What to do when an ex reaches out after no contact

[Havefaith2]

Hi,

 

So I have been in no contact with my ex for a few weeks, and he recently sent me an email and some text messages begging me to give him a second chance. He's saying how he wants to come home and be a family again with his girls, how he misses our memories, how he ed up big time by cheating on me and wants to show me the love I deserve. I find it all to be very sad, we were together for 2.5 years, I was good to him and his kids. But, he is still with that other woman and he is saying he's only with her because he's settling..I haven't responded, he has been trying to get through to me through mutual friends but I have kept strong and haven't budged. Just wondering if anyone has been in this situation. It does break my heart, I do still have feelings for him and it's so sad to me that he had to ruin what we had and is now realizing the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

[Wiseman2]

What a sleaze. This is a perfect use for the block and delete feature on all your social media and devices.

he recently sent me an email and some text messages begging me to give him a second chance.

he is still with that other woman

[gebaird]

You're not the one hurting him; he hurt himself (and you) by choosing to cheat. He may be saying all the right words, but that doesn't make up for all the wrong actions.

 

Tell the mutual friends you don't want to hear anything about him at the moment while you work to heal. If they can't respect that boundary, end the friendship.

 

I recommend forgiving him, for your own peace. But letting him back into your life? That's something else entirely, and doing so could lead to a lot more pain than you are already experiencing.

[Betterwithout]

Sorry you are dealing with a broken heart.

 

Silence is golden, so continue with NC. It is sadly the final nail in the coffin.

 

Time for some "me" time, so dust off that bucket list you have and check some things off you have always wanted to do.. It will help you while you grieve.

[DancingFool]

Under the circumstance ignore him and tell your mutual friend that you never want him mentioned in your presence again.

 

Unfortunately, you have seen the truth about this man - he is a cheater. Sad thing about cheaters is that they get off on the chaos, lying, manipulation and the adrenaline rush and power they feel from that. He doesn't miss you and he doesn't really think you are all that, he is simply seeking a power trip - can he manipulate you back into his rotating stable and continue to dupe you silly.

 

All those ego flattering lines he is trying to feed you....I swear all cheaters read from the same script. They are just lines. I hope you stay strong, never ever buy into them and move on with your life without him.

 

I mean do you see the irony of his words and actions? He is telling all that stuff while living with another woman, so he actively trying to cheat on her while trying to tell you he is a changed man who has seen the light.....ugh....yuck.....

[greta96]

Yes I am going through this as we speak. Same-ish situation, and he is still with the woman he cheated on me with. Same thing, he "isn't in love with her but he's just settling, the relationship is just there and comfortable".

I gave him a chance, I heard him out. I let him show me he's changed.

He didn't. All he wanted was to fool around on that idiot he's with, and when I made it clear to him that I wasn't going to be the other woman (or one of them anyway), he has now been distancing himself again. Gone are the sweet words, promises, phone calls. Guess what? By believing him and giving him this chance, I undid all the progress I had made in the few years we were apart, and I am now back to square one.

 

Save yourself the pain and frustration and block him now.

[Hollyj]

Reread, over and over:

 

"Boyfriend cheated on me, how do I move on?

Hello,

I recently found out that my BF of 2.5 years was cheating on me with someone much younger. I was involved with his two daughters and his family and we did things together like most couples would. I confronted him about the cheating, and he denied it at first, he was trying to talk to me and get me back all week while he was posting "I love You" all over the other girls FB account. I confronted the girl, not to be crazy jealous but just to let her know that he was lying to her and to me. I found out today that it looks like they are still together, and I am trying to find a way to move on from this. It really hurts my self esteem, how I view myself as a person. I loved him and his daughters, I did a lot for them, brushed their hair, made them food, I was their "stepmom" so to speak. I just don't understand why he would do this. It angers me that they are still together, it makes me feel like I wasn't enough. I just don't understand how he could be so in love with her and sweep me under the rug like I was yesterdays news. I just don't know how to move on from this. Any advice would help. "

 

If you take him back, he will do it again. Why haven't you blocked him?????

[reinventmyself]

So . . .He's texting you from another woman's bed and wants you to believe he's changed. LOL That's laughable.

 

He says he recognizes that he f-d up by cheating on you and wants to show you the love you deserve???

And. . what exactly is he doing now? He's cheating on the woman he is with.

Is this an example of the love he has to offer? Pass.

 

Gotta hand it to these idiots who want to stay warm in one bed and monkey branch into another one.

Personally . .I don't give cheaters chances. Period.

 

AND I wouldn't give anyone a chance until which time they have ended a relationship, moved on and closed the door tightly behind them

and are emotionally available to date again.

[Hollyj]

OMG! I missed the bit that he is still with the gf.

 

OP, you should be insulted by all of this!

[holistic17]

I feel so sad for your position. And his 2 daughters! How many women must they know to be their dad's girlfriends? I dread to think what lessons they are learning from this scum.

He may be telling you he's settling, but I can bet you any money that's what he was texting his now girlfriend when talking about you. He tries to play you women off against each other indirectly. So each of you will feel more special than the other. He actually doesn't love either of you. He only cares about his own gratification and will say anything to get his selfish short term needs met. I can also bet you that he has deep rooted ego and mental health issues.

I agree with the other replies here. Block all routes of contact. Now. Don't allow your friends to tell you anything. You'll feel more empowerment by taking control of the situation from your end. You would never trust him again and it will only be a matter of time before he looks to stray again when things settle and become complacent in his mind. Leave him behind! Take back your own life, because it's the only one you can control. Take time to heal. This is your power.

[Matt3939]

U should relish in this fact. He cheated went to someone else. Now he regrets it. I'd love this if it happened to me. Yes you might have feelings but stay NC don't give this guy time of day. He's the one who has to live with his decision. Good luck

[catfeeder]

You were useful to him because his kids liked you.

 

The woman he's still with probably isn't good babysitter material. If he can manipulate you into going back to playing the nanny for his kids, that would make it easier on him to keep messing around.

 

Don't fall for it.

[Honeybal]

If he really wants to be with you he will leave this other woman and show up at your door. Otherwise he's just fishing for attention.