Jealous of girlfriends ex

[luvedup]

Ok so iv been with my girlfriend 7 months, she swears she loves me and wants a future with me. Im crazy about her.

 

But i have done the stupid thing and checked out her ex on social media, iv seen all of their pics together and all the fun times they had in the 9 months they were together and i cant lie, im majorly jealous.

 

They looked super happy, they had holidays and went to music festivals, random days out taking daft selfies, they still have the same mutual friends and play the same sport.

 

Her ex is younger and more outgoing than i am but I always make an effort to take my girlfriend on fun dates, we've been snowboarding and sledging, played mini golf, segways adventures, trips to London to see harry potter world, and when we do these things she's never bothered about taking pics, never posts about anything on her social media, iv suggested booking a holiday and she will agree to it but isnt all that fussed.

 

When we got together her facebook was still full of pics of her ex and i told her it bothered me so she took them off but she isnt all that bothered about showing me off or making fun new memories with me. Im feeling really self consious..am i daft?

Dont get me wrong..she tells me daily she loves me and cant wait to marry me one day etc. But she hardly shows the world she is in love. Can someone offer some words of wisdom please?

[youngwoman]

Ok so iv been with my girlfriend 7 months, she swears she loves me and wants a future with me. Im crazy about her.

 

But i have done the stupid thing and checked out her ex on social media, iv seen all of their pics together and all the fun times they had in the 9 months they were together and i cant lie, im majorly jealous.

 

They looked super happy, they had holidays and went to music festivals, random days out taking daft selfies, they still have the same mutual friends and play the same sport.

 

Her ex is younger and more outgoing than i am but I always make an effort to take my girlfriend on fun dates, we've been snowboarding and sledging, played mini golf, segways adventures, trips to London to see harry potter world, and when we do these things she's never bothered about taking pics, never posts about anything on her social media, iv suggested booking a holiday and she will agree to it but isnt all that fussed.

 

When we got together her facebook was still full of pics of her ex and i told her it bothered me so she took them off but she isnt all that bothered about showing me off or making fun new memories with me. Im feeling really self consious..am i daft?

Dont get me wrong..she tells me daily she loves me and cant wait to marry me one day etc. But she hardly shows the world she is in love. Can someone offer some words of wisdom please?

 

I always find it so weird how people can display that they are so happy on Facebook but then end up breaking up and over what?

 

She should want to delete those pictures herself. It's disrespectful to a new relationship to still have pictures of the ex up like still holding on. No one has to tell me to do this. I always delete ex stuff without being told. I don't get why people have to be told.

[luvedup]

Yeh exactly.. she just said "its in the past" and when i said i didnt like it she took them off not only that she also still wears pandora jewellery her ex bought her and one of the charms are two intertwined love hearts. She said they dont have any sentimental value to her, she just likes the jewellery.. i dont know what to think.

[Betterwithout]

Too many people use FB as a yardstick to their life's successes. Don't buy into it.

If your life is great with her outside FB, then do as the Beatles do...."Let it be".

 

I've never been to a funeral and heard the words "he was a good person, and well liked on Facebook"

[Wiseman2]

Ok, excellent it's going well as far as the dates and effort you make. Take pics yourself of the fun you are having together and put them on Your social media.

 

Live in the present. She's with you, not him They had a past everyone does but it's over.

 

Pace yourself to make sure you're not a rebound. The marriage talk is a bit much at 7 mos in, no?

I always make an effort to take my girlfriend on fun dates, we've been snowboarding and sledging, played mini golf, segways adventures, trips to London to see harry potter world, and when we do these things she's never bothered about taking pics, never posts about anything on her social media, iv suggested booking a holiday and she will agree to it but isnt all that fussed. ..she tells me daily she loves me and cant wait to marry me one day etc.

[luvedup]

Too many people use FB as a yardstick to their life's successes. Don't buy into it.

If your life is great with her outside FB, then do as the Beatles do...."Let it be".

 

I've never been to a funeral and heard the words "he was a good person, and well liked on Facebook"

 

I agree, but my issue is she was so happy to share her fun times with her ex with the world on fb but not at all like that with me. I feel like i dont compare..

[Doc Blaze]

people have pasts no matter if they show it or not. Unless she putting up current new pics of them together, I don't always see the issues

 

 

my ex was tagged in a lot of pics with her ex, what was I suppose to do, tell her friends to take those pics down too.

[luvedup]

Ok, excellent it's going well as far as the dates and effort you make. Take pics yourself of the fun you are having together and put them on Your social media.

 

Live in the present. She's with you, not him They had a past everyone does but it's over.

 

Pace yourself to make sure you're not a rebound. The marriage talk is a bit much at 7 mos in, no?

 

Well to be honest the marriage talk is just in a romantic sense..i.e one day she hopes to marry me. Not making any plans just yet believe me.

And yes i do make a lot of effort, i try to take pics and have even made her a memory book of the fun times we've shared so far for valentines day which she loved. But im just concerned she was happier with her ex than me

[Betterwithout]

I agree, but my issue is she was so happy to share her fun times with her ex with the world on fb but not at all like that with me. I feel like i dont compare..

 

Don't compare yourself to a past relationship. Perhaps she is more hesitant to post the same content the second time around. Maybe she wants to be more private with you. (a good thing in my opinion)

Also, you have been together for just 7 months. Maybe you can expect more fun times in the future that are worthy of her posting.

Don't worry about her past (she stated that to you). Focus on your current and future with you. The front windshield should always be larger than the rear-view mirror.

[Wiseman2]

Great. Create your own new life together. Don't mess this up with a lack of confidence because of stale fb pics.

 

Use logic, not anxiety or fear to deal with this. Keep saying to yourself "Ha! she with me, not her!".

i try to take pics and have even made her a memory book of the fun times we've shared so far for valentines day which she loved.

[luvedup]

Don't compare yourself to a past relationship. Perhaps she is more hesitant to post the same content the second time around. Maybe she wants to be more private with you. (a good thing in my opinion)

Also, you have been together for just 7 months. Maybe you can expect more fun times in the future that are worthy of her posting.

Don't worry about her past (she stated that to you). Focus on your current and future with you. The front windshield should always be larger than the rear-view mirror.

Very true.. thanks for your kind input

[luvedup]

Great. Create your own new life together. Don't mess this up with a lack of confidence because of stale fb pics.

 

Use logic, not anxiety or fear to deal with this. Keep saying to yourself "Ha! she with me, not him!".

Well yes you are very right, she broke up with her because her ex cheated. I guess i have more insecurities than I realised. I need to work on myself more maybe. Thankyou for your help. Much appreciated

[Hollyj]

Have you met most of her friends and family?

[justshine1]

What does daft mean

[Wiseman2]

What does daft mean

 

 

daft:

 

silly; foolish.

"don't ask such daft questions"

synonyms: absurd, preposterous, ridiculous, ludicrous, farcical, laughable;

infatuated with.

"we were all daft about him"

[vesper]

Yeh exactly.. she just said "its in the past" and when i said i didnt like it she took them off not only that she also still wears pandora jewellery her ex bought her and one of the charms are two intertwined love hearts. She said they dont have any sentimental value to her, she just likes the jewellery.. i dont know what to think.

 

Don't be jealous! The fact is that she is with you NOT her ex. Try to have some confidence in this new relationship and make it last. Take the initiative on social media if she does not.

[DancingFool]

Are you being daft? Well....yes yes you are.

 

Please live in the real world and never ever use Fakebook as some kind of a measuring stick of the health and success of relationships.

For all the plastered bs you saw, look at reality - they broke up AND he cheated on her. How happy is that really????

 

Perhaps your gf has become wiser from the experience and decided to keep her life more reserved and private, more in the real life and less about FB. That's a good thing. Privacy in general is a very good and important thing.

 

Anyway, if looking at pics of someone's past shakes you this much, you really do need to work on yourself a whole lot more. Do try to live in the present, here and now, enjoy what you are doing today with her and sounds like you do a lot. Do not let your insecurities poison what you have. Appreciate every moment, because that is your life right now.

[luvedup]

Have you met most of her friends and family?

 

Yep, iv met them

[happyfrank]

I agree, but my issue is she was so happy to share her fun times with her ex with the world on fb but not at all like that with me. I feel like i dont compare..

 

That's because what happens in private it's more important compared to what you post on social media.

 

No reason to be jealous. She is with you.

 

The end.

 

Good luck.

[luvedup]

Are you being daft? Well....yes yes you are.

 

Please live in the real world and never ever use Fakebook as some kind of a measuring stick of the health and success of relationships.

For all the plastered bs you saw, look at reality - they broke up AND he cheated on her. How happy is that really????

 

Perhaps your gf has become wiser from the experience and decided to keep her life more reserved and private, more in the real life and less about FB. That's a good thing. Privacy in general is a very good and important thing.

 

Anyway, if looking at pics of someone's past shakes you this much, you really do need to work on yourself a whole lot more. Do try to live in the present, here and now, enjoy what you are doing today with her and sounds like you do a lot. Do not let your insecurities poison what you have. Appreciate every moment, because that is your life right now.

 

Thanks for telling me how it is.. i agree with you. I think it all stems from previously being in a relationship where that girlfriend kept us a secret then left me and openly had a relationship with another girl i know. I guess i just want my current girlfriend to be proud to be with me..i couldnt care less about facebook pics..its just she seemed so happy with her ex and they had so much fun and i want her to be that happy with me.

[Matt3939]

I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually you come across those type of pics specially now that we are digital. I know I compare myself who wouldnt? I think that's normal. I wouldn't worry those people are in the past. Good luck

[luvedup]

I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually you come across those type of pics specially now that we are digital. I know I compare myself who wouldnt? I think that's normal. I wouldn't worry those people are in the past. Good luck

 

Many thanks. I wish id never looked. 🙈

[UbberL]

I'm in the same boat. It's so frustrating

[iramency]

I think you should cherish every day with her, because pictures or not, you are with her now. Speaking from experience, jealousy is a big turn off and can push people away. So even if you are jealous keep it under wraps and don't overthink things. It's natural to creep the ex's pictures, gay or straight we've all done it...but who gets to hug and kiss her at night? You. :strawberry: