Confused and deprived

[Hanalei94]

My husband and I have been married for a little over 4 years. We recently moved away from home, an ocean away from home. To a new place and a year into living here I met a guy who I have developed feelings for. I love my husband so much..but his sex drive is zero and mine is like a thousand. He gets home from work and sits on his phone, then is too tired to have sex. This guy I met..is amazing, he is handsome, he is kind, he is attentive, excited to see me, drives an hour to see me and never asks me to come to him. Nothing inappropriate has happened, but I find myself thinking of him when I lay down in bed, when I zone out he's on my mind, when I think of making love I think of him. I feel like the biggest piece of ...but I have begged my husband for a change for months..and nothing happens. I'm unhappy but I still love my husband so much. But this other guy...I'm so infatuated with him..his culture, his way of life, he is so interesting, we have so much in common and the way he looks at me when I talk makes me melt...I have no idea what to do and I have no one I can talk to and get serious advice from

[Wiseman2]

How did you meet if he's an hour away? You are already meeting up with him even though there's been no sex, so would you say it's an emotional affair?

a year into living here I met a guy who I have developed feelings for. drives an hour to see me and never asks me to come to him.

[Lester]

You missed the most important aspect of this guy..., he'll ruin your life.

 

"I have no idea what to do and I have no one I can talk to and get serious advice..."

1. Dump the sexual parasite. You may not know it, but there's millions of him everywhere. They don't marry!

2. Tell your husband about your feelings for other men, and if things don't change, you're going to leave him.

3. Follow through if he refuses.

4. After you're divorced, hookup with the parasite. Don't be surprised when he wants nothing to do with you.

5. Start your search for deceit man to marry.

 

This is not sarcasm!

So you too can understand, read as many posts here on ENA as you can.

[Betterwithout]

Did you know affairs don't just happen when you are in bed together? You are already in an affair.

 

You need to have heart to heart conversations with your husband about your feelings. Not beating around the bush. Let him know you have considered leaving because your sex drives aren't aligned.

Go to marriage counselling to discuss this. Could be useful for your husband to be getting a third party perspective.

 

Don't go behind your husbands back...it is so damaging. If he doesn't want to change, THEN divorce him. You can feel good that you gave him a chance,

and he won't be hurt nearly as much as being lied to. That is the way a marriage should end. honestly is the best policy.

[Hanalei94]

We met on the beach, he walked over and asked my friend for her lighter, he left his hat and wallet with us after he left so I ran after him and gave it to him and he just walked back with me to our spot and we talked for hours. Then we kept running into each other at the same beach and decided to exchange numbers to make it a regular thing. He lives an hour away but he comes to this spot to fish.

[Capricorn3]

You're already cheating. If there are issues in the marriage then the least you can do is try marriage counseling to give it a decent chance. Cheating is NEVER the answer.

[Wiseman2]

So it's an affair if you did all this intentionally. If a random stranger you pick up at the beach is this enticing to you, you may want to review what's wrong with your marriage, your life, etc.

 

Do you work? Are you lonely? Bored? Homesick? Reflect on these things because this random guy is not the solution to your issues and you know that, right?

Then we kept running into each other at the same beach and decided to exchange numbers to make it a regular thing.

[Hanalei94]

Wiseman2 yes I did all this intentionally...I like meeting new people and at the beginning it was just friendship. He knows so much about a topic we are both passionate about and so we immediately clicked. My husband knows all about him and didn't care becuase it purely was JUST friendship. Only recently did I start to develop feelings for him. I have tried for over a year now to get my husband to see a marriage counselor with me and he refuses. I see a therapist once a week and he won't ever join me. And yes I have a job, I work Monday through Friday, I'm homesick, and my friends where I am at currently are great but they aren't my best friend back home if that makes any sense.