Charlie100 Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Hello, this is something so unlike me but I feel trapped and confused. I have split up with my first girlfriend of 3 years around 4 months ago. We got on very well and we and both loved each other so much, we just argued about stupid and sometimes it would get too much for the both of us. We also lived quite a fair distance apart so we would only really see each other on the weekend unless either she or I would go out. This was one of the issues I struggled with, we barely had any time with each other and our life's became purely texting each other. A lot of things can get confused when you are reading text and we'd often argue over mixed wires. She suffers from depression which at times really effected our relationship, I did my best to cope with her and keep her happy but sometimes I would just loose my temper. This obviously didn't help either and I admit that is my draw back, the way we shouted at each other something she could never forget. I on the other hand am very laid back and never hold grudges and would always try to make it up to her. We split up around August 2016 but after a few weeks she contacted me and asked that we give it another try. I agreed, the first 2 weeks where great we got on so well it was like it was all fresh again however she'd never say that we where actually a couple again. The arguments slowly started up again and my confusion settled in, I was unsure what was happening in our relationship confused as to if we where really back together or not. Due to her depression I just played along as I knew her mind works in a complete different way, she deals with things unlike any other person I know. Obviously eventually it got too much for me and I asked what was happening with us, I told her I can't cope any more and ended it without any real thought. She said "If this is it then it has to be it" and blocked me on every form of communication, phone, whatsapp, Facebook everything! Again its her way of dealing with it and I totally get that. We both agreed to never contact one another again as it would be too hard for a third break-up. At first I was actually feeling fine... I was going out with my friends a lot more and just really enjoying myself. Then 4 months later I'm on a 'Getting back together' thread asking for help from random strangers, not that there is anything wrong with this its just this is so unlike me but my feelings for her have drove me here. 4 months it took me to feel something, I mean i was upset in those 4 months just nothing like I do now. It just hit me, its like 4 months of pain built up at once.I have been dreaming about her every night hardly sleeping, not wanting to talk to anyone, I've read all our old messages as its the only thing that makes me feel like we're together again, remembering all the moments, holidays and good times we've had. In a way I wish our break-up wasn't so civil, I wish she cheated on me so I could hate her but we both knew it was coming and we casually agreed to end it. This is the part I can not figure out, I don't want to bring up all the heartache for her again by messaging her. And I don't think I could handle her rejecting me, the option i have come up with is to ask her best friend how my now ex is feeling and if it was a good idea to get in contact with her again. If you have to this far I really appreciate it, sorry if I've bored you with my problems I have just never ever felt like this before. I need to get this off my chest and in some way, even if no one reads this its helped a tiny bit. In a way I'd love for her to come across this and realise its me. I miss her so much. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.