Dave jones192 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Finally after 2 years I am back together with my GF, and just like everyone on here, I came here about 1 year ago in so much pain, but the break up was actually about 2 years ago, and I want to come and post my success story to give people hope and inspiration!. It has to be some of the worst but most transformative years of my life, and it certainly has been a journey. My advice to anyone coming here fresh out of a break up: All the info you need is on here, there are a lot of wise words being spoken and all the people who post good advice (superdave, jeffster, obsessive (in getting back together really does happen), brownstone) and have really amazing bits of wisdom about relationship to share. HOWEVER if you are new here be warned there are also some very bitter and jaded people here who will tell you 'what you need to hear' in their opinion, just look back at some of my posts to see the responses I got. So my advice is you dont really need to post anything or ask for advice just read the words that have been said before by the people who are actually trying to help, if you post something you are more likely to get responses from the bitter people, all the people i listed above didnt reply to my messages (not that i expected them to), but it was their old posts that had all the wisdom in them, they were the ones i went back to re-read in times of weakness to find strength and courage. Here a list of the things that happened before I got my ex back (which are common with so many other peoples success stories) 1. I stopped being pathetic, begging, swearing my undying love (omg it was so embarassing), etc, it doesnt work, I got my self respect back. 2. I went NC eventually, and started to heal, it was painful, I tried to initiate LC at some point (see my posts) it went ok, but I could see that it wasnt going where I wanted it to, so i just went back to NC again, I didnt want to be pushy, I had already tried that approach 3. I honestly tried to understand the mistakes I made, and I went about correcting them, I went to therapy to deal with my issues. 4. I moved on in a sense, what I mean is I started to date others, and look for a future elsewhere, but the important point here is I also NEVER gave up hope, my gf is such a wonderful person that giving up hope is practically impossible, I dont think I ever could have totally given up, but I did learn to live with the situation I was in and begin to accept my loss. 5. I worked on myself, gym, concentrated on being happy, I was so miserable for so long I alienated myself from so many people, I started to allow myself a few minutes in the morning to feel sorry for my self, and then the rest of the day I made the conscious effort to be happy, eventually I just started being happy again without having to reserve time each day for being miserable. So my GF messaged a few weeks ago, it started off slow just conversation and catching up but the connection was there and I think we both needed this time to grow individually (I know I did!). If any of the people who I mentioned above read this, you are the real stars of this website, your words are full of wisdom and gave me a lot of guidance through some of the worst years of my life, thank you. Any advice on how to maintain a successful reconciliation would always be appreciated. Good luck to every one who is broken hearted right now, there were many times I never thought I would see or hear from her again, so it just goes to show that it can happen to anyone, Link to comment
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