Marre Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 If someone actually reads all I've written and tells me what they honestly think they are the best people on the internet and I will love them. Background story: Me and a group of friends (all in our 26-30s) started hanging out with another group of friends last autumn because my then boyfriend was friends with them. There was this funny guy that had broken up with his girlfriend recently that started to hang out with us quite much. He needed to occupy himself to deal with the anxiety, he said, and he was fun so why not. We continued to hang out even after my boyfriend and I broke up during the winter, and we became quite close. I started to like him and really enjoy hanging out with him and his group of friends and he seemed to like us. When spring came we got drunk one night, as usual, and ended up making out and having sex. After that we kind of became friends with benefits for a while, then sort of started dating. He at first didn't want to date because he wanted to concentrate on friends and school but soon after admitted feelings for me and we dated seriously, and then at the end of the summer we became a couple. He said he loved me like he hadn't loved anyone before and felt safe with me and expressed his love in actions and words. We were very happy together. During all this dating time he spent a lot of time at my place even during weekdays when we both had to get up early. I knew he had anxiety and didn't like being alone so I let him stay with me even though going to bed early to get up to work was harder. At one point during the autumn he came home to me and didn't leave for two months. During this time he never tidied up after himself and barely at all payed for food he ate at my place even when we shopped for it together. I started to feel he was just using me to not be alone and get free food, even though he said and acted like he loved me and talked about how lucky he was all the time I was by his side. After talking to him many (many many) times about starting to help out around my place, tidying up after himself, I sent him home one day in anger. I told him he can go and live at his own place. After that things got bad between us fast. We talked much less and he came over much less. When he did though he still wouldn't tidy up, take the glass or whatever back to the kitchen, just continued to bring out a lot and just leave it for me to tidy when he left. I was still upset about this and continued to talk once or twice more about it even though he didn't live with me anymore like he did. He still slept over and would create huge messes. I'd be grumpy about it and not my usual happy self and I'd kind of let him know I was something about it by not being able to be so loving towards him as usual because I was feeling used by him. After two months of it being bad he says he want to break up. He had been feeling more and more that he needs to be on his own and couldn't be in a relationship right now even thought he wants to and loves me. He wishes he could but must figure things out slowly. He had been sinking deeper and deeper into depression lately and must be alone. Thing is... I have absolutely no clue what to think or make of this. So many thoughts and feelings... like, was I just a cure for his anxiety? Did he really love me or was that a lie? Did his feelings cool and disappear when I kicked him out for being lazy? Did he lose interest when I demanded he'd start tidying up? Does he love me but actually do need to be alone? And the most important question... do we have a chance in the future to get back together, after he's done "being alone" and has "figured things out"? Link to comment
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