I fell for my friend and now I'm lost

[Mort1e]

Last year I was diagnosed with severe depression. During this time a coworker and close friend gave me a lot of emotional support and she was always there if I needed to talk. I had always had an attraction to her but I started to really develop deep feelings for her.

 

She is just so wonderful in many ways and we were close. She isn't normally my type and I feel that makes my feelings stronger, like she broke through those walls.

 

I told her and she said she appreciated and thanked me for my honesty and pulled away. Things been awkward ever since. I want to be close to her again but I don't know how to reapproach her. Am I just torturing myself ?

 

I stil have feelings but I want things to atleast go back to what they were. I guess they probably cannot due to my depression/self harm/ suicide attempt(not because of her I just had to much pain and not enough coping mechanisms)she talks to me differently and acts different around me. Sometime not even acknowledging my existence.

 

How should I approach this ?

[Krankor]

Sorry you've been having a tough time.

 

I would spend as little time around her as possible. The more you are around her the most those feelings will get stirred up. When you need to interact with her, be professional and cordial but otherwise as detached as possible.

 

She obviously doesn't feel the same way about you. I think you know that but just fully accept that you aren't going to get what you want from her. Keep your focus on working on yourself for now and getting healthy.

 

Hopefully down the road a bit once there's some distance on this you can be on friendlier terms again. But for right now just give her as much space as possible while still being professional. I wouldn't recommend reaching out to her in any way, such as a message trying to smooth things over or anything. Instead let a professional demeanor and time smooth things over.

[Zippy2000]

Hope your well, Mort1e. She just doesnt feel the same way about you and only just sees you as a friend. Shes pulled away to get some distance so you dont get the wrong idea.

 

You cannot bring back how things were as people change over time. You have to see her as ONLY a friend now and not in a romantic way.

 

You cant approach this in any way on a romantic level. You have to let her come back to you on her own accord.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry it didn't work out. You had the courage to speak your mind, but it seems she just wants to be friends.

 

Try not to lay too much stuff on people that includes coworkers, friends, family and especially women you are interested in. Reserve that for the privacy of and help from a professional therapist.

 

Ok let the dust settle and then just continue along as friends, but keep in mind the friendzone is awkward if you're attracted and want more.

I told her and she said she appreciated and thanked me for my honesty and pulled away. I stil have feelings but I want things to atleast go back to what they were.