Still in love with my ex but there's nothing much that I can do about it

[North123]

Hello,

 

I am 24 years old. It's been 2 months since he broke up with me and I am still hoping he'll come back. I have been strictly on NC ever since neither did he try to talk. We dated for less than a year but felt really strong about each other. We had informed close friends and some family about the relationship and we knew we would end up together for sure. We did not have major issues. We didn't fight. He was previously in a 4 year old relationship and was still friends with his ex and they used to hang out with the same group of friends too. Things started going down the drain when he heard that she was about to get engaged. I confronted him and asked him if it made him sad. He said yes. I was upset but i told him to get over it and take some time. I gave him space. For over a month I just let him be but one day he told me that we can't be together because he can't give his 100% to me and it hurts his conscience. He left saying he has feelings for me but can't continue doing this. He follows every post of mine on social media but hasn't contacted me yet. I tried everything. Deleted his no, went off social media but the hope doesn't die. I want him back but I know I have done enough and there isn't anything left to do. From talking to his friends and letting them know about how i feel, i have done it all but i never heard from him.

[Ery1988]

wish I had your strength to keep away.

[North123]

wish I had your strength to keep away.

 

I did everything I could. I gave him more than a month. He wouldn't talk to me properly. Wouldn't call. Was rude at times. I suggested break up but he said he didn't want to and continued to behave that way. I thought the best I could do was give him time. Since he says he doesn't want to break up with conviction. Asked his friends to give him my msg post break up. Tried everything

If I still keep persuading, I will look desperate.

[Ery1988]

Yours is a hard one. it seems he hasn't reacted during the no contact period months would have been more than enough for him to miss you and reconsider imo.

 

if you haven't gotten in touch at all... I would get in contact with him, sending him a friendly msg. but I wouldn't have high hopes. maybe he is caught up on his ex...

 

I can only wish I could adopt your reaction...im on day 1 NC.. don't think ill get past the day! and hes not speaking to me at all.....

[North123]

Yours is a hard one. it seems he hasn't reacted during the no contact period months would have been more than enough for him to miss you and reconsider imo.

 

if you haven't gotten in touch at all... I would get in contact with him, sending him a friendly msg. but I wouldn't have high hopes. maybe he is caught up on his ex...

 

I can only wish I could adopt your reaction...im on day 1 NC.. don't think ill get past the day! and hes not speaking to me at all.....

 

Well, it's sad that we have to do all this to get someone's attention. It just makes me feel sick. Stay strong! I don't know what's going to happen with me but I think it's time to really stop hoping. Sometimes, it's good to hold on to your self-respect. I hope you find the strength.

[North123]

P.S: He was clear about still having his ex in his head. I later heard from common friends that he was considering getting back or talking to her but that doesn't seem to have happened. Till the time she's on his mind he won't realise or even miss me. But I am sure, one day it will hit him. He killed every inch of emotion that I had.

[MissCanuck]

OP, the truth is that if his ex's engagement affected him this deeply, he's still in love with her. Thus, he was never fully with you. He might have been able to keep up appearances and maybe even convince himself that he was fully committed to you, but when reality that she was gone forever hit - it all came to a head.

 

It hurts, but he was right to end things under these circumstances. He wasn't the guy for you if he's still this much into someone else.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately his ex being in the picture this much is a red flag. Don't be strung along with vague breakups.

 

Excellent you went no contact and blocked and deleted him from all social media.

 

Fortunately it was just a few months and you can cut your losses.

was still friends with his ex and they used to hang out with the same group of friends too. he told me that we can't be together because he can't give his 100% to me and it hurts his conscience. He left saying he has feelings for me but can't continue doing this.

[North123]

OP, the truth is that if his ex's engagement affected him this deeply, he's still in love with her. Thus, he was never fully with you. He might have been able to keep up appearances and maybe even convince himself that he was fully committed to you, but when reality that she was gone forever hit - it all came to a head.

 

It hurts, but he was right to end things under these circumstances. He wasn't the guy for you if he's still this much into someone else.

 

There have been times when she got really drunk and told him she missed him. Even back then I told him that if he still has feelings, he should leave and that I will happily hold the door open. But he denied each time. I know I am acting quite dumb. I am trying my best to not be in denial anymore.

[North123]

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately his ex being in the picture this much is a red flag. Don't be strung along with vague breakups.

 

Excellent you went no contact and blocked and deleted him from all social media.

 

Fortunately it was just a few months and you can cut your losses.

 

Is it okay to wish or even think he will realise he messed up? I left so much unsaid. I had to go off social media because it looked like he was mirroring me. Changing pictures each time I did. Posting stuff everytime i did. It looked like a desperate attempt to show me that he doesn't care.

[North123]

He took my diary along with him. I wrote down how he made me feel each day throughout that month. He read in front of me and cried a lot, hugged me and forcefully took it with him. Maybe that's why I still think there could be a chance but again, the guy hasn't even checked on me once.

[MissCanuck]

He took my diary along with him. I wrote down how he made me feel each day throughout that month. He read in front of me and cried a lot, hugged me and forcefully took it with him. Maybe that's why I still think there could be a chance but again, the guy hasn't even checked on me once.

 

What the eff??

 

That's just inappropriate. Why didn't you take it back? I'd have karate chopped it out of his hand! What a weird move on his part. Did he demonstrate other such strange behaviour when you were dating?

[North123]

What the eff??

 

That's just inappropriate. Why didn't you take it back? I'd have karate chopped it out of his hand! What a weird move on his part. Did he demonstrate other such strange behaviour when you were dating?

 

No, he never did! I'm really not sure why he took it with him.