Writing and love songs- very healing

[DrkHrt]

Writing and music really help. Like, a LOT. Not necessarily gonna bring back your ex, but it will make you feel better.

Writing helps because you are emptying your thoughts and feelings into a journal that only you have access to- no one can judge you because it's entirely personal to you.

And music helps- particularly love songs- because it speaks to your own situation and creates that sense that it's 'not just you' who feels that way. It's a bad cliche to think of someone crying and listening to sad love songs but actually, it helps loads.

I often write and listen to music at the same time.

ONLY do these things if you actually feel you need an outlet though- if you're having a good day, don't do these things as it will only bring up things that will bring you down.

[Broomwood]

I always write down how I feel and you're right, it always brings relief and consolation. Music wise I listen to classical, my favourite pieces, like favourite books, always lift me up and above the current situation and misfortune. Did you hear Lizst Consolation N3? In it you just know that everything is transient, including your current upset. Or some of the Rachmaninov's preludes? In C and G major. The sheer strength and will of his music coupled with soft and tender tones always fill me up with incredible strength and compassion for my situation, and a clear knowledge that I will be just fine.

[KMO7970]

I definitely agree with the writing. The music? Gotta tread carefully there and choose music wisely, in my opinion. For some reason, since my breakup on Sunday, I don't want to listen to any music at all. This is unusual for me, as I am an avid music fan and also a musician. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. The important thing here, DrkHrt, is that you feel you are healing

[DrkHrt]

Broomwood I can't say that I know much about classical music but I do find it very beautiful, and I'm glad to hear you find it therapeutic in dealing with your situation.

KMO7970 sorry to hear about your breakup. Yes indeed, it is different strokes for different people. What works for some doesn't work for all. Maybe you just need a little time before you can resume your interest in music. And seeing as you are a musician it would be sad for you not to be able to deal with something you love to do. You never know- maybe eventually you will be able to make some great music based on your pain

As far as me being healed is concerned, sadly I am not, but hopefully I am at the very early stages of being so. I am in the same boat as most of the people on ENA. I'm struggling and hurting.

But I am finding that some of the tips and tricks that people have suggested are very effective, and writing is most certainly one of them.

I always did this anyway but stopped. I resumed it after my breakup. I even write poems and short narratives, that's quite a creative and fun way of channeling my pain.

All the best to both of you x

[Wiseman2]

Agree. I think a lot of great writings and music and art are borne of heartaches and the human condition. What about van Gogh and Shakespeare and Mozart? Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear and Romeo and Juliet and The Marriage of Figaro? All inspired by love and heartache, right?

[ParisPaulette]

I agree. I found both of those things extremely healing when I was leaving a very toxic relationship. I still smile when I hear certain songs, remembering myself belting them out in private while I poured my heart out in a journal about my ex. I will forever be indebted to Black Veil Brides for that.

[DrkHrt]

Indeed Wiseman2. Some of the most beautiful Art and Music in history is a product of pain. A lot of the most successful people in the world got to where they are because they turned pain into something positive.

As an artist myself, I plan on working on some projects as a way of directing my pain into something positive. I'm not ready just yet, but I am excited about this future idea.

It doesn't really matter what your talent is- I think that there is something universal we can all learn here- sometimes we have to focus on something positive that can come out of a negative situation.

[DrkHrt]

ParisPaulette good for you! Keep on belting

Haven't heard of Black Veil Brides but I will look it up.

[DrkHrt]

ParisPaulette I just looked them up and see they are a rock band. I will take a look at their material when I get a chance.

I find rock music quite therapeutic.

I particularly like Evanescence- their words are powerful and really speak to a broken heart

[TiredOfDating]

I remember when I was still dealing with my relationship that ended in 2014. I had a really rough time for a very long time. Because we share a child I had to contact him, though he wasn't much of a father. It really prolonged my healing though because our interactions always ended in arguments and him insulting me.

 

Anyway...fast forward to October 2015...Adele released her first single, Hello, from her 25 album. And OMG, was that song so therapeutic for me! I listened to it to and from work, and would allow myself to cry it all out. Eventually I realized I sang along more and cried less. I know Adele is a cliche breakup song queen but there's a reason for that!

 

Now, I have taken comfort from the song "Better Man" by Little Big Town. It says so much about how I feel about my most recent ex, and parts of the video make me think of my son's father because I wish he was a better dad for his son.

[DrkHrt]

TiredOfDating funny you should say that about Adele and that particular song, I was thinking the EXACT same thing the other day.

Hello is very poignant because it's so realistic- we can all relate to that kind of situation. Her music is definitely relatable to the broken-hearted because it's not glamourised and cliche- it's raw and real.