positiveone Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Girlfriend and I finalized the end of our 2.5 year relationship a month and a half ago. I'm bored out of my mind, my hours got cut back at my part time job so I only work 2 days a week. And non of my "friends" can hangout. Some don't even respond to texts. I'm on the verge of loosing it. My family is no where around and I am truly alone. Something deep inside me wants to start over, move somewhere completely different and start a new life, where I am now is not offering me ANYTHING. I need guidance, I'm bored stiff. It's hell, I don't want to sit here on weekends where everyone else goes out and I sit at home and stew in my own thoughts. It doesn't help me move on. (22male) Guidance please.
PatPatPat Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how difficult it is to be heartbroken and at the same time completely alone. You're still young and if it's possible for you to move somewhere else I think you should do it! It might be hard and hurt at first but in the end I think you'll feel better.
vesper Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Moving to a new place may be a good idea at first, but the reality is that where ever you go there you are and all of your problems will follow you. It is true you do need distraction so why don't you think about getting a second job or volunteering somewhere. Do you have any hobbies or do you take up any sports? Is your family somewhere else, can you get close to them? Hang in there, you will be just fine.
Wiseman2 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Sorry to hear this. To fill the void look for more work, take classes, join groups, clubs, sports, volunteer. Commit to a program of self improvement. Work out. Learn new stuff.
JaggerJim Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Moving to a new place sounds great, but you'll still be alone and will have to go out and make new friends, new job and new everything. So since your already in a place, you may aswell try to go out and do all those things within the place you are in now. It's hard, but you just need to start somewhere. Maybe start by looking for a new job, polish up your dating reseme, and see if there are any activities groups you want to join. Baby steps.
woodsrose10 Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 OP, are you in college? Living with your parents?
Hollyj Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Why are you only working part time???? Are you retired?
boltnrun Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 I moved away after a bad breakup and it was the best thing I ever did! Before I moved, I was doing early morning and after work drive-bys, I was "accidentally" sending him blank texts, I was lurking around his friends and family members prying information from them about him and his new girlfriend...in short, doing everything possible wrong. I moved several hundred miles away. It forced me to find a new job and make new friends. And it worked! I finally blocked him off social media and haven't communicated with him. I can't drive by or stalk his family and friends because I would have to drive for several hours lol. I found a new start to be liberating.
positiveone Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 TulipWriter, Im in college, all my buddies are in fraternities at other schools. I have 3-4 friends I can call up and hangout with usually but lately work has been consuming them. I work part time due to the fact that I am in college and my family helps in some ways.. making it so that i only have to work part time. I live with a friend in an apartment, but he's hardly home at all. f*ck.
J Miracle Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 If you want to move, go for it. Nothing wrong with a fresh beginning. But don't do it thinking that alone will solve the problem. You need interests. It sounds like your last relationship soaked up all of your individualism, and now your a husk of a man. Time to invent yourself. Welcome to your new life.
Hollyj Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 TulipWriter, Im in college, all my buddies are in fraternities at other schools. I have 3-4 friends I can call up and hangout with usually but lately work has been consuming them. I work part time due to the fact that I am in college and my family helps in some ways.. making it so that i only have to work part time. I live with a friend in an apartment, but he's hardly home at all. f*ck. Sorry, I thought you were older. You need to get out an involve yourself in things that interest you. Join clubs, volunteer, Meet ups etc.... Time to make more effort.
Krankor Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 OP, I got dumped last June and got into a similar rut. I wasted the summer and didn't do any of my normal things (kayaking, outdoor concerts, etc) that I usually look forward to summer for. In early September while the weather was still nice one day I just decided to take a mini road trip. I just looked up a town in my state where I had never been that had a name I kind of liked. I drove down roads I'd never been on with my iTunes cranked, drove to the small town, toured it's streets, stopped at a convenience store, filled up with gas, bought a couple slices of pizza and a diet Mountain Dew, then drove home. I knew as I was driving that even though I was still sad things hadn't worked out that I would be all right. It sounds silly, but it was enough to disrupt my pattern and get me back out and doing things. Find something to do today--it doesn't matter what as long as it's different--that will disrupt your pattern.
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