Trying No Contact with my long distance ex

[coffinqt]

Hi, I originally posted this in the 'Getting Back Together' thread, but I thought I'd also post this here.

 

(I apologize in advance for the long post).

 

A little over a year ago, I fell in love with someone long distance. He was from Northern Ireland but lives in England. I'm from the US. We never met, but we were best friends and ended up falling in love just by talking. I never told anyone about him really, because I know most wouldn't understand, and I had to keep it a secret from my family for the same reason, and I feared I'd no longer have privacy from them, which is something I value since they are very mentally and emotionally abusive. His family and some friends knew about me and were very accepting, and his sister suggested that we meet each other soon, even if it was in secret, because we don't want to end up missing each other too much. He and I brushed it off because we thought we'd be fine.

 

Well eventually the distance made his feelings fade away and decided it would be too difficult to pursue me. This was in early October. I initiated No Contact with him for almost a month (probably as long as I should have kept it going) and got back in contact with him in late November. I was casually dating another guy by then, and that made him realize he wasn't as over me as he thought. We then decided that if we were to meet at least once in real life, we could try again. In the meantime as friends, we kinda had to put that aside and pretend like we don't have feelings for one another.

 

Flash forward to now and he doesn't want anything to do with it anymore, and is looking to date other people. He says even if he does have regrets of doing so, he doesn't want to tell me out of fear he'll hurt me again, but he also admits that he has a small chance of being wrong about it all. Still, he insists that this is 100% what he wants right now. So I initiated No Contact again. I blocked him on Facebook (he knows I did, I told him I would), but still have him added on my other social media accounts.

 

I wish we could have just met, I don't want to go my whole life wondering if we were meant to be together or not, and he and I both know that if we did meet, everything would be fine. I know at the base of everything he still has feelings for me, even though he says the distance is what made them fade. This distance took its toll on us in ways neither of us could have predicted. If we could have met earlier, we would have, but he's in debt and trying to move out of his flat, and I'm stuck with being reliant on my family for the time being.

 

He was genuinely heartbroken at the fact that I stopped talking to him again, despite accepting it. I just hope he changes his mind. I want him to be happy, but I don't want him to move on before at least giving us a chance, because real life is different than just messaging and Skyping all the time.

 

I pathetically resorted to begging when we last talked a few days ago, and I just hope I didn't screw up my chances at possibly getting him back. In the meantime, I need advice, and help with No Contact. Thank you.

[Wiseman2]

Replied in your other identical thread: