CoolTainted Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 To start we were separated two months ago, divorce about a week. She moved in with her parents shortly after we separated. We didn't text or talk for about a week. Then she reached out every few days. Having found out she moved on ,i dated a few and not ready. Tried to go No Contact. Having financial issue's felt obligated to help. After hearing she was having issues living with parents I welcomed her to live with me till she found a place. Now to find out she still has feelings for me and really seems committed to her new boyfriend. He doesn't know she is living with me. We sleep in the same bed, even cuddled few times. No sex. I've accepted that we're not together. We are open about everything. Question is: Are we in the wrong? At odds in on this situation. She sounds happy with her bf. She doesn't want to let go of me. We were together 4 yrs.
limichelle Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 If she was sleeping on the couch there would be no problem but in your bed with you!!! Plus she has feelings??!! She needs to break up with the boyfriend because she clearly isn't ready to be with anyone. She also needs to find her own place or fix the issues at home because staying with you isn't healthy either!
CoolTainted Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 Just to clear up we are grown and not in our twenties anymore. The home issue I can already say that won't be fixed cause it's no her that is the issue. Breaking up with him isn't that easy. When we go places we go where people he know's won't see us. If she did he is the type to come after me.
CoolTainted Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 I do agree with you on that it's wrong cause she has one. This is my first ex that wouldn't let me go.
limichelle Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Okay fine put her on the spare bedroom or couch but I don't care if you are fifty two she doesn't need to be sharing a bed with you it just confuses things more!
CoolTainted Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Okay fine put her on the spare bedroom or couch but I don't care if you are fifty two she doesn't need to be sharing a bed with you it just confuses things more! I have make a makeshift bed for spare bedroom. Thank You for the advice. I'm already confused as it is.
angrythoughts Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Her being with her boyfriend should say enough though. I mean technically you owe him no loyalty so it's not really your business but if she wanted to be with you she would have. She can't let go of you or her current boyfriend apparently so her staying at your place, in your bed and cuddling is definitely not right.
CoolTainted Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Her being with her boyfriend should say enough though. I mean technically you owe him no loyalty so it's not really your business but if she wanted to be with you she would have. She can't let go of you or her current boyfriend apparently so her staying at your place, in your bed and cuddling is definitely not right. With all due respect to the man. Asked why she didn't live with him and she gave a good reason, Didn't know if it was truth. Would this be considered GIGS or anything in that nature? Or simple have your cake and eat it too.
angrythoughts Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Sounds like she's playing for both teams and will eventually end up booking up with you if you allow it. Is it impossible for her to stay somewhere else?
milly007 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 She's definitely having her cake and eating it, too. What she is doing is selfish and it seems that you're enabling her and encouraging this behaviour (i.e. - sleeping in the same bed, cuddling...knowing that she is in a relationship). I feel bad for her boyfriend. I'm sure he's completely clueless. If someone did this to me, I'd be heartbroken. This is so not right.
CoolTainted Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 There isn't that was told to me. She is suppose to move out soon.
CoolTainted Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Is it possible to have this thread deleted. Reading about everyone's comments I've come to the conclusion what is best.
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 So basically she's cheating and you are ok with it? Sounds like you're her backup plan. Why not tell her to either reconcile or live with her bf? Now to find out she still has feelings for me and really seems committed to her new boyfriend. He doesn't know she is living with me. We sleep in the same bed, even cuddled few times. No sex. She sounds happy with her bf. She doesn't want to let go of me.
boltnrun Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Is it possible to have this thread deleted. Reading about everyone's comments I've come to the conclusion what is best. Threads can't be deleted (refer to the terms that you agreed to when you created your account). However, I believe you can ask for a thread to be "closed".
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 What have you decided?Reading about everyone's comments I've come to the conclusion what is best.
CoolTainted Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 Decided that I need to ask her to move along. Going to grow some balls and let her do her own thing.
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