fishtaco Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Hi everyone, Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I have been browsing these forums on/off since early last year when I went through a pretty rough breakup. Never felt the need to post because there were already so many posts that resonated with my situation and I read lots of great advice that helped to get me through some dark days. In a nutshell, I was in a serious relationship that ended in a blindsiding breakup right after the holidays last year, and it took me quite a while to get over it. I don't think the specific details are very important to my current situation, but tell me if you'd like some more information. For the past few months I've felt overall happy and ready to date again. I don't miss my ex very much and when I do, I think it's more just missing being in a steady relationship. I tend to be pretty picky when it comes to dating, which makes this situation all the more unusual for me.. I am a 34, almost 35-year old female. I have a good job, and I've been self-sufficient for a long time. Last summer I moved to a new apartment complex and quickly made friends with several of my new neighbors. One of them is the man in question - a 48-year old divorced father of 3 boys between the ages of 8-18. The divorce was finalized recently but they have been separated for a long time now. He has a good job and he's a very good dad, and his boys are very sweet when I see them out playing. He has a dog that gets along really well with my dog so we end up in the dog park together a lot of afternoons. He has always been really easy for me to talk to, and after a while I found myself looking forward to seeing him when I walked my dog, and feeling almost disappointed in the morning/afternoon/evening if we didn't end up walking our dogs at the same time. Most of our chit-chat has just been light, easy conversation.. occasionally dipping into more serious topics like my breakup and his divorce. Ever since I've known him, which has been about 9 months now, he's been there to help me if I need it. I recently moved pretty far away from any family or close friends, so in some situations I've had a difficult time. He has lent me tools when I need to do something in my apartment, has helped me with car trouble, gladly gave me a ride one time when my car wasn't working, and has knocked on my door a couple of times when he knew something went wrong earlier in the day (mainly with my car). At no point has he ever been forward or pushy about being anything more than friends, although I definitely get the sense from him that he would be interested if I initiated something. If I had to guess, I would say he holds back because of our age difference and he probably has no idea that I'm remotely interested in him. And, I guess I'm here to say, that I AM interested in him.. more and more over the last couple of months. Now that I've acknowledged to myself that I do actually like him, it's very distracting. I think about him a lot, and want to spend more time with him. I get very excited when I see his car pull up or when I see him out walking his dogs. At the same time, our lives are so different and I'm assuming (don't know for sure) that what we want out of a future partner is very different. I know that I'd like to get married someday... I *think* I'd like to have at least one child (not 100% sure how I feel about this).. I'm just guessing that after a rough divorce and being almost 50 that this man might not want to get married again and for sure isn't going to want another baby. Again, we've never talked about this, though I've tried (unsuccessfully) to find ways to bring this up without telling him that I'm interested in him right off the bat. I have been overanalyzing this situation to death for weeks now. This guy has said to me a couple times now that I'm welcome to come to his place and watch movies with him and his kids (who are already familiar with me) and although I sense he is interested me, I am sure he doesn't have any ill intentions about these offers. I've never taken him up on this because I feel like I need to sort out what my feelings are first. I guess, after my heartbreak last year, I'm afraid of making another mistake with someone else who is the "wrong" person... though, to his credit, whether this guy is the right match for me or not, he is definitely a GOOD guy, and some girl will be lucky to be with him someday. I'm just not sure we are the best fit for each other... still, I can't shake this feeling of excitement and happiness that I get from being around him (and that I sense from him when he sees me). The idea of being on a date with him makes me feel very happy even though most of my friends would be surprised at my choice. It's also not as if I just met this man either - it will be coming up on a year this summer, and these emotions inside of me have been growing steadily. On the other hand, I don't want to ruin a good friendship here in my complex. I guess I've never been torn with the heart vs. brain thing prior to entering a relationship. In the past, if I liked someone, I went for it. Now I feel a lot more cautious, and I guess for good reason. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation/can relate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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