Underage drinking @14, mixed feelings

[Yoturtle]

I've heard all the responses towards underage drinking in relationships and how the guys/girls don't like it and they are mad, frustrated, confused and annoyed because of it. Well that's my situation. I feel like I'm just gonna get called out for being controlling or something, but I'm only 15 and we've been together for 10months and it the thought kinda makes me sick, especially because I don't agree it's a good form of fun until you're older. I started dating her expecting her to be the innocent girl she was because I am. And she's grew out of it.. how should I deal with this? I feel like I can't just let it go and let her "be free, and let her live".

[gebaird]

Short of giving her a "stop drinking or break up" ultimatum, you don't really have a lot of options here. Accept her as she is or let her go, but trying to change her won't get you very far.

 

Two thumbs up on your decision not to drink until you are older.

[Yoturtle]

Hey thanks man! Appreciate the response and respect!

[Twinflamer]

Yoturtle,

 

Good on you-for deciding to;

not drink.

 

If you have already voiced your concern to her, about her drinking; then perhaps, explain to her WHY. Maybe tell her, & show her examples online, of the many health hazards that underage drinking cause.

EG: alterations in the structure and function of the developing brain, blackouts which could then lead to physical and sexual assault or rape, more prone to mood disorders such as irritability, rage or violence, a dependence on alcohol-which then can lead to a whole host of medical problems; such as cancers of the oral cavity, larynx, pharynx, and esophagus; liver cirrhosis; pancreatitis; and hemorrhagic stroke.

And that's just a few. Perhaps, she just doesn't realize that drinking at that age, has any real consequences, because she thinks she's just having fun. But putting it in perspective for her, may open her eyes about the dangers, risks, and health concerns about her drinking.

Good luck my friend!

[agent1607307371]

I feel like I can't just let it go and let her "be free, and let her live".

 

You don't have any choice if you don't want to be controlling.

 

People grow apart. That is life, that is all relationships (until the last one, hopefully). You can't try to keep someone in one place.

[Dahl]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

 

You're getting excellent advice from the forum's top shelf members - I just wanted to post to commend you on your admirable maturity and intelligent sensitivity on this matter.

 

And, for the record, I'm impressed with your approach irrespective of age, though that element does make your attitude even more laudable to me.

 

Good on you.

[ParisPaulette]

Good for you for understanding underage drinking is a serious issue and one you don't want to be a part of. If your girlfriend wants to do it, all you can do is voice your concerns and tell her that's not something you're going to back up her doing, because it's not "fun" for you and the risks don't outweigh the pleasures.

 

Really, it sounds like you're more mature than she is, and she's decided to do the wild party thing, which will either backfire on her or she'll get bored with it and stop. But you aren't wrong for knowing it's a problem and the whole "everyone else is doing it" argument is just that, an argument. It's not facts, it's not even a good reason. People do all manner of stupid and dangerous and destructive things to themselves and others, so all that "everyone" means is you choose not to be another lemming jumping off the cliff just 'cause those around you are.

 

Stay strong, tell her it's not okay with you, and if she won't stop then as much as it hurts you are going to have to make a decision about whether you want her in your life or not.

 

I wish more teenagers had your spine and common sense and maturity. It would make everyone's lives a lot easier.