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Becoming a Munk


Matt3939

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Posted

I've been thinking I haven't had sex in over a year. Should I just become a munk? The problem is I'm not religious. I think that's a requirement. Ive been buying stretch pants at Walmart so I think I almost got the garb down. I also know that munk usually congregate in groups. That really isn't for me. Maybe if I get good at kung fu. I'm not Asian though. There seems to be no place for me.

Posted

Chipmunks congregate in groups, sure why not?

Should I just become a munk? The problem is I'm not religious. I also know that munk usually congregate in groups.

 

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Posted

A dozen is 12. What's a smidgen even Martha can't tell you that. It would be a lot easier if we would listen to dewey. Instead of still rely on a Nobel man's thumbs as units of measurement. Cause I'm trying to solve my radius problem and without a sense of measurement I'm having difficulty.

Posted

Matt you can't become a Monk. You won't be able to post on ENA and I will no longer have any form of substantial entertainment.

Posted

I went a over a year without sex at two different periods in my life. It will happen, sooner or later, and try not to let it affect your self worth, and try not to let it make you feel less attractive. It doesn't speak to either. It'll happen again. Until then focus on yourself, and use this 'sexless chapter' in your life to focus on yourself and delve into other interests or other things you want to do, like George Costanza did when he had to go without sex. (If you're a Seinfeld fan... )

Posted
Matt you can't become a Monk. You won't be able to post on ENA and I will no longer have any form of substantial entertainment.

 

This. I seriously debated breaking into a cold sweat when I read this, Matt. If I wasn't already freezing due to lack of snuggly puppy companion, I may well have done it. Please don't risk my toes to metaphorical frostbite!

Posted

Follow up point: amazing sexual partners come and go, but your ardent eNA fans are forever.

 

It's all about priorities, Matt!

Posted

Are we talking just straight up sex or intimacy... Because there's a lot of bad sex out there. Frankly, I'd rather be single than to be having perpetual bad sex.

 

Oh... and +1 to Dahl's comment! 😄

Posted

I always say to people who haven't seen me I look just like george (except without the bank account). That way they are happy when they see me. Though I'm thinking if I was supporting a residual tail that I can control with thought alone. That would have to be a hit with the ladies. Then the question is when do you take something like that out?

On the other thought I haven't had sex cause I haven't tried dating. I've been getting my life in order other ways before hand. I was just thinking im really good at growing facial hair. Why not just grow a foo man choo beard and go munk.

Posted

Interesting a tail that you can manipulate objects with, can be useful as is any appendage. The problem with Costanza's tail is that it doesn't have enough digits (aka bones all mamal tails have bones) to make it useful. In such a regard. I think you would need a minimum of seven to be useful. Such as using a TV remote or a simple touch screen. That is if you are holding it with the tail. You can get away with 3 or more if it's stationary.

 

I'm no word smith so I'm thinking if they made me a scribe. I would just mess it up within 2 iterations of the script. That way they would have to use context and hooked on phonics to understand my ancient texts. So spelling wouldn't be an issue.

Posted

I think Kitsune have nine tails, Matt. And they can shapeshift! But I'm fairly sure that the tails are ornamental, so that might be a deal breaker.

 

Also, I firmly disagree that you don't know your way around a turn of phrase. I recommend you don't shelve the scribe idea just yet.

 

After all, Twain himself opined that a man who only knows how to spell a word one way lacks imagination.

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