Shifty23 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Hey everyone i dont know where else to go for help so i figured id try here. Ill try to keep it short and simple. Ive been with my girlfriend since i was 16 and she was 15 im now 29 so its been quite a long relationship for us youngins. We had a prriod about 5-6 years ago where we agreed to "break up" for about a year I guess just because, we mutually agreed on it, there werent any issues or anything. So fast foward about 2 years after we got back together (i know it seems invasive but i was trusting my gut) i went through her phone and found a message from a guy she went to college with and she wrote how great their sex was she claims it was an ongoing joke they had and she never had sex with him. Now fast foward to about a year ago (again trusting my gut) i went through her phone and found her talking to another guy she had met during our seperation, hadnt done anything i know of but she was calling him babe which made me very uneasy. Now this past friday (once agan trusting my gut) i go through her phone and she was talking to a guy she worked with over a year ago at a previous job and they were planning to meet up for a drink that night. I work 2nd shift mind you and i was getting out early that night so she cancelled on him and deleted the txt the next day before i confronted her. Shes claims shes never hung out with him outside of her old job but wanted to catch up with her old friend. Now she claims these guys are her friends when i knew nothing about any of them until i snooped through her phone. She denies having cheated on me ever. She says she randomly deletes her texts thats why she deleted that one 2 days ago yet she has txts from 2 years ago. She claims she deleted it cause she knew id get mad if i saw it and "she woild have told me if they did meet up" she also is constantly on snapchat she even said how she talks to this dude on there which i find even sketchier. Weve never had relationship issues untill all this began after our stupid ass "breakup" and i love the outta her now all my trust is lost in her and i dont know what to do. Link to comment
Lester Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Breakup, and spend some time thinking how you would like the rest of your life to be. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I think she outgrew the relationship a while ago but hasn't had the courage to break it off for good. You've been together a very long time - where do you envision this going? It appears she is exploring other options anyway, so it's probably time you let each other go. Link to comment
Shifty23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 I think she outgrew the relationship a while ago but hasn't had the courage to break it off for good. You've been together a very long time - where do you envision this going? It appears she is exploring other options anyway, so it's probably time you let each other go. Uhhg my thoughts exactly, i envision this happening again at some point just when is the question. Its just so hard after building what I thought we had after all these years but i guess i have to put myself first Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Think of your own future here. Wouldn't you rather find someone you didn't feel compelled to monitor? Someone who wouldn't give you any reason to be suspicious? Link to comment
Shifty23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 I would, it would make me feel so much more at ease. I have a big decision to make. Thanks for your input Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Sorry to hear this. People date others after breakups. She seems to keep her collection of male friends close by. What made you look through her phone after all this time? we agreed to "break up" for about a year I guess just because, we mutually agreed on it. Weve never had relationship issues untill all this began after our stupid ass "breakup" and i love the outta her now all my trust is lost in her and i dont know what to do. Link to comment
holistic17 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I'm so sorry to hear this. Especially after so many years together. But as you have already said, you need to put yourself first. You followed your gut instinct everytime which told you to check her phone. Several times. It sounds like she might want you there as that's what she's so used to, but she also wants to explore attention from other men. It ultimately means she's not committed to the relationship anymore. Free yourself from it and tell her it's over. Get your own power back and take control. It will be hard and no doubt you'll miss her but don't give in if your gut instinct is telling you otherwise! Listen to it. It's never wrong. Link to comment
Anonymouse1 Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 This story sounds exactly like my own. I was with my girl on an off for 12 years. I found messages on her phone many times which she explained away. Finally i found a message which proved she had been unfaithful. I tried to work threw it for the sake of the kids she promised the world. 8 months later i found texts again confirming her cheating. I left that night and would never go back there. Although it hurt for a long time and times without my kids is awful, im much happier knowing that i can no longer be treated like dirt. Link to comment
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