 

So, maybe your gf is in the same thinking as me. It doesn't necessary mean she wants another man or she's dating someone else. She probably just want to get to know you and enjoy what you have right now. She wants to build a stronger foundation so if people judge or give bad advice, she will know you better than what they tell you. Trust me, what your friends and family have to say WILL impact your relationship if the foundation is not strong.

 

Again, do more communicating and less analyzing. Ask her, why does she want to keep it a secret? Then tell her how YOU feel about keeping it a secret.

 

She honestly just texted me back.

Am i being too pushing in wanting to know what is going on between us? I think that is something i have the right to know. It feels like she's playing a lot of games lately.

I just asked her if there's something wrong.

She said "i just have a lot going on (my name)"

I asked her, again because im a good "boyfriend", if its something she's feeling or anything she can talk to me about. Seems like an okay thing to say right?

She said "i just rather keep to myself"

I said "Are you happy with me, is it concerning us?"

She said "i dont wanna talk about this right now"

And again, i feel i have a right for her to talk this out with me and communicate with me. So i said i'd like to know.

She says "Can you stop? You know what, i think we should just be friends for now"

I told her "can i stop? i think i'm being thoughtful trying to talk things out with you. Why do you say that though?"

Then she gave me which seems to be like an 11 year old immature text "im going to sleep. Night"

 

I can't tell if there's games going on or what now. That literally just happened.