Not sure what to do???

[bobajob]

I've wrote on here before regarding splitting up with an ex and got some good advice so wanted to try you all again.

 

I'm now over my ex and wouldn't get back with her even if she asked, but i just feel like I'm still bearing the wounds of the broken relationship. I met a girl on a boys holiday away and at first didn't think the relationship would go anywhere as we live quite far from each other, but in the weeks after coming back from the lads holiday she'd text me flirty things or ring all the time asking when i was going down to see her, which at the time even though i was interested in her i didn't fall for that much because of the distance.

 

Then i went to hers to see her and actually thought the whole thing could work and began falling for her but in the meantime she has lessened off with the flirty texts and telling me how much she misses me, she still texts and rings me everyday (even if i haven't text her) but i'm getting a vibe that she isn't as interested as before. Ive asked her if this was the case, as i don't want to plough all of my effort into being with someone who isn't interested and lives so far away, but she just responds by saying she is really looking forward to seeing me and i know that.

 

My questions then are, how do i take this forward? and am i just being overly paranoid because of how my last relationship ended?

[Ashley5886]

If you two aren't "official" then I wouldn't stress it. Casually date others as well and if your relationship grows with her then great and if not then...oh well.

[bobajob]

We're not official but she has said she'd like to make it official before i went and met her, as would i so i'm not really wanting to casually date others.

[Ashley5886]

Then maybe she just pulled the old bait and switch lol it happens!!

[Pretzel]

In answer to your question at the end: Yes. You have been burnt, and now you are scared and don't want to get too invested in case it all goes wrong.

 

Try not to overthink it, and go with your gut in terms of what feels right.

 

It's too early to have much certainty now anyway, you just have to enjoy it for what it is and see how it progresses naturally.

 

Good luck!

[Wiseman2]

Enjoy your freedom including holiday flings. No need to jump into a relationship right now.

I met a girl on a boys holiday away and i went to hers to see her and actually thought the whole thing could work and began falling for her.

[holistic17]

If she's still contacting you everyday then I'd say she is still interested. She might not still be saying what she did, but what we're your responses to her? If you didn't respond in the same manner, such as saying you miss her too, then she likely thought better than to put herself out there so much. Don't tar everyone with the same brush. If you do, then you'll end up subconsciously pushing this one away with your fear of rejection and it ending badly. Just take it as it is for now. Make sure you initiate contact too. Its good to be 50/50 as much as possible and women appreciate it. Just relax and enjoy seeing her.

[ShatteredMan]

bobajob: I know it sounds corny but do a "Skype date". My buddy does this all the time with girl on the other side of the country twice a week. Flys out to see her once a month. Things have gone well with this tactic.

 

Otherwise, see other women.