Alion Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Hello everyone. This is my only hope for some meaningful advice. I've tried talking to my sister (who told me the usual: "it will work out"). I have an artificial relationship with my family and no friends left to talk to. Please help me. Here it goes: I'm in a 2 years long relationship with my girlfriend, who's the same age as me (25). Let's call her Monica. As in almost every case first months were fine. Then came some minor problems like different opinions and wrong communication ways. We tried sorting them out but new complications arose. I was very impatient and shouted at her (in my alcohol-driven family only that solved anything but it's no excuse). She on the other hand was always too cold for me, chaotic in nature but ambitious as hell and very intelligent and beautiful. After a year of that bickering - we finally decided to respect each other - love came in, we moved together, I stopped shouting and Monica became more caring. Even that hasn't unfortunately helped. More problems started showing up (like no time alone, money, me being the only one initiating sex, having less time for my ambitions and so on). With all of those issues I decided to finish the relationship (a year after first meeting up). She however started crying and telling me she's sorry. I just couldn't do it. My good feelings for her just flooded me. This happened like 6 times throughout our relationship. In between that our conversations became honest and deeper. Monica's tolerance grew, mine as well. Out of nowhere however came countless questions about her beauty. Not if she is beautiful but is she the most beautiful girl for me. I complimented her daily and it puzzles me even today (the problem persists). Then for 4 MONTHS STRAIGHT thousands of questions about being honest kept hitting me from every direction. I'm not perfect but throughout our 2 years I lied to her maybe 2-3 times and never thought about cheating (lies were not serious tho). I kept my composure and learned to be calm and understanding but these inquiries irritated me (to say the least). Last month I told her that I explained everything and she must stop. Monica agreed.....She asks me still. Now even phone calls make me furious. I know that she will ask me those questions sooner or later. She just promises me the same things. I turned into an irritated, sad and unpleasant boyfriend. I feared it and it happened. I feel lost. My last relationship ended in an affair (ex left me for an older guy). That taught me to not be a kid (I was not caring for her). I decided to find real love. Real and honest relationship. Now I don't know if I'm capable of feeling love. I beg you - help me. It is hard to pour my feelings onto a web page. It is hard to show you everything for you to understand. I have feelings for her and don't want to hurt her. I could survive alone - but what is life without love? Please respond truthfully. I will rely on your answers highly. Thank you. Link to comment
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