Girl using my boyfriend, jealousy games?

[xholic]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years. However, just recently, he’s become (close?) friends with another girl, who I don’t mind him being friends with, but her behavior bothers me a little.

 

First day of university, he wanted me to go buy him liquor. I wanted him to come with me, but he said he didn’t have time. I said sure. Later, I find out he spent 2 hours with this other girl, and admittedly, I was a little upset. When they were hanging out, he told me she asked him if I was the jealous type, and he said no. I was a little confused about this but I let it slide. But overtime, more things started happening like:

 

Fast forward a few weeks, the same girl asks if she could use him to make another guy she liked jealous (by introducing my boyfriend to him). This bothered me a little, again, so i talked to him about it and he told me it wasn’t like that.

 

Just recently, me and my boyfriend were talking, and she came up from behind him and put her arm around him and started talking to him. He tried to finish his sentence with me but she kept on talking over him. I go on my phone, and after, she hands me her phone and asked me to take a picture of them together and I said yeah.. sure I guess. This also bothered me a little, and I talked to him about it. I said I felt a little disrespected, and my boyfriend agreed it was rude

 

She’s done other petty things, like send me photos of them together during lecture (we aren’t close, I don’t talk to her online at all). She used to tag other guys (with a girlfriend) in memes like “You owe me a mcdonalds date

 

I trust my boyfriend and I don’t think he could do anything to break that trust. I haven’t been upset or mad at him, I’m just bothered by her behavior. I’m totally okay with them being friends. I could try and not let it bother me, but I feel like she’s overstepping the boundaries.

 

I’m sorry it’s so long, but any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much

[Wiseman2]

It's important to have boundaries and not do stuff you are uncomfortable with. Don't be an errand boy when he's hanging out with her.

Sounds like he's enjoying the attention but at the cost of your feelings. Time for a frank talk about boundaries and respect.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years.

he wanted me to go buy him liquor.

she hands me her phone and asked me to take a picture of them together and I said yeah.. sure I guess.

[nutbrownhare]

Ooh... if she were trying to get every female within a five mile radius to hate her, she's going the right way about it. Harmless jokey flirting when everybody knows what's going on and is in on the joke, is fine - but it sounds as though she's openly disrespectful of others' relationships and has no boundaries.

 

Have another chat with your boyfriend - something along the lines of how she's acting like she can twist him round her little finger, uses him in her games with other guys, he's being played for a mug and you're finding it embarrassing. Thing is, he's probably enjoying the attention and/or is too 'nice' to tell her to cut it out.

 

I recall one night being in a music pub with my then boyfriend, and a girl we both knew slightly came up, and made a huge point of showing him the rips in her jeans bottoms; she wasn't wearing any knickers underneath. He reacted with fake horror and then we both carried on talking to each other. By the end of the evening, though, she'd obviously done it to the wrong person because someone else's girlfriend had thumped her.

[JaggerJim]

Are you sure they are just friends? Why is he letting her lead him astray? It is your boyfriend who has no boundaries. Be careful that you don't lose him to her. He is the problem for being easily lead.

[abitbroken]

She is doing this because he allows it. Keep that in mind. If he didn't like it, he would have pried her hands off of his body or turned around and said "do you mind, i'm trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend." He feels she is rude, but does nothing to discourage her attention. To me, him spending 2 hours with her is the clincher.

 

She asked if you were the jealous type, so either she has license to put her hands all over him because that was permission or she feeds off of trying to make you jealous - then you and your boyfriend will fight over it and she'll move in on him.

 

Don't put up with this crap.