Husband not perfoming good sexually

[anicole]

My husband and I have been married for 4 years, I love him very much. The problem is when we have sex he doesn't last long like maybe 2 minutes.

 

He is 44 years old I am 32 years old, he's tried over the counter supplements drinking ginger and honey too, nothing seems to work. He is never ready for a second round because he is too tired, and usually falls asleep.

 

I don't know what to do, has anyone else dealt with this before, he does pleasure me orally before we have sex. Should I be complaining because I want more?

[Clio]

Was it always like that? If yes, then it is doubtful that it will change without medical help. Has he been to a doctor? Identifying the cause would be a good first step towards finding out what your options are.

[Dahl]

I don't view this as you complaining, rather, you love your husband and you are trying to improve this aspect of your relationship. You make perfect sense.

 

Would you please elaborate a little more, if possible? Such as when did you notice this, is it a recent development and are you aware of any potential influences - stress, change of schedule, etc., as well as - you mention his taking sone supplements - has he seen a doctor about this, perhaps an urologist?

[yatsue]

Ever heard of a penis ring?

[Matt3939]

Lol @ ginger and honey. I only heard they make the phallus bigger. Guess then you have a whole other problem. What about the stop and go method? Does he view this as a problem?

[anicole]

I don't view this as you complaining, rather, you love your husband and you are trying to improve this aspect of your relationship. You make perfect sense.

 

Would you please elaborate a little more, if possible? Such as when did you notice this, is it a recent development and are you aware of any potential influences - stress, change of schedule, etc., as well as - you mention his taking sone supplements - has he seen a doctor about this, perhaps an urologist?

He is a police officer so his stress level changes everyday, it's been like this for the last 2 years or so. My gynecologist is the one the one that recommended the ginger and honey because it's natural and has worked for him.

[Wiseman2]

As long as he is an alcoholic, don't expect a stellar sexual performance. This affects you but it isn't about you. It's about his heavy drinking.

 

Sadly, you are wasting your time with folk remedies when alcohol is the problem, both in your marriage and in the bedroom.

he is the most un-affectionate person I know. When we have sex he doesn't last long it's only 2 minutes. My husbands talks about going to the doctor for viagara, hasn't even made the move yet.what entertains him is sitting at home getting drunk and passing out.

[anicole]

As long as he is an alcoholic, don't expect a stellar sexual performance. This affects you but it isn't about you. It's about his heavy drinking.

 

Sadly, you are wasting your time with folk remedies when alcohol is the problem, both in your marriage and in the bedroom.

I completely agree

[anicole]

Ever heard of a penis ring?

What does that do?

[lostandhurt]

I remember you asking this before in another thread.

 

There are several over the counter lotions and creams made by KY and others that will work. Go by the drug store and buy one and give it a try.

 

Lost

[Dahl]

As long as he is an alcoholic, don't expect a stellar sexual performance. This affects you but it isn't about you. It's about his heavy drinking.

 

Sadly, you are wasting your time with folk remedies when alcohol is the problem, both in your marriage and in the bedroom.

 

I agree with Wiseman, emphatically. The alcoholic element is a game-changer.

 

Is he seeking help for this matter, or is he already in therapy to address it?

[tattoobunnie]

While he may be sober when you two make love, the regular alcohol consumption is restricting blood flow to his little friend.

 

Try Gingko Biloba to increase oxygen levels, and cutting back on the sauce. Avoid missionary and rear entry, and stick to being on top instead. Or he should go down on you first, then when you're close, do the deed together.

[anicole]

I remember you asking this before in another thread.

 

There are several over the counter lotions and creams made by KY and others that will work. Go by the drug store and buy one and give it a try.

 

Lost

Sorry, I don't remember what I post. He wants to have the drive to have sex, and when he does it doesn't last. Lotions and creams I'm not sure if they would work.

[yatsue]

What does that do?

 

It is used on the base and constricts the blood flow, making an erection last longer.

 

"A penis ring is a ring that can be placed around a penis, usually at the base, primarily to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining an erection for a much longer period of time.

 

Penis rings can be worn around just the penis or both the penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone, though this is usually called a testicle cuff. Rings can be made of a variety of different materials, most commonly leather, rubber, or silicone, though nylon and metal are also used either as the main component or part of the closure.

 

When used in cases of erectile dysfunction they are known by various names such as "erection ring" and "tension ring"."

[Wiseman2]

The alcohol and performance connection is well known. Read up about it.

He wants to have the drive to have sex, and when he does it doesn't last. Lotions and creams I'm not sure if they would work.

[Matt3939]

I don't agree with the whole pens ring idea. If getting hard was the problem yeah maybe. She sais it's him lasting that's the problem. I have tried those things. I don't see how having an even harder erection would help the manner of lasting longer. It might actually have the opposite effect.

[yatsue]

I don't agree with the whole pens ring idea. If getting hard was the problem yeah maybe. She sais it's him lasting that's the problem. I have tried those things. I don't see how having an even harder erection would help the manner of lasting longer. It might actually have the opposite effect.

 

It is not meant in order to get an erection, it is used to make an erection last longer. It's not supposed to be harder...did it have the opposite effect with you? While it may not be everyone's cup of tea, it's worth a go.

[Wiseman2]

It doesn't treat whiskey-wang. That is neurological. Heavy drinking ruins the mechanisms both short term and long term.

 

As long as that's happening gimmicks and toys won't correct it. is not meant in order to get an erection, it is used to make an erection last longer. "Alcohol is a depressant, and using it heavily can dampen mood, decrease sexual desire, and make it difficult for a man to achieve erections or reach an orgasm while under the influence. In fact, overdoing it on booze is a common cause of erectile dysfunction"

[lostandhurt]

Sorry, I don't remember what I post. He wants to have the drive to have sex, and when he does it doesn't last. Lotions and creams I'm not sure if they would work.

 

They are cheap so why not try?

 

This isn't going to fix itself.

 

Lost

[aroud]

Anything other than reducing the drinking is not going to help in the long term. Your husband is dealing with the stress through booze, and a side effect is the impact on your sex life. So take the problem back to the root causes, stress and booze.

 

Two suggestions. Job change to potentially move into a less stress-inducing environment, or he tries to deal with his stress another way. Depending on how he's wired, one suggestion is that you tell him to hit the gym after work for an hour. He'll be back later of course, but the upside is he'll have worked off adrenalin and over time the stress impact may help wean him off the booze. Worth a go?