EnterTheVoid Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Today my 3 and half years of relationship ended. A little bit of backstory, i met this girl in college, motivated and ambitious and inspired me to become who i am today Few years into the relationship she starts to let go of herself. She loses her ambition, becomes unemployed. She says that she hates jobs and wants to become an entrepreneur, i try to support her every way i can, one year passes and no action is taken. Meanwhile i do my fulltime job, freelance in the night to make money Her bank account drops literally to zero. She's no longer able to meet me because she can't afford transport. She still refuses to get a job because she hates them. She promises to make money with freelancing, no action is taken, a dime isn't made I accept it as a part of the relationship and try to ignore it. But i get frustrated because we are no longer able to meet. Months pass by and i start complaining. We finally have a conversation. She says that we are not compatible. And we break up. That was it. I still love this girl but I'm mad at her for not making an effort to be financially responsible. Because things started falling apart only after it. For years i tried helping her, waited for her to change, but it never came. But after all this her reason for breaking up is that we are not compatible. I'm sad but I'm going to move on. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucasargeseanu Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 i met this girl in college, motivated and ambitious and inspired me to become who i am today The first thing that popped into my mind and I'm talking from my own experience is that you both got changed by time. Rest assured, I think you are the only reason you became who you are! Do not assign this accomplishment of yours on her and her alone. If you want you could say that you wanted to change for her but you are the reason it all happened. Few years into the relationship she starts to let go of herself. Your relationship , as you stated, was 3 and a half years long. Few years into the relationship means after 2 years? Was that the time you finished college? Probably she hates what she studied and doesn't see a future for her. I had a girlfriend that you describe perfectly and my feelings were in the exact same spot as yours. There are people and people. You cannot change those that do not want to change and nor should you. I accept it as a part of the relationship and try to ignore it. Clearly you cannot accept it and you should not. It's sad that some people cannot find the power to do things in the name of their own future if not for love or people that love them. I'm sad but I'm going to move on. The mature conclusion to the sad story. Kudos. Stay strong. Things would have gotten a lot worse to handle if this thing would have continued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Was this a LDR? Could you drive to her? Agree that she seems to have no ambition or success. What was she in college for? Does she live with her parents? Was there depression or drugs/drinking? Why did she just let herself go? What precipitated this conversation?She's no longer able to meet me because she can't afford transport. She still refuses to get a job because she hates them. She says that we are not compatible. And we break up. That was it. I still love this girl but I'm mad at her for not making an effort to be financially responsible. Because things started falling apart only after it. For years i tried helping her, waited for her to change, but it never came. But after all this her reason for breaking up is that we are not compatible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnterTheVoid Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 The first thing that popped into my mind and I'm talking from my own experience is that you both got changed by time. Rest assured, I think you are the only reason you became who you are! Do not assign this accomplishment of yours on her and her alone. If you want you could say that you wanted to change for her but you are the reason it all happened. Your relationship , as you stated, was 3 and a half years long. Few years into the relationship means after 2 years? Was that the time you finished college? Probably she hates what she studied and doesn't see a future for her. I had a girlfriend that you describe perfectly and my feelings were in the exact same spot as yours. There are people and people. You cannot change those that do not want to change and nor should you. Clearly you cannot accept it and you should not. It's sad that some people cannot find the power to do things in the name of their own future if not for love or people that love them. The mature conclusion to the sad story. Kudos. Stay strong. Things would have gotten a lot worse to handle if this thing would have continued. She loses interest in things fast. She's the kind of girl who would say i want to become a lawyer and one day she wakes up and tells you i want to become an astronaut During our last conversation she did not admit that being broke was the problem, what she said was that we were too different when in fact we had a lot in common Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnterTheVoid Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Was this a LDR? Could you drive to her? Agree that she seems to have no ambition or success. What was she in college for? Does she live with her parents? Was there depression or drugs/drinking? Why did she just let herself go? What precipitated this conversation? It wasn't long distance, i can't drive to her home because she lives with her parents, and the country I'm from that is not the norm. She was in college for the same thing i was, i don't want to say what exactly it is, let's say it was art. She was never diagnosed with depression, she doesn't drink or do drugs either. All she does is stay at home and watch movies and youtube. The conversation started because i was suffering from a chronic medical condition and i had to go to a doctor, i was scared and i communicated this to her expecting that she would offer to join me so that i would have some mental comfort. And she didn't and i was reminded of why she wouldn't be able to make it. I got upset and we started arguing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 When true love happens, nothing can break it apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnterTheVoid Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 Broke NC today and learned a great lesson. She ignored me. Whoever is reading this, don't make the mistake i did lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 ETV, I just read this post of yours after replying in the other thread you started. This woman is not a quality woman. You should feel GREAT that she's out of your life! Now you can learn more about attracting and dating women who are great for you, and you won't believe how glad you'll be that you didn't get stuck with this one. You will, however, be able to look back at her as a stepping stone toward what you've always really wanted once you're with an amazing woman. All relationships are gifts that teach us valuable things about ourselves if we're willing to practice self-reflection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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