Hextalfan Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Read a lot of posts haven't found one that matches my situation, so here goes. Met a woman online 14 weeks ago, met in person 10 weeks ago. In the beginning we both said we weren't ready for a relationship. For the past 8 weeks we have seen each other almost everyday, and we end up in bed almost every time we see each other. I have become very attached. About 4 weeks ago I told her that I want to be in an official relationship with her. She responded "I have feelings for you but I'm not ready for a relationship." About 5 days after that she slept with an ex and the next day she tells me what she did and that she doesn't deserve me. I just let it go and told her that I still want to spend time with her and see where things go. About 2 weeks ago she reminds me that were not official, and she's not ready to settle, that in the past that's what she did, "get into a relationship with the first great guy that came along that would be you but I want to do things differently this time" and then informs me that she will be going on a date with someone in a few days. Again I just let it go. Other than that one day when she had a date, we have been together everyday the past two weeks. I acted like those two things didn't bother me, but in actuality they really do, in fact the day she went on a date I punched a hole in the wall. I have really never met someone like her, we have so much in common, I can be myself around her, I find her beautiful, she has so much passion, and she makes me feel alive. I don't want to give that up, but don't know how much longer I can take it if she continues to flirt with guys online, goes on another date, or sleeps with someone else again. What is the best thing for me to do? If anymore information is needed for an answer just ask.
Almira23 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 If I was in your position then I would leave. She is keeping her options open and looking for someone else. It's not that she isn't ready for a relationship, she is just not ready to date you. Whatever the reason may be, she sees something within you that is not compatible to what she is looking for. While you are waiting around for her hoping that she changes her mind, she is sleeping with and dating other men. Just imagine how you are going to feel when you find out that she has decided to be in a relationship with someone else. I would save yourself the trouble and heartache and end things with her. Let her know that if she isn't looking for a relationship with you then there is no reason for you to be together. Don't put your life on hold for someone who doesn't care about you. I don't think this "Relationship" will progress to anything more than friends with benefits.
DancingFool Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Step away from her before you punch something you get arrested for. Seriously, what are you doing to yourself here? She is so blatantly not that into you, it's not even funny. You think she is all that? I think you are missing a red flag the size of China. If she had any care, empathy or even respect for you, knowing how much you like her, she would either date you exclusively or would have cut you loose long ago, because that would be the humane thing to do. This stringing you along thing that she is doing is cruel, brutal, and totally self centered. Get rid of her while your sanity is still intact.
Krankor Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 She knows what you want; you've made it clear, and she's rather emphatically said no, not just verbally but by her actions. I wouldn't recommend waiting around and trying to convince her to be exclusive, unless you enjoy mind games and having your heart stabbed repeatedly. Just tell her that you are looking for an official girlfriend and that you obviously aren't going to find it with her, and then walk away. She probably likes having you in her back pocket, so don't be surprised if she chases after you or even offers you a relationship. However, given some of her behavior--not technically wrong since she hasn't agreed to be exclusive but somewhat unhealthy and impulsive nonetheless--you may not want to take her up on it.
Matt3939 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I agree with dancingfool on this one. It's one thing to take things slow ect. She's actively seeking others.
Heavy Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Mate I have been in the same position as you before, do yourself the favour and walk away. Not only will you lose your heart, confidence but also your mind in not a good way.
Hextalfan Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 For the past week I have stopped chasing her. She has been the one chasing me. Today she plastered her Facebook with pictures of us, and of her with my kids. Could this mean something?
Hextalfan Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Read a lot of posts haven't found one that matches my situation, so here goes. Met a woman online 14 weeks ago, met in person 10 weeks ago. In the beginning we both said we weren't ready for a relationship. For the past 8 weeks we have seen each other almost everyday, and we end up in bed almost every time we see each other. I have become very attached. About 4 weeks ago I told her that I want to be in an official relationship with her. She responded "I have feelings for you but I'm not ready for a relationship." About 5 days after that she slept with an ex and the next day she tells me what she did and that she doesn't deserve me. I just let it go and told her that I still want to spend time with her and see where things go. About 2 weeks ago she reminds me that were not official, and she's not ready to settle, that in the past that's what she did, "get into a relationship with the first great guy that came along that would be you but I want to do things differently this time" and then informs me that she will be going on a date with someone in a few days. Again I just let it go. Other than that one day when she had a date, we have been together everyday the past two weeks. I acted like those two things didn't bother me, but in actuality they really do, in fact the day she went on a date I punched a hole in the wall. I have really never met someone like her, we have so much in common, I can be myself around her, I find her beautiful, she has so much passion, and she makes me feel alive. I don't want to give that up, but don't know how much longer I can take it if she continues to flirt with guys online, goes on another date, or sleeps with someone else again. What is the best thing for me to do? If anymore information is needed for an answer just ask. The past week I stopped chasing her, she has been chasing me. Today she plastered her Facebook with pictures of us together, and of her with my kids. Could that mean something?
HeartGoesOn Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I'm sorry, but since you're both currently going through a divorce, this is not the time to be thinking of another relationship. No offense, and this is JMO.
justshine1 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 For the past week I have stopped chasing her. She has been the one chasing me. Today she plastered her Facebook with pictures of us, and of her with my kids. Could this mean something? I think she did this. ...to show she cares. But again...that's strange....because that's very open to the public. Unless she changes the view setting 's. .so only you would see it and feel special but really no one else can? Cuz that's a thing... How old are you two and I'm wondering....what is so fabulous about this chick?
Hextalfan Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Im 34 she's 33. When my wife left me I said to myself this time I won't take just anyone, they must have xyz, and she has that. We have all the same common interest, smart, funny, attractive, honest, great with my kids, amazing in bed, so much passion, I can be myself, she brought out of me the things I thought had died I started showing affection again started caring about more than just my kids, started showing passion again, started smiling more than anything else, there is so much she does for me can do for me, for the past 3 years I was dead inside she has brought me alive again, I see a world of possibilities instead of a world of hate and negativity. The only difference between us is I like to think and plan things out where she is more spontaneous.
katrina1980 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 and I'm wondering....what is so fabulous about this chick? She may be no more fabulous then another chick, except for the fact they have a chemistry, a certain energy, a polarity, that belongs only to them, which makes her more special and fabulous than another chick.
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