Daisymay03 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I have been dating a guy who is 40, I am 27. We have been together almost a year now, and things are good, but we have some reoccurring issues that I'm not sure how to handle. 1. He was married to his first wife until 6 years ago and they have two kids. He always says everything was so great and perfect, etc with them. He goes on that everyone says they were the best couple and everything. He told me she was having affairs constantly and that's why they divorced, he wanted to fix things and her to stop drinking, partying and cheating and she wouldn't. He talks a lot about how good things were with her and about her family a lot including saying stuff about her attractiveness. He says he was really messed up from their breakup and that's how he ended up with his second ex-wife. 2. Second girl he met and says was a sort of bad rebound thing. He says she was "safe" an average girl that was also divorced. He met her at an online dating website. She was going to law school, had similar interests, good family and inherited a house and farm which he is into. He says that she lied about taking birth control early in their relationship, which caused him to also have a son with her. Because she got pregnant they decided to do a quick marriage, he sold his old house and moved in with her. He says as soon as they were married things went bad and she became manipulative, he was giving her money all the time, borderline abusive tendencies to him. He left her a few months before he and I met but was still going through the divorce legally. Long story short, he doesn't go a single day without talking about one of them if not both. I understand that they never will entirely be out of the picture due to them having children together and a past, but I find it bothersome to keep hearing about how great someone's dad was, how much better his old house was, about his ex wives, etc. He says he doesn't want to ever get married or have anymore kids one day and the next he calls me his wife. I find this hard to deal with and it hurts my feelings because I do want those things. He knows this, and always says stuff like he doesn't want to lose me and what not. I have no problem and love having his kids down to visit. When he isn't talking about his ex's and prior lives with them, things are great. He's a little bit of a harmless flirt but over all we have all the same interests and work very very well together and are like best friends. I'm in grad school, working, doing ok. No prior marriages and I don't have kids. I'm just afraid to dive too deep into a relationship with someone who I'm not sure is over their ex wives or not, and changes if he wants to get married/have kids every other day. I know it's still early on in the relationship but I don't know how to handle it. I'm afraid to shut down communication if I tell him I don't want to hear about his ex wives, and afraid to end our relationship if I pressure an answer out of him on marriage and kids when we have only been dating around a year. We have been living together for 6 months. Link to comment
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