Steffiey Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hi, I've just been broken up with my ex who constantly made me feel bad for everything, and whom I didn't feel strong sense of love towards. He broke up as he started liking another person during the relationship, but also because I was constantly busy. 3 weeks later, my best friend who has been there for me thick and thin, and me for him, for a long time, has asked me out. I knew that his feelings were genuine and apparently he liked me 6 months back but had to hold it back because I was in a relationship. I was touched by this, and thought about it for a day. During the time my gut feeling was telling me how much I loved, cared, and would sacrifice anything for this best friend of mine. I burst into tears as I realised my intense feeling of love for him. And so the next day, I said yes to his confession. Because if this was going to happen anyway, why not now? I was going to be single however for however long period I wanted to. This is because it is my nature to be perfectly happy in my own company. Which was why it was tough balancing with my ex's needy nature. We have been together for 2 weeks now, and we progressed a lot during the time. I was going to request him to slow down as I felt the need to pick myself up again. But I got worried sick when i learnt of the word 'rebound'... and was hoping that this was not what I was doing to my best friend. He cares a ton about me and I care so much about him. Even If this is the happiest that I've been in a long time, was it wrong for me to not wait? Thank you for your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hi, I've just been broken up with my ex who constantly made me feel bad for everything, and whom I didn't feel strong sense of love towards. He broke up as he started liking another person during the relationship, but also because I was constantly busy. 3 weeks later, my best friend who has been there for me thick and thin, and me for him, for a long time, has asked me out. I knew that his feelings were genuine and apparently he liked me 6 months back but had to hold it back because I was in a relationship. I was touched by this, and thought about it for a day. During the time my gut feeling was telling me how much I loved, cared, and would sacrifice anything for this best friend of mine. I burst into tears as I realised my intense feeling of love for him. And so the next day, I said yes to his confession. Because if this was going to happen anyway, why not now? I was going to be single however for however long period I wanted to. This is because it is my nature to be perfectly happy in my own company. Which was why it was tough balancing with my ex's needy nature. We have been together for 2 weeks now, and we progressed a lot during the time. I was going to request him to slow down as I felt the need to pick myself up again. But I got worried sick when i learnt of the word 'rebound'... and was hoping that this was not what I was doing to my best friend. He cares a ton about me and I care so much about him. Even If this is the happiest that I've been in a long time, was it wrong for me to not wait? Thank you for your time. At this point, I can't see how it makes a difference if you were wrong or not. Also 'wrong' seems too restrictive. It's not ideal. But it's not the worst start that's gone by the forum just today, in my opinion. If you're aware of the pitfalls and risks inherent to rebound relationships, perhaps you can enact countermeasures, appropriately. If your only other option is to break up now and you want to continue the relationship, I don't see anything else you can do. Rebound relationships have their difficulties, to be sure. But if you're educated and you take pains to counteract the common conflicts and obstacles, I don't believe that anything is written in the stars and certainly not a foregone conclusion of imminent, inescapable doom and gloom. I also think that given the nature of your profound friendship with this bloke, and the mutual respect and appreciation you two have for each other, you stand a better chance of making a relationship work than, say, if you'd done nothing more than to take yourself off the market for a preconscribed period of 'x' days, weeks, months, etc., and then with nothing more than time having passed, you find a stranger to start with anew. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShatteredMan Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hi, I've just been broken up with my ex who constantly made me feel bad for everything, and whom I didn't feel strong sense of love towards. He broke up as he started liking another person during the relationship, but also because I was constantly busy. 3 weeks later, my best friend who has been there for me thick and thin, and me for him, for a long time, has asked me out. I knew that his feelings were genuine and apparently he liked me 6 months back but had to hold it back because I was in a relationship. I was touched by this, and thought about it for a day. During the time my gut feeling was telling me how much I loved, cared, and would sacrifice anything for this best friend of mine. I burst into tears as I realised my intense feeling of love for him. And so the next day, I said yes to his confession. Because if this was going to happen anyway, why not now? I was going to be single however for however long period I wanted to. This is because it is my nature to be perfectly happy in my own company. Which was why it was tough balancing with my ex's needy nature. We have been together for 2 weeks now, and we progressed a lot during the time. I was going to request him to slow down as I felt the need to pick myself up again. But I got worried sick when i learnt of the word 'rebound'... and was hoping that this was not what I was doing to my best friend. He cares a ton about me and I care so much about him. Even If this is the happiest that I've been in a long time, was it wrong for me to not wait? Thank you for your time. Be extremely careful. I confessed my feelings for a friend of mine and we began a relationship that I thought might end in a marriage. I was wrong and it nearly destroyed me in every way. Matter of fact, that's the main reason I found this site during my grief and pain. Just because you've been friends for a long time doesn't mean that you can skip the initial stages of building attraction during a normal situation where you meet someone that you're not familiar with and go through that process. We jumped in both feet first and I made the mistake of assuming that we could skip all of those steps because we had know each other for over ten years. Just be aware that if this doesn't work out, you may never be friends again afterward (per all the situations you read about out here)...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 It sounds like he was more than a friend all along and used this opportunity to get himself out of the friendzone. Pace yourself if you are concerned that you are rebounding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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