2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Could women give me their opinions/tastes relating to giving men oral? Ive formed an opinion that generally, women dont really enjoy or want to do this for the man in their lives but do so as part of an exchange of power. I guess I'm asking if you actually like it. Link to comment
WithLove Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I like it because of the power rush. But it's still something I do even if I get nothing in return, because I like making my partner feel good. Are you having a problem with a partner not performing oral? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Have you tried communicating with her that you enjoy it? - She has pretty much gotten into this pattern of asking me what I want in bed, then not agreeing to anything I want - Foreplay has gotten longer, and longer and longer.... but even I can't keep an erection for 45 minutes to a hour w/o getting any real stimulation for myself. - For the last 6 months, this foreplay has more often than not led to...her having an orgasm, then her telling me she's just too dry to have vaginal sex. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I like it because of the power rush. But it's still something I do even if I get nothing in return, because I like making my partner feel good. Are you having a problem with a partner not performing oral? Shes just not super into doing really anything for me. Im a BIG giver and totally enjoy getting her going. Along with how her and her friend went off (a few months ago) about how much women hate giving oral. I don't think between old girlfriends, wives and other women friends ive met and talked with ive ever heard even one admit they enjoy or like doing things like this for their men. Its just an observation. It makes me start to think sex is fun for men and nothing more than a power play for women. Negative and unfair to generalize i know.... Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Not to be vulgar, but it depends on your fella. Not all men, well, bathe a/o eat equally, as it were. But yes, if a woman says that she enjoys the act for the act in and of itself, this is entirely credible. Link to comment
yatsue Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Power...is not what I at least do it for. I think honestly it's a little weird to do it for that reason. I don't enjoy it; it makes me want to choke, is hard on my mouth and I can hardly breathe. Although, I do it for my partner, not myself because I know he likes it. I want to make him feel good and reciprocate that mutually. That's all. Sex is fun for women, or else why do I have an unsatiable sex drive? Among many other women out there. Of course there are those that don't or only like to receive. That sounds like what you're experiencing or have experienced so far and are basing all your conclusions on that. You just gotta face the music; your partner is selfish in bed. My advice is to stop being a "giver". Don't reward with no effort in return of all of your efforts. Link to comment
WithLove Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Shes just not super into doing really anything for me. Im a BIG giver and totally enjoy getting her going. Along with how her and her friend went off (a few months ago) about how much women hate giving oral. I don't think between old girlfriends, wives and other women friends ive met and talked with ive ever heard even one admit they enjoy or like doing things like this for their men. Its just an observation. It makes me start to think sex is fun for men and nothing more than a power play for women. Negative and unfair to generalize i know.... It is definitely a thing for you to be mismatched sexually, you know. She sounds selfish in bed. You really want to look for being with someone that loves making her partner feel good just like you do. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 We are married. This is something i will talk about when we go to counseling later in March. She is stubborn and does not like talking about sex. I want this to work...but i have needs too. Sigh. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 This is my 2nd marriage and im losing my faith in women and marriage. This should be another post. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Have you tried communicating with her that you enjoy it? I tried talking with her multiple times and it almost always ends up being my fault. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Not to be vulgar, but it depends on your fella. Not all men, well, bathe a/o eat equally, as it were. But yes, if a woman says that she enjoys the act for the act in and of itself, this is entirely credible. Im well groomed and fit. Im a runner. I take care of myself. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Well....I love sex, and yes totally enjoy giving oral. The intense pleasure he is feeling actually turns me on. However, he better be spiffy sparkling fresh and clean down there. If the last time you showered was in the morning and now it's night time, that won't do. Ultimately, whether sex is enjoyable or not, depends on both people involved, how well matched you are in sexual preferences and how well you are able to communicate your likes and dislikes with each other. The last part being most critical. I know a lot of women are not comfortable addressing things in the bedroom and will suffer a horrible sex life in silence until they are completely put off sex and don't want to have it anymore. That's nothing to do with gender, that's actually a problem they've caused for themselves. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 It's not about power for me. I'm not into sex being a leveraging tool or power plays - that is a turn off for me. I do what I enjoy. Giving and receiving oral is enjoyable for me. I wonder why it is you have chosen women who have this particular relationship to sexuality. Any ideas? Was it attractive to you in the beginning? Or is it something you don't vet out early on when the signs are there because of an expectation that's it's normal for women? Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 It's not about power for me. I'm not into sex being a leveraging tool or power plays - that is a turn off for me. I do what I enjoy. Giving and receiving oral is enjoyable for me. I wonder why it is you have chosen women who have this particular relationship to sexuality. Any ideas? Was it attractive to you in the beginning? Or is it something you don't vet out early on when the signs are there because of an expectation that's it's normal for women? In both cases the sex life has started open and giving...and ultimately becomes one sided. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I think it's all about who you are with. Some just don't do it. Others seem to really it. One said, woman should only do this if there married haha. As she was doing it. I laughed at that comment. I don't think anything should ever be off the table sexually. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Isolating it to oral and not potentially an overall theme of her selfishly or unenthusiastically emulating a wooden plank in bed, man or woman, I don't think you need to justify not wanting to put your mouth on other people's genitals. And if your concern is an overall selfishness in bed, I'd be careful not to make it about oral specifically. If she's not a fan of oral now, I can't imagine there was ever a time when she grabbed your penis and shoved it in her mouth with a purpose. If it's really important to you, it sounds like you've disregarded a huge sexual incompatibility not only staying with her to begin with, but marrying her. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 This is my 2nd marriage and im losing my faith in women and marriage. This should be another post. I don't mean to put you down but twice already you've made generalizations of women. Women are not the issue. Your specific relationships are. So, I suspect that you might need a stronger and longer vetting process before getting married to make sure you were really compatible. Hopefully therapy eventually helps you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Shes just not super into doing really anything for me. Im a BIG giver and totally enjoy getting her going. Along with how her and her friend went off (a few months ago) about how much women hate giving oral. I don't think between old girlfriends, wives and other women friends ive met and talked with ive ever heard even one admit they enjoy or like doing things like this for their men. Its just an observation. It makes me start to think sex is fun for men and nothing more than a power play for women. Negative and unfair to generalize i know.... What is this "power play" crap? I agree with Darcy! Stop with the generalizations! Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I dont really like doing it but I do because he likes it. I am not forced to do it, so dont get the wrong idea. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Isolating it to oral and not potentially an overall theme of her selfishly or unenthusiastically emulating a wooden plank in bed, man or woman, I don't think you need to justify not wanting to put your mouth on other people's genitals. And if your concern is an overall selfishness in bed, I'd be careful not to make it about oral specifically. If she's not a fan of oral now, I can't imagine there was ever a time when she grabbed your penis and shoved it in her mouth with a purpose. If it's really important to you, it sounds like you've disregarded a huge sexual incompatibility not only staying with her to begin with, but marrying her. Agree.."oral" is just an example of behavior that some might consider "giving". There are other things less banal that i would consider missing from our love making. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I don't mean to put you down but twice already you've made generalizations of women. Women are not the issue. Your specific relationships are. So, I suspect that you might need a stronger and longer vetting process before getting married to make sure you were really compatible. Hopefully therapy eventually helps you. ....and i think I've admitted those generalizations are not fair. If we can't admit that sometimes these things introduce bias into our thinking...keep looking for perfection elsewhere...im not perfect. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 What is this "power play" crap? I agree with Darcy! Stop with the generalizations! And the piling on starts. Sometimes...folks...there are actually men out here who want a two way street in their relationships. It doesn't mean we are being selfish. "Oral" was an example. I can see where this is going....which is where i don't want the discussion to go. Thanks for the feedback. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 ....and i think I've admitted those generalizations are not fair. If we can't admit that sometimes these things introduce bias into our thinking...keep looking for perfection elsewhere...im not perfect. For your part, you could work on those generalizations. At some point, you would want to get past admitting them. Both you and your wife have areas of improvement that therapy can assist with. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 What is this "power play" crap? I agree with Darcy! Stop with the generalizations! If you don't know what a sexual or relationship power play is...i cant help you. I will not "compete" for sex with my wife or tell her "i did this so i expect you to do that". She does that sometimes and its not cool. She was not always like this. Our compatibility has changed. Its just frustrating. Link to comment
rosephase Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 She's been clear that she doesn't like giving oral. Have you tried other ways of improving your sexual dynamic? Do you have a healthy active sex life otherwise? What does she say when you talk to her about your dynamic? Link to comment
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