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This will be long but I'd love some feedback


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Okay forgive me because I am typing on my phone. But I'll try to shorten it but it might take a lot to get it out.




X and I started dating almost 2 years ago. I am 30 years old and she is 24. Some important knowledge is that we are both recovering drug addicts.


X and I attend the same meetings, have the same group of friends and is involved with a pretty "close-knit" community at our home group and stuff.


So we got together when we were both fairly new in recovery. She is a single mother and struggles a little bit financially. Nothing she can't handle tho. We started off dating casually and it began to get serious. She has a 5 year old son who she has full time. So we dated for about 7 months. She caught me doing some fetish stuff online with my computer and considered it cheating so we broke up. During this time she began dating someone new and I was seeing someone very casually. We reconnected again after like 4 months apart and we both really missed each other. It was like awesome reconnecting with the girl I love actually. It was like we were dating all new again. Anyways, Labor Day i was wakeboarding and I fell and herniated 4 discs in my neck. I was in an immense amount of pain and was prescribed pain meds.


*Side Note: I was already in a court program called drug court and I was about to graduate.


So I had been clean. Took the pain meds. I quickly went back to my drug of choice which is a stronger form of that. That Monday my girlfriend was worried because I wasn't answering my phone and she left work. Came by my house, noticed my car door open and couldn't get in the house. She called 911 had them break the door down and I was overdosed face down on the floor. I was then rushed to the hospital and they brought me back to life on the ambulance.


When I woke up. My girlfriend was there holding my hand crying. Came and visited me the whole time and took me home to her house and took care of me. Because due to the lack of oxygen I endured my short term memory has been handicapping me significantly. And she was taking care of me.


Since I was in that program they sanctioned me to go to a rehab. Before Rehab I had to wait in Jail. She wrote me letters, sent me pictures, and answered everyone of my calls the whole time I was in Jail and Rehab. When i got out of rehab I decided to move in with her and her son. Having never lived with a kid I began to get really irritated and ungrateful. I forgot everything I loved about her and began focusing on the negative. So we've fought a bit since living together. The real kicker is since I've lived with her she was put on felony probation for an old charge from almost 2 years ago. But yeah. I relapsed twice now and the second time she moved out.


I haven't tried calling her much. It's been almost a week. She called and said how much she hates me and I talked to her tonight and she cried and I was just apologizing and talking about how I need to do a lot of work on myself but I'm sorry I ruined everything between us and I'll never forgive myself.


My question is: Do I have any chance for her to come back?



I know I need to be more active in my recovery. And can't use drugs at all. But I miss her and love her. I know when she was crying she is just hurt but I really want them in my life


Any feedback is much appreciated

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You're fighting a hard battle. Maybe she is scared you'll overdose or stay addicted. Maybe she is leaving because of the fights. There's no way to know if she'll come back, but YOU can come back -- the real, sober you.


Just don't stop fighting. You can beat this, and your life will be better as a result.

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